No Boundaries
by flooj9235
Summary: A young Bastila sees a new girl arrive at the Enclave, but she could never imagine what their futures will hold. Slash! FRevan/Bastila. Not a oneshot.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so, here we go. It's my first multi-chaptered slash fic, so we'll see how it goes. Bear with me.

Any construtive criticism would be appreciated. Anything aside from canon-related stuff, that is. I was very careful considering how closely I would follow canon, so I'd appreciate it if you would just take it as it is. =]

Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

"… Very good," Master Zhar said, nodding and smiling at his young apprentice. "All right, Bastila, that's enough for today. Run along and play."

"Thank you, Master!" a six-year-old Bastila cried, jumping down off of her chair and racing out of the training room. She darted through the crowds of people, heading to the docking bay. Her favorite tree was there, looming over the entrance to the Enclave like a guard.

Bastila went and sat against the trunk of the tree, watching the people milling around in the docking bay. One of the older Padawans, a young man named Malak, headed over to Bastila. He looked excited.

"Bastila, did you hear? There's a new apprentice coming today! Master Vrook said that she's about our age! Maybe we can play with her some time!"

Bastila shrugged, looking up at the sky as a flock of birds flew past.

"Malak? Where are you?" a Master called from inside the Enclave.

Malak groaned, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I have to go," he muttered. "But maybe I'll get to see the new girl later." He seemed to perk up at the thought, smiling and waving at Bastila before running off into the Enclave.

After an hour or so, a large ship docked. Throngs of people disembarked the vessel, most heading for the shuttle to the plains. Others were Jedi, returning from diplomatic missions on Coruscant. But then, as the majority of the people left, a small girl stepped out of the ship.

The girl didn't appear to be much older than Bastila herself, yet she moved with the grace of an adult. The new girl looked around the docking bay warily, watching everyone. Her cheeks were wet with tears, her eyes cloudy with emotional pain.

A Jedi Master came out of the Enclave and led the new girl in, but Bastila stayed behind. She stayed in the docking bay, climbing the lone tree and perching in the branches high above everyone else. Her curiosity was outweighed by a strange feeling in her chest.

A part of her was relieved the next day when she found that the new girl wasn't in any of her educational classes, but the other part of her wondered why. She didn't give the matter too much thought, immersed in her training.

Years passed, with Bastila only seeing the other girl, whom she now knew as Revan Turmen, every once in a great while. She was happy, having not received anything from her spoiled brat of a mother or done anything wrong in her training. Her potential was amazing and she became one of the best Padawans the Enclave had ever seen.

Then suddenly, the day Bastila turned 15, she received a small parcel in the inter-planet mail. It was her mother's handwriting on the box, cramped to fit in on the small surface. Bastila took one look at it, stuffed the box into her robes, and excused herself from her meal. She quickly headed out to the plains, making a valiant effort to fight off tears.

The moment she was out of the Jedi courtyard, she broke into a run. Bastila ran as far as she could, as hard as she could. When she reached the end of the Jedi controlled area, she turned and started back, stopping halfway back and collapsing to the ground. She began gasping for breath, her lungs and legs burning. Tears finally fell from her eyes, her chest aching as though her heart might fall out. Bastila wrapped her arms around herself and cried, lying in the grass.

It couldn't have been more than ten minutes that Bastila cried, but she suddenly heard footsteps. Bastila wiped her eyes on her sleeves and looked up to see who was coming after her. Something in her gut tightened when she saw Revan standing near her, looking worried.

Bastila sat up quickly, wiping her cheeks and resting her hands in her lap. "What?" she asked quietly, her voice sounding a little more harsh than she had meant it to.

"I… I saw you run out here alone, and I thought you might need some help or something," Revan murmured. She looked genuinely concerned; her striking green eyes were full of worry. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Bastila replied miserably. She sniffled softly, hating how pitiful she sounded. After a moment, she chanced a glance at Revan. The other teen was still standing there, looking helpless. "You're Revan," Bastila said softly, for lack of anything else to say.

Revan nodded slowly, settling herself down on the grass at Bastila's side, still maintaining a comfortable distance between them. "Yeah, I am. And you're Bastila, right?"

Bastila nodded, pulling up a few blades of grass and shredding them. Having finally met Revan, she didn't know what to say. It made her even less comfortable knowing that Revan had seen her crying. She reached into her pocket and touched the box from her mother, fighting off a fresh wave of tears. "Hey, Revan?" she asked before she even knew what she was doing. "Have you ever hated someone for ruining your life, even though you weren't supposed to?"

Revan glanced over at Bastila thoughtfully. "Yeah."

Bastila nodded, looking up and out across the plains. She sighed finally, her head drooping again. "Me too."

Revan was silent for a moment. "I'm an orphan," she began, tucking her knees to her chest and staring at the grass in front of her feet. "A Mandalorian raid came, and my mom told me to hide out in the backyard. I did, and when all the shooting stopped, my house was burned to the ground, and my parents were dead. I hated the Mandalorians for a while, but finally, I just gave up. It wasn't worth it; I can't do anything to stop them, anyway. I'm just one person."

Bastila turned and looked over at the girl beside her, surprised at the revelation. "I'm sorry," she murmured, not knowing what else to say.

Revan shrugged, sitting up a little straighter. "Me too." She lapsed into silence again, her face not showing pain or anything similar to it. She didn't look like she expected a story in return, but Bastila grit her teeth and opened her mouth anyway, deciding that it was the least she could do.

"My mom just sent me here to get rid of me," Bastila mumbled darkly. "I don't think she ever really loved me. My dad was a treasure hunter, and she loved sending him out to find things. I was just extra luggage, basically. My mom couldn't have gotten me here fast enough when she found out I could be a Jedi."

Revan frowned. "You hate your mom?"

Bastila nodded curtly, absently shredding more grass.

"Aw, Bastila, that's not right. If it wasn't for your mom, you wouldn't be here."

"Isn't that what I just said?" Bastila asked softly, drawing a deep breath to calm herself.

Revan sighed. "That's not what I meant. Your mom loved you enough to bring you into this life, didn't she? You just gotta let go of that hate. It's not good for you to hold onto that," she finished.

"You mean I'll fall to the dark side."

"No," Revan replied, getting to her feet. "I don't mean that at all. I don't think you can fall that easy. But it'll eat you up inside, make you miserable." She brushed herself off. "You seem like you're too good a person to be miserable, anyway."

Bastila looked up at Revan thoughtfully. She felt her anger toward her mother lessen a little. "Thanks," she mumbled, suddenly wishing she'd gotten to know Revan earlier.

"I love your accent," Revan said suddenly, grinning. "It's just so…"

"Strange? Different? Irritating-but-you-don't-want-to-say it?" Bastila asked, counting off on her fingers sarcastically. She knew most people found her accent a little hard to understand, something that she found annoying.

"No," Revan murmured, confusion on her face as she frowned. "I personally think it's adorable," she grinned. "But I guess you could say it's very exotic."

"Is that good or bad?" Bastila asked sullenly, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"It's perfect," Revan told her, smiling. "Where are you from?"

"Talravin," Bastila replied, her mood lifting a little. "And… thank you. I mean it."

Revan nodded. "No problem." She was silent for a moment, finally looking back down at Bastila. "So, are you going to stay out here all night, or do you plan on coming in soon?"

Bastila shrugged. "I'm not sure. Why?"

Revan looked a little embarrassed all of a sudden. "Well, I don't know, really. I mean, I've been wanting to get to know you since I heard one of the Masters talking about you. They said you were one of the most intelligent Padawans they've had, and that you could be a real role model. I've… well, I just wanted to get to know you."

Bastila blushed a soft pink. She hadn't realized that the Masters were praising her like that. "I…" She fingered the box in her pocket again. "I think I'll just stay out here a little longer."

Revan nodded slowly, turning and starting to head away. "Hey, Bastila?"

"Hm?"

"Don't skip dinner today, okay? It's not good for you. Besides, crying'll drain you out, and eating something helps you feel better." Revan glanced back at Bastila, something akin to concern in her eyes.

Bastila was surprised. She didn't know that anyone had noticed her skip the occasional meal. "I… All right."

Revan nodded, looking a little happier. "Good." She turned and walked back toward the Enclave, leaving Bastila alone on the plains, feeling a little better.

Bastila pulled the box out of her pocket and stared down at it. After a long moment she opened it, surprised to find a necklace inside. The long titanium chain glittered in the sunlight, the small pendant that held a stone that matched her eyes sparkled as well.

Bastila stared at it, a dull anger burning in the back of her skull. She set the necklace back inside the box, grabbing the note that had come with it. "Dear Bastila," she read aloud, her voice shaking. "I'm sorry that I've let us grow so far apart. I will try to come and visit you some time soon, if I can tear your father away from this new planet. I love you, my daughter."

Bastila stared at the last line of the note, tears filling her eyes. She couldn't help but think that her mother just wrote the note for show. Bastila stuffed the note back into the box and shoved it back into her robe pocket.

She sat out on the plains for a little while longer, fighting wave after wave of emotion. When she was finally semi-calm, Bastila got up and headed back to the Enclave, taking her time. Remembering Revan's request, she headed toward the cafeteria, surprised to find it mostly empty. She'd apparently spent more time on the plains than she had thought. It was nearly eight in the evening, standard time. Bastila frowned to herself, grabbing something to eat and heading to her dorm.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few days, Bastila saw Revan more and more. She realized that they hadn't been avoiding each other, but that she simply hadn't noticed Revan's presence. They talked casually when they had a moment, nodding a greeting when they didn't.

Surprised to find that they both were scheduled to eat their meals at the same time, they started sitting together, talking and becoming fast friends. Bastila confided in Revan how much she hated being singled out for having the special ability Battle Meditation, where she could turn the tides of battles in one group's favor if she wished. Revan, in turn, complained about the strictness of the Jedi Order on familial relationships and the ideals about love.

They trained together whenever they could, sparring out in the plains. They fought small groups of kath hounds, searching for the fabled crystal cave together. During their small battles, Bastila and Revan developed a joint form; they were able to perfectly complement the other's blows and quickly take out enemies.

Having become so close that they were nearly inseparable, they almost knew the other's thoughts before they thought them. It proved helpful when fighting off the kath hounds on their search for the crystal cave. They finally found it, after many months of searching, and Revan immediately announced she wanted to go in. Bastila, though a little less adamant, agreed quickly and they headed in.

It was pitch black inside the cave, so they ignited their lightsabers for light. The moment the blades shot out of the hilts, a large swarm of kinrath attacked.

Bastila fought off and killed a few, yelping when she felt one of the beasts bite her. The wound burned a moment later, forcing Bastila to realize that she'd been poisoned.

"What's wrong?" Revan asked immediately, her concern obvious. She had apparently heard Bastila's cry above all the squealing and known that something had happened.

"It bit me," Bastila responded through her grit teeth. She opened her mouth to say something else, only to find that her lightsaber got knocked out of her hand and extinguished. A particularly large kinrath leapt up on Bastila's shoulders, throwing her to the ground. It squealed loudly, baring its fangs and leaning toward her. Bastila screamed, screwing her eyes shut and throwing her hands up to protect her face. The moment she did so, the ground spun underneath her. The poison was rushing through her bloodstream, working to kill her. Bastila fought off a wave of nausea, faintly aware of the kinrath on top of her being thrown away.

She felt hands grabbing her arms and hauling her up onto someone's back. She was suddenly too disoriented by the poison attacking her brain to realize it was Revan. Bastila heard someone calling her name frantically, finally allowing the darkness surrounding her to take her away.

* * *

"Bastila…"

Bastila struggled to open her eyes, groaning a little as she tried to move. Her leg was aching, and for a brief moment, she wondered why.

"Bastila?"

Kinrath. She remembered now. Bastila frowned, wondering who was talking to her. Why did they sound so worried?

"Bastila, come on, wake up!"

Bastila grunted something she hoped sounded like 'I'm fine' and tried again to open her eyes. She did so with great difficulty, blinking a few times before the world came into focus. Revan was leaning over her, looking extremely anxious. Sweat had gathered on Revan's forehead and temples, showing that she had nearly fought herself to death to save both of their lives.

"Bastila?!"

Bastila grinned weakly, glancing around. "You okay?" she asked hoarsely, surprised to find that she was in a small room laying on a cot. A protocol droid stood at the ready in case they needed anything. The door was open, showing a long hallway beyond the room.

Revan sighed, nearly melting away with relief. Bastila noticed for the first time that Revan's cheeks were wet with tears. "I'm much better now," Revan responded, returning Bastila's smile as she dried her eyes. "I was worried about you. I didn't think I'd ever get to hear your cute little accent again."

Bastila stuck her tongue out at Revan. "I'm fine. I'm always fine," she said and shrugged, lifting herself into a sitting position. She felt Revan's arms go around her shoulders to steady her, grateful as she felt herself wobble. "Really, I'm fine, Rev. Thanks."

Revan rolled her eyes, hugging Bastila with a friendly affection. "You had me worried, buddy."

Bastila grinned, gesturing around with her chin. "Where are we?"

"We're in a farmhouse, actually," Revan replied, releasing her hold on Bastila, watching as Bastila tested her own balance. "I finished off all the kinrath after you went down--" Revan's voice hitched in her throat, but she swallowed and continued. "--and I carried you all the way here. It was the closest place."

Bastila nodded, turning and slipping off the cot, straightening as she stood on her own two feet. She groaned a split second later, her leg giving out beneath her weight. Before Bastila could topple to the ground, Revan's arms were around her, keeping her steady.

Bastila grimaced. "I don't think I can walk yet," she grumbled. "I can't even stand up!"

Revan helped lower Bastila back onto the cot, shrugging. "It's all right. I'm sure the farmer'll give us a ride back to the Enclave."

As if on cue, an older man walked in, smiling kindly at Bastila. "Good to see you're awake. You gave your friend quite a scare." He handed Bastila a small syringe, which she injected near her waist. The healing fluid quickly flowed through her system, causing her to sigh with relief.

The farmer smiled. "Feel better?"

Bastila nodded. "Much, thank you. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. I'm sorry."

The farmer shrugged, waving away Bastila's apology. "It's perfectly all right. We've all got to help each other." He seemed to think on his words for a moment, snapping out of his reverie after a moment. "Do you girls need a ride back to that Enclave of yours?" he asked. "After all, it's all I can do to help you out, and besides that, I doubt that leg of yours is ready for a walk."

Bastila and Revan smiled their thanks and nodded. With a smile in return, the farmer rose to get his speeder ready for the short trip.

* * *

The farmer dropped them off just outside the Jedi Enclave's courtyard entrance. Both girls thanked him, and he sped away, waving at them kindly.

Revan turned to Bastila, who was gingerly testing her weight as she leaned against a tree trunk. "You okay?" Revan asked.

Bastila shrugged. "I think so. I should be perfect in an hour or so." She scowled at her leg as it shook beneath her. Bastila grumbled and then looked up at Revan, a pleading look in her eyes. "Could you…?"

Revan grinned and caught Bastila's arm, throwing it over her own shoulders and taking on some of Bastila's weight. Together they began hobbling toward the Enclave entrance. Revan sighed. "Oh, I can hardly wait to explain this to Vrook," she muttered sardonically.

* * *

Revan was right; Vrook was completely disgusted with the situation and sentenced them both to a day and night out in the plains to think about what they'd done.

"This is stupid," Bastila fumed, pulling up a few blades of grass and shredding them. "This isn't done to sixteen year olds! This is a punishment for the younglings!"

Revan watched Bastila out of the corner of her eye. "Calm down, Bas. It's just one night."

Bastila snorted, though she did stop to calm down before she spoke again. "Still! I think it's dumb."

They were both silent for a long time, staring at the setting sun. A kath hound bayed in the distance, a faint, mournful sound.

"Hey, Bas?" Revan asked softly.

"What?"

"Don't scare me like that again."

Bastila cocked her head, confused for a moment. Finally, Revan's meaning came to her. "Oh. I'll try not to, Rev. But, you know, we're kind of accident prone," she added with a chuckle.

Revan snorted, a hint of a smile on her face.

Bastila watched as the smile disappeared and Revan's expression became pensive again. She was silent, as was Revan, for a few long minutes. "What's wrong, Revan?" Bastila asked softly, uneasy as she imagined the possible answers she might receive.

Revan paused, opening and then closing her mouth once, finally shaking her head. "Nothing."

Bastila reached out and rested a hand on Revan's shoulder, waiting until her friend looked at her. "Revan, I can tell something's wrong. Just tell me?"

"I… um…" Revan hesitated, glancing at Bastila uncertainly. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."

Bastila raised her eyebrows. "Oh? What about?"

"My feelings, I guess," Revan sighed. "About my friends."

Bastila nodded, turning and gazing at her friend in the fading light. "Let me guess," she said slowly, purposefully keeping all her emotions out of her voice. "You're falling for that tall guy. I forgot his name…"

"Malak?" Revan laughed. "No, I'm not. He's a good friend, but nothing more than that." She sighed. "No, Bastila, it's someone else."

"Oh, really?" Bastila asked, intrigued now that she had ruled out Malak. She raised a questioning eyebrow, grinning. "Who?"

Revan looked away after a moment's hesitation, deciding that she didn't want to pursue the topic any more. "Never mind."

"Revan!" Bastila whined. "Don't do that! You know I hate it."

Revan sighed, immediately defeated. "Fine. You know how I was so worried about you when you woke up?"

Bastila nodded.

"I was scared. I thought I might lose you." Revan was silent again. "I couldn't stand that, Bas… I care about you too much to lose you."

Bastila smiled, apparently still not understanding.

Revan groaned, burying her face in her hands. "You don't get it, do you?" She looked up at Bastila to see if her friend understood. The somewhat blank look in Bastila's eyes answered Revan's question. "Bastila, I'm different than you! I have feelings that you and every other Jedi doesn't have!"

Bastila frowned, uncertainly putting the pieces together. "Feelings?" she repeated softly.

"I'm gay, Bastila." Revan turned away, tears leaping to her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to force her tears away.

"Seriously?" Bastila sounded completely blown away, though it was obvious she was keeping her voice gentle.

Revan nodded, still not looking in Bastila's direction. She swiped her sleeve across her eyes, wishing she didn't have to be crying. "I… I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore," she whispered, trying not to let her voice crack. "I--" She interrupted herself, shaking her head violently and getting to her feet. Revan ran, ignoring Bastila's surprised cry behind her.

After a few minutes, Revan stopped, leaning against the nearest tree as she gasped for breath, still crying.

Only a moment later did Bastila's footfalls become audible behind her, coming to a stop as she paused a few feet from her friend. "Revan, look at me," she pleaded breathlessly, massaging her side where a stitch was beginning to form.

Revan ignored her, her body trembling with both crying and exhaustion.

Bastila stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Revan, rocking her friend gently. "Don't cry," she murmured. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."

Revan drew a long breath, hesitating to ask her question. She felt a few more traitorous tears slip down her cheeks before she spoke. "You don't hate me for it, do you?"

Bastila chuckled, squeezing Revan gently. "Hardly. You're my best friend, Rev. Something like this isn't going to change that."

Revan finally tuned her gaze on Bastila, the expression on her face one of unease. "You do know that I've got, um, feelings for you, right?"

Bastila nodded slowly, looking her friend in the eye. A small, uncertain smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Yes," she replied slowly.

Revan frowned, her eyebrows raising in confusion. "What?" she asked uncomfortably.

"You aren't so different from me, Revan," Bastila murmured, her eyes dropping to Revan's collar as a light blush crept up her neck. "I, uh, I might have… feelings for you, too."

Revan gaped at Bastila. She was too shocked to even form words, so she just stared, her heart pounding in her ears.

As the silence dragged on, Bastila's blush deepened. She didn't look at Revan, chewing on her lip uneasily. "I… maybe I shouldn't have said anything," Bastila mumbled, releasing Revan and stepping away. "I just thought--"

Revan cut her off, catching Bastila's wrists and pulling her toward her, kissing her softly. She felt her brain flood with emotion, blocking out anything else that had been going on. For a few moments, it was just her and Bastila.

Revan seemed to suddenly realize what she was doing, pulling away. She looked up to see Bastila staring at her, an unreadable expression in Bastila's eyes.

"I--um, sorry. I couldn't help myself." Revan bit her lip, her gaze dropping to her hands which were still wrapped around Bastila's wrists. "Was that way out of line?"

Bastila managed a grin, shaking her head shyly. "No way. That was perfect." She wrapped her arms around Revan's neck, leaning in to kiss Revan again.

* * *

Part of that might have been a little redundant, sorry. I originally wrote that different and then changed it, and might have completely botched it...

Anyway, I got a review saying something about Malak's name being Alek?

Thanks SynysterShadow, I didn't know that at the time I was writing. =] It's a little too late to go back and change it, so for now Malak will still be Malak.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 1! Your feedback was very much appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

I just wanted to give a little shout out to Jen DeClan for the title! Thanks a lot! =]  
And with no further ado, here's Chapter 3...

* * *

Bastila and Revan kept quiet about their newfound relationship, exchanging knowing smiles whenever they saw each other and had no time to talk. They were sure not to give the Masters anything to be suspicious about, and no one suspected anything.

As the months passed, much of their free time was spent together, if not all of it. More than once a week, they snuck out of the Enclave and found a secluded spot on the plains, talking and making out. When Revan brought up the topic of long term relationships, her cheeks turned crimson. Bastila laughed, kissing Revan softly and banishing all embarrassment from her friend's mind. She hinted that it might be in their future, and Revan grinned, her cheeks flushing again.

Bastila only smiled and took Revan's hand, stroking her friend's hair gently. "Yes, the minute you become a Jedi Master…"

"Hey!" Revan yelped, her forehead creasing. "You know as well as I do that I don't want to be a Master!"

Bastila grinned angelically, making to get up and run away.

Revan tackled her to the ground before Bastila could move, cuddling her close. "Kidding aside…"

"Mmm," Bastila mumbled, still smiling as she snuggled into Revan's arms. "Who was kidding?" She laughed aloud as Revan yelped indignantly. "Just teasing," she sighed contentedly, absently playing with the ends of Revan's hair. "I'll… We'll see what happens, okay?"

Revan immediately seemed more relaxed, smiling as she kissed the tip of Bastila's nose. "M'kay."

* * *

"Revan!"

The call came from far away.

Revan tore her lips from Bastila's, gasping for breath. She scowled at the tall figure that was approaching, already knowing it was Malak. He had a tendency to interrupt her whenever she was alone on the plains with Bastila. Usually, he came across them making out, but had kept the secret, too loyal to his friend to spill.

Bastila snorted as Malak came closer, releasing Revan reluctantly. She scooted a few inches away from Revan, grinning when Revan grabbed her hand. "Why is it," she asked under her breath. "That he always has impeccable timing?"

Revan laughed. "He's talented like that, I guess."

"Revan!" Malak cried, coming closer. He nodded a greeting to Bastila, pausing to catch his breath. "The Mandalorians just attacked Deralia! Everything's gone!"

Revan stiffened, the color draining from her face. She felt Bastila turn to look at her, feeling concern radiate off of her friend. "How many dead?"

Malak shrugged, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he realized he'd walked in on Bastila and Revan again. "I think all the men and children are gone. They took some of the women for slaves."

Revan growled, grinding her teeth. "I hate those Mandalorian bastards," she murmured.

Malak nodded. "I know," he replied automatically. "The Council said that no one's allowed to do anything about it until they say so."

"I hope it's soon," Revan grumbled.

Malak turned and headed away, saying something about talking to the Council.

Bastila squeezed Revan's hand gently. "Hey," she called softly. "You okay?"

Revan sighed. "It's gone," she mumbled. "All my home world is just… gone."

Bastila wrapped an arm around Revan's shoulders comfortingly. "I know. Surely the Council will do something about it. They don't like it when a whole planet is decimated."

Revan grunted something unintelligible, leaning into Bastila's shoulder.

Bastila sensed the onset of tears and wrapped her arms around Revan, rocking her friend gently.

Revan cried into Bastila's shoulder, releasing all of her frustrations and anger toward the Mandalorians through her tears. She was very glad of the comfort Bastila gave her, realizing something deep inside her. "Bastila," she mumbled, wiping her eyes and looking her friend in the eye. She managed a small smile. "I love you."

* * *

The Council didn't give any orders for any Jedi to go fight. They ordered the opposite. No one was to join the fight and aid the Republic.

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Revan fumed, cracking her knuckles as she sat on the edge of Bastila's bed. "Just sit around and let people die every day?"

Bastila nodded reluctantly, watching Revan in the mirror as she brushed her hair. "I guess so. At least until the Council decides it time to help."

"But when?! It's been a year since Deralia got decimated! I don't want the same thing to happen to anywhere else!"

Bastila hesitated. "I know. I don't like it either, but what the Council says is what we have to do."

Revan snorted angrily, falling back onto the bed and stretching out as she scowled up at the ceiling. "I hate this, Bas," she said finally. "I want to help everyone so bad, but I can't because the damn Council says so!"

Bastila plopped on the bed beside Revan, cuddling with her. "I know," she repeated. "It'll turn out right, Revan. I promise. The light always wins."

Revan sighed, her arms slipping around Bastila's thin frame. She relaxed when she felt Bastila playing with her hair silently, calming Revan down without provoking a fight. She was eternally grateful to Bastila for it; she knew she had a hot temper, and Bastila knew the ways to calm her without a fight. Thanks to her, they'd never had a fight, never exchanged harsh words, and never caused the other tears.

_Bastila, _Revan thought, cuddling closer to Bastila and sighing contentedly. _You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. And no matter what happens, I'll never let us drift apart. _"I love you," she whispered in Bastila's ear.

Bastila smiled and kissed Revan gently. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Happy birthday, Rev!" Bastila called cheerfully, sitting down beside her friend at their lunch table.

"It's your birthday?" Malak asked Revan incredulously. "Man, I feel lousy," he added, noticing the small box in Bastila's hands. "I should have gotten you something."

Revan smiled at him. "It's fine. I'm surprised Bastila knew, even." She turned a curious eye on Bastila, who grinned a little wider. "How'd you find out?"

"I pulled a few strings and got someone to hack into the computer system and find out. I've been waiting to give you this for months," she said, holding up the box as she spoke. Bastila thrust the package into Revan's hands, still grinning.

Revan glanced at the package, glancing up at Bastila again.

"Open it," Bastila urged. "I want to see what you think!"

Revan smiled, pulling the lid off of the box. She gasped, gazing down at the gift.

"What is it?" Malak asked, leaning forward a little to see better.

Revan lifted the necklace out of the box, her jaw hanging open.

Bastila watched, wondering what Revan thought. Bastila had taken the necklace her mother had sent her four years before, removed the old stone, and replaced it with a green one that matched Revan's eyes. It had taken her a few weeks, especially since Revan was almost always with Bastila, but she had miraculously managed to finish it in time.

"Oh, Bastila," Revan breathed, still staring at the gift. "It's beautiful."

Bastila breathed a silent sigh of relief. "You like it?"

Revan grinned, finally looking over at Bastila again. "I love it!" She grabbed Bastila in a hug. "Thank you!"

Malak grinned at Bastila. "Nice. It's real pretty."

"And it'll go well with her eyes," Bastila added, taking the necklace from Revan and fastening it around Revan's neck. "There. Beautiful."

Revan's cheeks turned pink, an embarrassed grin on her face. "Bas, you shouldn't have."

Bastila chuckled. "Well, I did. So there." She snatched a small chunk of bread from Revan's plate and popped it into her mouth. "So, what's going on?"

Malak glanced at Revan. "We found out, or at least heard a rumor, that the Council isn't sending anyone out to help."

Revan's gaze hardened, the happy light in her eyes dimming. "Yeah. That, and another group of planets fell to the Mandalorians. They're getting closer and closer to the Outer Rim."

Bastila sighed, resting her chin on her hand. She drummed her fingers on the table absently. "It's just a rumor," she repeated, hoping to calm Revan before she got worked up.

Malak nodded, draining the last of his drink. "Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I'm going to go and meditate. I'll see you girls later." He stood, nodding a farewell as he headed out of the cafeteria.

Revan watched him leave, turning to Bastila once he was out of the room. "Y'know," she murmured. "I'm scared that they won't let us go. I _want _to help."

"I know you do," Bastila replied, resting her hand on Revan's knee under the cover of the table. "But maybe they see something beyond what we can see."

Revan made a face. "I guess so. But either way, I don't like it."

* * *

I know, it's short. For me, it's short, anyway. =] The next chapter will make up for it, so don't worry. If you're going to continue reading this, that is. If you are, my thanks and gratitude go out to you!

Reviews are welcome; like I said, this is my first multi-chaptered slash fic.


	4. Chapter 4

Months later, after the destruction of another planet, the Council called a meeting for all the Jedi to attend. Revan sat between Bastila and Malak, listening as the Council gave their orders.

Not a single Jedi was allowed to leave and help the war effort. They were all to remain at the Enclave until further instruction. Anyone who violated the orders would be sent to trial and most likely exiled from the Order.

Bastila felt Revan stiffen and fidget in her seat, and reached over and touched the back of Revan's hand. She shook her head when Revan turned to her, looking as though she might jump up and start yelling at the Masters.

Bastila heard Revan grumble something under her breath, relieved as Revan settled back into her seat.

"… and we know that innocents are dying every day, but we will not permit you to aid them. We will not stand for losing more of the Jedi than have already been lost defending the planets farthest from the Core Worlds." Vrook paused for breath, opening his mouth to continue. "Jedi are protectors of the galaxy, but we must only act when the time is right, or else there may be grave consequences."

Revan turned and whispered something to Malak, who nodded, a determined look on his face.

"Jedi, obey these orders or risk your lives. War is horrible. People die every day. You will not be among them. I--"

"But what if we can stop some of those people from dying?!" Revan cried, jumping to her feet. She swatted Bastila's hand away when Bastila tried to pull her back into her seat. "It's wrong to let so many people die, Master! You know it as well as I do! If we could save just one life, I believe that would make a difference!"

"Revan, sit down," Vrook ordered icily.

"No, sir!" Revan retorted. "I think we should do something! I know that the Jedi numbers are few because of the war, but I still think our talents would be better used fighting off an actual threat rather than sitting here!

"I became a Jedi to save lives, Master Vrook," Revan continued, her voice growing strong and steady. "Not just because I was Force sensitive. I want to help people, and I'll be damned if I just sit here and let people die because I'm not going to go help them!"

"Revan!" Vrook yelled. "Sit down and be silent!"

Revan glared at him, looking at the seated Jedi around her. "Wouldn't you all rather help someone in need rather than let them die? Isn't that what being a Jedi is all about?? Isn't that why the Jedi don't kill anyone that they take prisoner? The people of this galaxy are in need of help, and the Republic isn't strong enough to help them on its own. Haven't we all seen the pictures of the destruction the Mandalorians have caused? Haven't we heard the horror stories?

"If I go one more day without taking action, I just might go insane," Revan continued. "The killing has gone on long enough. It's time to put a stop to the Mandalorian slaughter! Who's with me?!"

Malak stood, towering above Revan. "I am," he declared immediately. He glanced at the Jedi below him, almost daring them to stand and ally with Revan.

Slowly, tentatively, Jedi began rising to their feet. Soon, nearly half the Enclave was on its feet, ready to support Revan.

Everyone's gaze turned on the furious Master Vrook. He was scowling at Revan, knowing she'd won over the hearts of many of the Jedi before him. "Do what you will," he sputtered. "But know that any Jedi that comes back alive will suffer the consequences." He looked every Jedi in the eye before stalking out of the room.

Bastila stared up at Revan, who was shaking with suppressed anger and satisfied resolve. Charisma practically rolled off of Revan. Revan looked down and met Bastila's gaze for a split second before turning and heading out of the room, Malak and the Jedi that now followed her on her heels.

All the Jedi remained there in surprised silence for a moment, thinking about Revan's words. Finally, they began to disperse, quietly talking amongst themselves. Bastila sat there for a moment, numb and surprised. She hadn't thought Revan would actually say anything, especially so… loudly.

Bastila leapt up and hurried out of the room, headed directly to Revan's quarters. She punched in the security code Revan had trusted her with, entering the room and shutting the door behind her.

"Revan?"

Revan turned away from the window at the far end of her quarters. She turned her gaze on Bastila. "You didn't stand up," she said finally, crossing her arms over her chest.

Bastila swallowed. "I… I couldn't. I agree with everything you said, but…"

"But what?" Revan's voice didn't contain a hint of anger, but was unnaturally calm and steady. Bastila could tell Revan was trying to control her temper.

"But the Council doesn't want--"

"Screw what the Council wants!" Revan shot back, her temper finally getting the best of her. "You agree with me, so you know that it's wrong to let all those people die!"

Bastila managed a frown, surprised that Revan had lost her temper. "Maybe so, but we can't disobey the Council!"

"You might not be able to, but I think I will, if it's the right thing to do." Revan turned back to the window, glaring out at the plains.

"Revan!" Bastila gasped. "You don't mean… You're not going to war, are you?!"

Revan snorted, the sound one of both sadness and determination. "Yes, I am, Bastila. Malak and I both are. He feels the same way I do, and we're going to help the Republic." She turned to assess her friend. "I… Bas, I want you with us." Her face took on a pleading, gentle expression, her tone softening. "I won't let anything happen to you. We can be together."

Bastila hesitated for only a moment. "No. I can't. The Council would throw us, me, out of the Order! The Jedi is all I have, Revan! I can't lose that!" She walked toward Revan, pausing when Revan snarled.

"_All you have_? What about me?! You told me that I was all that mattered to you! You said I was everything to you!" Tears glimmered in Revan's green eyes as she started yelling. "Don't I mean **anything** to you?!"

Bastila faltered, paling. "Revan, you're taking things out of context--"

"Out of context?!?" Revan growled, wiping her eyes furiously. "You said you loved me!! For five years, you've said you loved me! That's too long to just back out of it all now and say that it was just a little blip on the record!"

"Yeah, and?" Bastila shot back, ignoring the last comment. She knew it was only meant to anger her, but she was already angry. Tears slipped down her cheeks. "You said that all we had was a little teenage fling!"

"That's all I thought it would be at first! But then I fell in love with you!!"

"So, you're going to leave and get yourself killed because you love me? What a load of rancor shit!" Bastila screamed furiously. "What happens if you _do _die?! I'll be here, all alone, that's what! I can't bring you back!"

"It's all about you, huh?" Revan replied tartly, anger and frustration flashing in her eyes. "What about all those people that are dying every second? At least I'll have died doing something for them! Something that mattered! I won't be sitting around here on my lazy ass doing nothing!"

"Fine!!" Bastila threw her hands in the air. "Fine! Go do whatever the hell it is you're going to do! Save lives! Get yourself killed! See if I give a damn!" She drew a sharp breath, quieting her yelling some. "I tried to stop you, remember that when you're breathing your dying breath. Maybe then you'll see that you didn't have to do this."

"You're not making any sense!!" Revan cried, looking as though she understood perfectly. Something close to fear glittered in her eyes and she took a step toward Bastila.

"Maybe not," Bastila shot back, heading for the door. "But even so, I'm making more sense than your leaving does! I don't suppose that it ever occurred to you that I might actually be _scared _for you? Of course not! You were too busy plotting your escape from the Enclave with Malak! Well, fine!! Just get out of here, Revan! I don't care anymore!"

She stopped and turned to face Revan, putting a glare on her face though her heart told her to go to Revan and apologize. Her heart spoke to her in vain, for Bastila was too worked up to listen to anything. "And maybe you shouldn't care either!" she yelled at Revan. "Just forget about me! Then you can do whatever the hell you want without feeling guilty! And maybe I'll be able to forget about you! Sounds like a killer plan, doesn't it? Everything works out for the worst!"

Bastila saw the hurt flash across Revan's face before she headed out of Revan's room, heading for her own. She locked the door behind her, throwing herself onto her bed and bursting into tears. She knew Revan was leaving for sure now. And she was just as sure that Revan, the only person in the entire galaxy that she truly cared about, was going to get herself killed.

Bastila heard Revan step up to her door and fumble with the security pad. She held her breath, listening as the pad beeped and displayed a locked signal to Revan. Revan swore, lingering outside Bastila's door for just a moment. Finally Revan turned and headed away, leaving Bastila alone. Bastila curled up into a ball and began sobbing into her hands.

* * *

Revan and Malak, along with a the others that supported them, left the Enclave a week later. Revan didn't come to say goodbye. Bastila didn't leave her room that day until she was sure Revan was gone. Afterward, the halls of the Enclave seemed horribly empty.

Bastila knew that not many Jedi had left, but that Revan's absence was definitely obvious. To her, the whole Enclave had fallen into a dismal existence, and without Revan there to brighten the mood, Bastila couldn't see the joy in anything.

As the weeks passed and turned into months and years, she forced herself to put up a happy front, knowing that constantly pining for Revan would only cause the Council to become curious. Her heart ached horribly, and the memory of their last confrontation haunted her.

Then came the news.

The Mandalorians had been defeated. Malak and Revan were being celebrated as some of the greatest heroes of the galaxy. The Republic was safe again.

Many of the Jedi in the Enclave were thrilled, cheering Revan and Malak for helping, much to Vrook's malign.

Slowly, most of the Jedi from the war came trickling back into the Enclave, all weary but satisfied with their work. The rest of the Council overrode Vrook when the young Jedi were put on trial, and no one on Dantooine was exiled.

Bastila waited for days for Revan and Malak's return. She was one of the only ones to notice that some of the Jedi that had been reported as alive hadn't returned yet. Everyone else seemed to think that it was just a mistake on the record.

Bastila sat awake many nights, hoping and praying that Revan would walk in and make everything right again.

That day never came.

A Mandalorian planet was wiped out, all the men, women, and children alike dead. No one knew what to make of the sudden violence.

The Republic sent war cruisers to the scene, but were intercepted by Sith vessels. Strange, considering that the Sith really only had power over a lone planet, Korriban.

The Republic vessels hailed the Sith, finding that it was Revan and Malak who answered. In place of what should have been proud grins from their victory over the Mandalorians, Revan and Malak wore angry sneers. Malak had tattooed his bald head, and Revan was holding a mask that anyone could tell was a sign of evil. Both were clothed in black, malicious robes.

When asked about the Mandalorian planet, Revan cut the connection and the Sith forces attacked the Republic vessels. Ten thousand Republic lives were lost. A single vessel survived, returning to the Jedi Council to give them the news.

When they heard the story, everyone in the Enclave knew. Revan and Malak had fallen to the dark side.

Bastila felt as though her heart would never be whole again.

* * *

Over time, the Sith forces grew, and more planets were decimated. Telos was among them, along with Talravin's third moon and a small planet that was home to only a few kinrath.

The Council realized the danger that Revan and Malak posed and began organizing a strike team to go after Revan. They chose the more skilled Jedi, those that were good with the blade, and those that were good with the Force. For the latter reason, Bastila was chosen.

The Council also chose Bastila to lead the strike team, because of her friendship with Revan. She would better know how to deal with Revan and possibly convince her to turn back to the light.

Bastila requested not to go, and was asked to think about it. She did, and slowly realized that this was her chance to help Revan. If she was ever going to do something good for someone else, now was the time. Whether Revan knew it or not, she needed Bastila's help. And Bastila wasn't going to let her down.

* * *

The strike team entered the bridge, finding Revan standing alone at the window on the opposite side of the room, soldiers all at the ready between the Jedi and Revan.

Bastila's heart pounded wildly in her chest as she cut through line after line of soldiers. It had been almost two years since she had seen Revan. Would Revan even remember her, after all the time apart? She knew it was a preposterous train of thought, but she couldn't help but wonder.

Finally, she and the strike team killed the last of the soldiers, leaving nervous techs and ensigns standing around uneasily. The strike team walked up to Revan, lightsabers at the ready.

"Revan." Bastila's voice was hollow, her heartache evident. She felt a sudden burst of tears burning in her eyes.

Revan turned slowly, too slowly for anyone's taste. Finally, she faced the Jedi, her metal mask glinting in the light from the firefight outside. Malak and the rest of the Sith were doing all they could to stop the Jedi from getting anywhere close to their Master.

Revan's face was hidden behind the mask but she removed it a moment later, looking at each member of the strike team for a long moment. Her eyes came to rest on Bastila, memories and emotions flashing across her face.

"Revan," Bastila repeated, her hands and voice shaking as she extinguished her lightsaber. "Revan, please don't do this. Come back to the Jedi with us." She hesitated, continuing in a lower voice meant for Revan's ears only. "Come back to me."

Revan paused for only a moment. "I can't do that, Bastila. You know I can't ever go back to you, not after all that happened. And besides, I'm ruling the galaxy now! Haven't you noticed the efficiency of everything?"

"Revan, you're killing the people you fought to protect!" a strike team member piped up. He didn't last much longer. Revan crushed his windpipe with the Force and he fell to the deck, dead almost immediately.

"I'm not," she said in a smooth voice. "I'm killing the rebels that stand up to my perfect government."

Bastila snorted, calming the shaking in her hands. "The rebels? Funny, that seems analogous with you and Malak. The rebels of the Jedi. You couldn't let go of what you wanted to do even when you knew it was for the best!"

"That was years ago," Revan snarled, her hand twitching toward the lightsaber clipped to her belt. Bastila recognized it immediately as Revan's original hilt, the one Revan had been so proud of, because she had created it with her own two hands when she was promoted to Padawan.

"Maybe so, but if you had just waited, none of this would have happened. We could have been together, Revan. But," Bastila continued, sounding crestfallen. "You didn't listen to me."

"I did, actually," Revan replied nastily. "I'll have you know that I did give my best effort to let go of you and to not care anymore, just like you told me to. But I couldn't do it, Bastila. And you knew I couldn't. But you said it anyway, just to hurt me. "

Bastila's heart ached so badly she thought she might collapse. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I… I still care about you, Rev, even after--"

"Then why the hell did you tell me to forget about you?!" Revan yelled, her expression silencing everyone on the bridge. "Why did you say that you _didn't _care?! What do you think got me here, Bastila?! I didn't want to go back after we won because you were there! I was convinced that you hated me!!"

"I don't hate you, Revan!" Bastila replied, fighting to keep her voice even. "I made a mistake, yelling at you the way I did. And I've regretted it every god damn day since then!"

Revan looked a little surprised, something strange flashing across her face. She suddenly didn't seem as menacing as she had, instead more like her old self.

Bastila, meanwhile, noticed movement behind Revan and looked up to see a Sith fighter heading right for the bridge. She realized what was going to happen almost immediately.

"Bastila, I--"

"MOVE, REVAN!" Bastila screamed, lunging for her friend. She tried to pull her away, to protect her.

Revan looked up and saw the fighter, speeding closer and closer. She saw the plasma cannons power up and pulled Bastila behind her, taking the brunt of the explosion that ensued when the ship fired on the bridge.

The large explosion threw everyone to the deck, killing at least half of the strike team. Bastila was unharmed, thanks to Revan.

Bastila got to her hands and knees and looked up immediately, searching amongst the bodies for Revan. Her eyes were quick to locate the other woman, lying amongst bodies and debris. Bastila began crawling toward Revan, praying that she wasn't dead.

Revan had been flung almost fifteen feet away, and was laying unmoving on the deck. Her face was bloodied by shrapnel, the front of her robe burned and smoldering. Her lightsaber had rolled out of her hand, leaving Revan defenseless. Bastila knew that she could easily finish Revan off, saving the galaxy from Revan's wrath.

Bastila, however, felt Revan's life force fading. "Revan?" she called softly, realizing that her best friend was about to die. Bastila ignored what the Jedi inside her wanted to do, resting her hands on Revan's face and healing the wounds. Alarm shot through her as she felt Revan's energy flicker, fading.

Bastila tried stimulating Revan's heart with the Force, finding that it worked to no avail. Knowing she had no time left, Bastila leaned over Revan. She did the only thing she could think of to keep Revan alive and with her. Bastila kissed her.

For a moment, her heart flipped in her chest and she was taken back to the day of their first kiss. She lost herself in the kiss for the briefest moment, finally bringing herself back to her senses. Using the kiss, she forced her consciousness into Revan's, attempting to heal most of the internal injuries. She also gave Revan some of her own energy, preserving her life as best she could.

Bastila, suddenly weaker from giving Revan her energy, pulled away from Revan, gazing down at her love's pale face. She was relieved when Revan drew a shaky, rattling breath and moved her arm ever so slightly. Bastila called some of the strike team over, squeezing Revan's hand gently. "Hold on," she whispered to Revan.

Upon orders from Bastila, the last of the strike team gathered Revan in their arms and hurried back to their ship.

Bastila stared after them, praying that she had done enough to keep Revan alive. She saw Revan's lightsaber out of the corner of her eye and grabbed it, slipping it onto her belt as she jumped to her feet and hurried after the strike team.


	5. Chapter 5

Revan was gone.

Bastila felt sick to her stomach. Sure, she had, in essence, saved Revan's life, but the young woman she loved was gone. Her mind had been destroyed when Malak attacked.

The Council had plans to reprogram Revan's broken mind and turn her into a Republic soldier. They had been briefing all of the Jedi on Dantooine on the plan so that none of them would accidentally call Revan "Revan" again. Her new name was to be Katrina Turmen, volunteered by Bastila, who was the only one who knew that Katrina was Revan's middle name.

Soon after volunteering the name, Bastila couldn't stand it any more. She left the room, heading for the workshop. Once there, she swapped the red crystal in Revan's lightsaber for a green one, Revan's original color. Bastila stared at Revan's name on the hilt for a long time, her chest tightening with grief.

Finally, Bastila headed to Revan's room, still undisturbed from when Revan had left, and punched in the security code. She entered the small room, her heart sinking. She grabbed a blanket, the old necklace she had given Revan, and, though she was surprised to find it, an envelope with her name scrawled on it.

Bastila headed to her own dorm, falling onto her bed. She wrapped herself in the blanket that still smelled like Revan, latched the necklace around her own neck, and sat there for a moment. She inhaled, surrounded by the smell of her best friend, her love. Tears leapt to her eyes and she brushed them away, reaching up and touching the pendant that hung over her heart. Finally, she reached for the envelope.

She stared at Revan's handwriting for a long moment, her hands trembling. After a moment, she forced herself to open it, pull out the letter, and start reading.

_Bastila,_

_I hope I get the chance to give this to you before I leave.  
I know, you still don't agree with me on this, but it's something I have to do. I can only hope that you understand. _

_I wish I could've handled my temper better, believe me, Bas. I didn't want to leave with us being angry at each other, but I'm just too much of a coward to face you; that's the whole reason you're getting this letter. _

_I know what you said about me dying, but don't worry. I won't die on you, Bastila. I won't leave you alone in the galaxy. I'll always be with you. Besides, Malak's with me. He won't let anything happen._

_Bastila, I know you're probably pissed off at me for leaving, but just remember I still love you. I always will. I don't care what you said, or what the Council says. Falling in love doesn't lead to the dark side; it lights up your heart and soul and gives your life meaning.  
I know that from experience._

_No matter what happens, I'll never forget you, Bastila.  
And even if you hate me and don't love me anymore after this, please don't forget me._

_I love you, Bas._

_Revan_

The letter fluttered out of Bastila's hands. She wrapped her arms around herself, sobbing. Her chest felt like it might shatter. "Revan," she murmured, gasping for breath between sobs. "I'm so, so sorry. I love you…" She choked. "Please come back to me."

* * *

Revan didn't wake up for months. The medbay droids labeled her as comatose.

Bastila couldn't have forced herself to visit Revan if she had wanted to. It hurt too much to even think about seeing her best friend nearly dead, let alone go visit her.

The Masters suddenly called her into their chamber and told her their plan: Bastila was to go on a mission to Taris and help clear the Sith off the planet, helped by a ship full of Republic soldiers and the famous Carth Onasi. Revan, now better known as Katrina, would be assigned to the crew so Bastila could watch over her. Darth Revan was to have been killed by Bastila if anyone asked.

The mission itself was completely irrelevant to anything the Council had plans to do. The Council had, after much deliberation, decided to block off the remaining fragments of Revan's mind with a barrier. The mission was a test to see how well their barrier had worked.

At first, Bastila begged not to go, but finally consented when the Council became suspicious. They asked if her behavior might have something to do with Revan, and Bastila quickly agreed to go on the mission, silencing their thoughts.

A few weeks later, she and a unconscious Revan boarded the _Endar Spire_. Revan was taken to the medbay to be woken up and told that she had suffered a head wound during a speeder accident.

Bastila, however, immediately headed to her quarters, happy to find that she was boarding on the other side of the ship. She was informed not long after that Revan was awake and performing her duties, with no idea of her former identity.

Bastila vowed to herself that she would take great pains not to see 'Katrina'. She had finally numbed herself to her broken heart, but still wasn't sure she could handle being near Revan.

Nightmares of her final encounter with Revan plagued Bastila's sleep, and most nights she didn't fall asleep until she passed out from exhaustion. Often, she went to the cafeteria and got coffee or some other hot drink to help soothe her and fight off the dreams.

Then, one night, she stepped into the cafeteria and saw a lone figure sitting at a table. Bastila knew it was Revan immediately. Her stomach lurched. She considered leaving, deciding against it when she saw Revan notice her.

Something in her chest tightened, strangely drawing Bastila to the other woman. Against her better judgment, Bastila headed over to 'Katrina' and asked for permission to sit with her. She steeled herself against the harsh brush with the reality that Revan was gone.

As they talked, Bastila looked into the innocent, unknowing eyes of her former best friend and saw nothing but the false identity of Katrina.

It was strange, hearing the voice that had said "I love you" countless times introducing itself as someone else that remembered nothing of speaking those fateful words.

When Bastila could stand it no longer, she excused herself, heading back to her dorm.

The very next morning, the Sith attacked. Bastila hurried to an escape pod, worrying about Revan the whole time. She climbed into the pod and said a prayer for Revan as it blasted off, hurtling toward Taris.

* * *

After being captured by a gang and being offered as a slave, Bastila found herself on a swoop racing platform. She put on the façade of being incapacitated by the neural disruptor around her head, all the while watching the gangsters race and laugh with each other.

A familiar voice caught Bastila's attention as it called to the race announcer. Bastila's heart leapt into her throat. It was Revan's voice.

Sure enough, Revan won the race, and headed over to the announcer, who began readying Bastila for release.

"Hold it!" the man that had captured Bastila called. "This woman is not fit to be a prize! She isn't a mere officer, she's a Jedi!"

Using the distraction as everyone gasped in shock, Bastila burst out of the cage, killed a gangster, and grabbed his weapon. She smirked at the man, whose jaw was hanging open.

"You were restrained by a neural disruptor," he cried, as if it would incapacitate her again.

"You underestimate the strength of a Jedi's mind, you hairless Wookiee," Bastila replied, brandishing the sword. She nodded at Revan, who stood ready to attack.

A few minutes later, all the gangsters were dead, and Bastila and Revan stood together awkwardly, both breathing hard. Bastila bent and grabbed the man's pack, knowing it contained her things, and turned back to Revan. "Katrina, right?" she asked, pretending to have forgotten the name.

'Katrina' nodded, eyeing Bastila uneasily. She opened her mouth as if to say something, obviously thinking better of it a moment later. "Come on," she said finally. "I've got a hideout ready for us. Carth is there waiting, so we'd better hurry."

Bastila nodded, silently following Katrina out of the swoop platform.

* * *

With the help of a Mandalorian named Canderous, a small T3 droid, a Twi'lek named Mission, and a Wookiee named Zaalbar, Carth, Katrina, and Bastila managed to steal a ship and get away from Taris just as Malak started an attack to destroy the entire planet.

They headed for Dantooine, where they knew they could find sanctuary.

On the way, Katrina pulled Bastila aside and told her about some dreams that she'd been having. They'd had to do with Bastila killing Darth Revan.

Bastila almost panicked, remaining calm as she politely ended the conversation with a promise to talk to the Council about it.

The moment their ship, the _Ebon Hawk, _landed on Dantooine, Bastila raced toward the Council chamber.

All the Masters seemed surprised to see her, but once Bastila told them about Kat's dream, they sent for Katrina as well. Upon hearing more of Katrina's story about her dreams, they quickly began training her as a Jedi.

* * *

Weeks and weeks passed, and Kat finally was able to bring small objects flying into her hands with the Force, and defeat Bastila in a sparring match with vibroswords. The first time Katrina beat her, Kat accidentally landed a slice to her shoulder. Bastila fell back to the ground, blood oozing out of the laceration. Pain was on her face, flashing in her gray eyes as she cried out.

"Bastila!" Kat yelped, her own sword skittering out of her hands. "I'm sorry!"

Bastila managed a grimace up at Katrina. "Nice job," she mumbled, glancing at the wound on her shoulder. "You won."

"The hell with that!! I'm so sorry!!" Katrina cried, kneeling beside her. Kat took the small kolto wash Master Zhar handed her, pouring it onto Bastila's shoulder carefully. Bastila hissed in protest, the fluid stinging the wound at first. Katrina rested a hand on her arm, squeezing it gently for comfort.

Bastila paused, seemingly forgetting her pain for a moment. Something flashed in her eyes as she looked at Kat, disappearing when she heard Zhar clear his throat. Her gaze dropped to the ground, and she pushed Kat away, getting to her feet. She called her sword into her hand with the Force, ready for more. Kat thought she imagined Bastila's hands shaking the slightest bit.

Kat didn't even move to pick up her sword. She was still too surprised at what she'd done. Kat watched Bastila as she played with the sword in her hands, avoiding her gaze.

Zhar stepped between them, shielding Bastila from Katrina's concerned stare. "I think that's quite enough practice for today. You may return to your ship."

Kat nodded, grabbing her sword off the ground and handing it to him. She turned, walking back to the _Ebon Hawk_. Halfway there, Kat noticed Bastila wasn't behind her, and turned to glance over her shoulder. She wasn't anywhere in sight.

Kat headed back through the Enclave, looking for her. She paused when she heard someone crying, slowing her pace considerably. Katrina glanced into the training room, surprised to see Bastila on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest as she cried.

Kat frowned when she saw that Zhar was nowhere nearby. The least he could do would be to comfort one of his own. She pondered for a moment whether or not to go to Bastila and see what was wrong.

Someone behind her coughed softly. Kat wheeled to find Master Zhar frowning at her. "Apprentice, return to your ship," he said firmly.

Kat faltered. "But--"

"She will be all right," Zhar answered her unasked question, still frowning. He could almost put Vrook to shame, Katrina thought with a weak smile. "Apprentice, please." He took her arm, leading Katrina away.

"Master," she began tentatively. "Why is she crying?"

Zhar shook his head. "Another time, Apprentice."

Katrina tore her arm out of his grasp, turning and scowling at him. "Why do all you Jedi keep doing that?!" Kat yelled. "You don't ever tell me anything! I always feel like there's some secret I'm not supposed to know about!"

Zhar hesitated, giving in to Katrina's rant immediately. "Bastila… She had a close friend that died in the Mandalorian wars. She is reminded of her every day, it seems. Sometimes the stress is just too much for her to bear."

Kat's anger and frustration dissolved immediately. Kat could feel her expression soften, and her heart went out to Bastila. She wished there was some way she could help her.

Zhar turned, heading toward the training room. "Back to your ship," he called after Katrina, turning into the room.

Kat sighed, digging her hands into her pockets as she headed to the _Hawk_ reluctantly.

* * *

Bastila felt Zhar touch her shoulder, but she turned away from him. "Master," she whispered. "I can't do this. I keep thinking that she's Revan again, and I want to say something to her so badly…" Bastila swallowed, sniffling. "But I can't. This is so hard…"

Zhar put a comforting arm around her shoulders, the gesture very paternal. "Bastila, listen to me. The Force is telling me that you and Katrina will have a large part to play, and that you will play it together goes without question. You _must_ learn how to deal with your emotions."

Bastila sighed, looking up at him through her tears. "I know, Master. I'm trying. But Revan was my closest friend, and it broke my heart when she left to go to war."

Zhar nodded wisely. "Then you will be stronger for it, and you will not let her fall again."

"Is that an order, or a prediction?" Bastila asked dryly, wiping her eyes on the backs of her hands.

Zhar chuckled. "Take it as you will, Padawan."

* * *

I know, it all went pretty fast. I wanted to get past Taris and into the real meat and potatoes of the story. I never liked playing through Taris; it takes too long and I personally would rather be a Jedi any day. =]

Hope you're liking this so far!


	6. Chapter 6

Somehow, word got to the Council of Bastila and Revan's love affair of the days before the war. Bastila assumed someone had seen them, and waited until the perfect time to unleash their story.

Bastila was thankful that the story had only gotten to the Council; it wasn't likely to spread from there. Her mood was ruined when Vrook sent for her.

She arrived at the Council chambers, already irritated. She harbored a certain hate for the man that she believed had caused Revan to leave for the war. If it hadn't been for him, maybe none of this would have happened.

Vrook leveled his cold gaze at her. "Padawan," he greeted disdainfully.

"Master," Bastila returned in kind. "You sent for me?"

Vrook nodded slowly. "I have received news of your past. With Revan."

Bastila made sure that no emotion crossed her face.

"I have heard from an eyewitness that you two were… romantically involved." He watched her for a moment. "Do you deny it?"

"No, sir," Bastila replied in a tone that Revan would have been proud of. "I loved her."

"Love is a dark emotion," Vrook barked. "'If you were 'in love' with Revan, then--"

"So what if I was in love with Revan?" Bastila snapped, unable to contain herself. "She loved me, too!"

Vrook scowled. "Love leads to the dark side!"

"On the contrary, Master, falling in love doesn't lead to the dark side! It lights up your life and lifts your soul!" Bastila fought off tears as she repeated Revan's words. "I know that for a fact! A wise Jedi told me that once."

"A wise Jedi?" Vrook scoffed. "Who dared say such a thing? Master Bindo?"

"It was Revan! She was wise beyond her years, Master! She saw things about human life that even you can't see!" Bastila wiped her eyes, still furious. "And I loved her with all my heart! And now she's gone, and it's all because of you! You wouldn't let her leave to fight!"

"Because I knew that she'd fall," Vrook pointed out triumphantly.

"It wasn't her fighting that made her fall!" Bastila exploded, defending her lost friend. "It was because _you _wouldn't let her leave, and when I tried to convince her to stay, we fought! She was scared to come back because she thought I hated her! And while she was out there hiding, she fell!"

"Then it's your fault!" Vrook bellowed, shaking his head in disgust as Bastila began sobbing. "Revan fell because you provoked her. And now Revan is gone, Padawan. Get used to it." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

Bastila swore at him under her breath, trying in vain to calm herself. For a moment, she longed for Revan, to feel a comforting hug, and for soothing words full of love to calm her down.

_What's wrong? _Katrina asked through their bond. She had discovered their ability to communicate not too long before, and had practiced speaking through the bond with Bastila in case they needed to communicate in an emergency without anyone knowing. _You're crying._

_I'm fine, _Bastila replied. _I just… had a fight with someone. _

_Are you sure you're okay? _Katrina sounded worried.

_Yeah, I'm fine, Kat. _Bastila felt Katrina checking to see where Bastila was through their bond, then hurrying toward her. Bastila didn't say anything to stop Kat, instead dropping to the ground and wrapping her arms around herself. Part of her thought that maybe, just maybe, if Katrina saw her crying, she'd remember everything and become Revan again.

Bastila sighed, drying her eyes. She was being preposterous and she knew it. Revan, the one she loved, was as good as dead.

Just then, the door opened and Katrina stepped in. She was at Bastila's side in a second.

"I… I just figured you might want some company," Kat explained uneasily. "I'll leave if you want me to."

Bastila shook her head, sniffling absently. "Please don't."

Kat seemed to relax a little, finally smiling sympathetically. She said nothing, aware of the fact that Bastila didn't feel like talking. After a moment, she heard Bastila break down again and wrapped her arms around Bastila's shoulders, unknowingly giving Bastila just what she'd needed.

* * *

Bastila woke early the next morning, images flashing in her head. She looked over at Katrina, noticing the frown and sweat on her face. Bastila leapt out of bed, grabbing her robe and heading to the Council. She and Katrina had shared a dream once before, but this time, Bastila was sure it was more of a memory.

The Council was disturbed. That Katrina was having such memories could mean that Revan's mind was beginning to heal itself. That could mean that Revan would return.

Bastila could understand the Council's distress, but her heart suddenly perked up. Revan might come back? She voiced the question to the Council, barely able to keep her voice from shaking.

"The dark Revan," Zhar corrected. "When Revan fell, she corrupted her mind. All the Jedi healing in the universe can't heal the dark side's corruption."

"But then why isn't she dark side now?" Bastila inquired, trying not to get her hopes up.

The entire Council hesitated, but Vrook broke the silence with a superior glare as he spoke. "It's because we programmed her with a light side identity, Padawan. You'd do well to remember that."

Bastila stiffened, trying to hide her irritation with Vrook. She was still angry with him for the confrontation they'd had previously.

Just then, Katrina walked in. She looked scared and confused. Her eyes flicked to Bastila and relief flashed across her face. "You already told them?" she asked Bastila softly, stepping up beside her companion.

Bastila nodded, studying Katrina out of the corner of her eye. She had pulled her hair up in a quick ponytail, the old Revan's preferred style when she'd needed her hair out of her face. Katrina's body posture showed that she had something to say, the same stance Revan had taken when she had had something on her mind. Bastila forced herself to pay attention, trying not to think about the similarities between Kat and Revan.

"You both must go to the ruins and find what it was that you saw," Zhar said after Katrina had described the dream in great detail. "When you find what Revan and Malak found, return to us and tell us. You are dismissed."

Bastila and Katrina turned and left, heading back to the _Ebon Hawk_. They grabbed their lightsabers and changed into their Jedi tunics, heading back out and onto the plains.

They worked together like clockwork when the odd group of kath hounds attacked them, neatly cutting all of them down. Bastila watched how Katrina used her lightsaber out of the corner of her eye, surprised at the grace with which her companion moved. Kat used the same form as Revan, and her body remembered the motions, adding to her grace.

"You all right?" Bastila asked breathlessly when they killed the last hound. She wiped sweat off her brow, glancing at Katrina.

Katrina nodded, staring at something in the distance.

Bastila followed her gaze curiously, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the place she and Revan had first kissed. Bastila quickly turned her gaze away, fighting off a sudden wave of emotion. She heard Kat moving, and turned back to see what Katrina was doing.

Kat had walked to the exact spot they had kissed and dropped to her knees, playing with the blades of grass absently. She inhaled the smell of the plains, looking up at Bastila with a strange emotion on her face. "Bastila," she murmured. "This place is very… weird. Like something important happened here." She beckoned Bastila over, silently asking her to see what she thought.

Bastila went to Katrina's side and sat, closing her eyes. Images of herself and Revan flashed through her mind, though she blocked them from going through her bond with Kat. She felt her heart flutter in her chest as she remembered the feelings that had revealed themselves that day. "You're right, Kat," she replied softly, opening her eyes as her heart temporarily grew a little lighter. "Something important did happen."

"Do you think it has to do with Revan and Malak?"

Bastila smiled sadly and shook her head. "No, it doesn't. We'd be able to tell if it was. This place… it holds something else." She looked up at the sky, imagining that for a single moment she was with Revan again. Finally she sighed, getting to her feet. "Come on," she said, offering a hand to Katrina. "We'd better get going."

Katrina took Bastila's hand and stood, staring at her for a long moment. She blushed when she realized that she was still holding Bastila's hand, releasing it immediately. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I was just thinking about something."

Bastila felt her cheeks grow slightly pink, managing a friendly smile at Katrina. "It's all right. Now, on to the ruins?"

Kat looked grateful for the subject change, nodding and falling into step beside Bastila.

A strange thought suddenly occurred to Bastila. What if, when the Council had reprogrammed Revan's mind, they'd made her straight? And what if, if Revan came back, she decided she liked herself better straight? Bastila's heart sank suddenly. Their pilot, Carth Onasi, had been eyeing Kat ever since she'd met them on Taris. What if…?

Bastila sighed, clearing the thoughts from her mind. As far as she knew, Katrina was a permanent replacement of Revan, with some Revan-like characteristics.

Finally, they arrived at the ruins, after walking the two miles in total silence.

Bastila and Kat exchanged a nervous glance, heading into the dark stone ruins.

"This must be it," Bastila said quietly as they entered the small chamber. "What they found." Her eyes were fixed on the stone sculpture at the far end of the chamber.

Katrina stepped toward it, walking as though in a trance. When she reached it, she rested her hand on the stone. It jumped to life beneath her tough, hissing and opening itself.

Kat jumped away, obviously startled. Bastila, at the same time, darted toward Katrina protectively.

The artifact began glowing, erecting a holographic map in the center of itself.

"It's a Star Map," Katrina breathed when Bastila stepped up beside her. "One of them, anyway."

Bastila raised an eyebrow, glancing at Kat out of the corner of her eye. She was silent, realizing that Katrina was remembering something from her past as Revan. Bastila most certainly didn't want to interrupt that.

"We shouldn't have come here," Kat whispered in a rougher tone. "Malak, this is bad. This thing, whatever it is, is full of dark power."

Bastila frowned. "Kat?"

"Besides," Katrina reasoned, apparently not hearing Bastila. "Bastila would hate me even more that she already does." She sighed, having heard a response in her mind. "Fine. Let's go find the others, then. But, I swear to the Force, Malak, if something goes wrong, I'll kill you."

"Kat!" Bastila called, touching Katrina's shoulder. She had called her Kat in case her hunch was correct: Katrina was reliving a memory.

Katrina shuddered, blinking. She looked to Bastila after a moment, looking confused. The expression on Kat's face assured Bastila that her suspicion was accurate.

Bastila reached into Kat's mind and calmed her, easing the confusion in the other woman's mind. She watched Katrina for a moment, struggling to accept the new person inhabiting Revan's body. "Should we go back to the Council and tell them about this thing?" she asked, nodding toward the Star Map.

Kat nodded, glancing at the old piece of technology uneasily. Finally, she sighed and glanced at Bastila, nodding again. "Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

Upon hearing Kat and Bastila's story, the Council gave the two young Jedi a mission: to find all the Star Maps and, ultimately, the Star Forge. The Council believed that the Star Forge was Malak's lair, and hoped that by working together, Bastila and Katrina could defeat Malak.

Bastila retreated to her dorm and packed her things. She paused as she stuck the last thing in her bag, looking around for a moment. She had many cherished memories in that small space, most of them with Revan. Bastila sighed, deciding that it was for the best to leave. Maybe she could get away from all the painful memories of Revan once and for all.

Something at the back of her mind told Bastila that she was forgetting something. She glanced around the room again, finding Revan's necklace on her dresser immediately. She called it into her hand with the Force, gazing at it for a long moment. She latched it around her neck, smiling as the cold pendant rested over her heart like a shield of Revan's love that would protect her throughout her journey. Bastila touched the pendant, her heart aching for Revan's presence.

"I love you, Revan," she whispered, grabbing her things and heading to the _Ebon Hawk._

* * *

Bastila joined Carth in the cockpit, helping him plot the course to their first destination: Manaan. Once Carth had the ship under control, Bastila excused herself and left the cockpit. She walked through the commons, smiling as she saw Mission giggling and Kat groaning, laying down a hand of Pazaak cards.

"You're horrible, Mission," Kat chided, shaking her head and grinning.

Mission laughed again, noticing Bastila standing nearby. "Oh, hey, Bastila. Care for a game?"

Bastila shook her head. "No thanks. Not after seeing you kick Kat's tail!"

Mission snickered, perking up suddenly. "Oh, by the way, I've been meaning to ask you something, Bastila. Have you ever used the Force for fun, like to trip someone that was bugging you or something?"

Bastila shook her head, putting on a very noble façade as she said, "Of course not, Mission! That's a preposterous way to use the Force!! Only a child like you would even think of such a thing!"

Mission rolled her eyes. "Not you, too! Carth was calling me a kid and sayin' that I--" Mission tumbled out of her chair, falling flat on her bottom. The chair, which had been pulled out from underneath her, slid back into its original position.

"Hey!" Mission yelped, looking very ridiculous as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "That wasn't funny!"

Kat burst into laughter, clutching her sides as she gasped for breath.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mission," Bastila replied, extending a hand to the teen and helping her up. "Do try to be less clumsy in the future."

Mission glared at Bastila, more embarrassed than anything. She muttered something about playing Pazaak with Zaalbar, grabbing the Pazaak cards and heading to Zaalbar's area of the ship.

"Oh man, Bastila," Kat giggled. "That was great."

Bastila grinned mischievously, allowing herself a chuckle. "I couldn't resist. She set herself up so well."

Kat nodded, a stray giggle escaping her lips. She paused, her eyebrows arching as a strange emotion flickered across her face. She got to her feet, heading toward Bastila. "What is that?"

Bastila followed Kat's gaze to the pendant hanging from her neck. "This?" she asked innocently, touching the pendant.

Kat nodded, a confused frown on her face. "Yeah. Where'd you get it?"

Bastila sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "I… my mother sent it to me on my fifteenth birthday. It was supposed to heal our relationship, but it didn't really work. I stuffed it in a drawer for a few years, until…"

Kat finally looked up into Bastila's eyes. "Until what?"

"Until I decided to give it away," Bastila replied, studying the floor near her feet with sudden interest.

"Hmm." Kat studied the necklace for a moment. "I think she left it for you on purpose. Like she knew you'd need it after she was gone."

Bastila's heart skipped a beat and she looked up at Kat. "What?" she asked, feeling her cheeks pale as her eyebrows shot up.

"Your friend," Kat explained, looking embarrassed. "I… I mean, well, it just seems like you gave it to _her_. You act like you and your friend were close. I…" She sighed, looking away. "Sorry. I just get carried away sometimes. I imagined you and your friend being really close and sharing everything and all that."

Bastila shook her head, reaching out and touching Kat's shoulder. "It's all right," she murmured. "You were right, about me and her. And you just gave me a lot to think about, and I'm… I'm very grateful for it."

Kat managed a weak, surprised smile, looking relieved. She'd obviously been worried that she'd offended Bastila in some way. Bastila reassured Kat again that it was all right, giving her a friendly smile.

After a moment, Bastila excused herself to the women's dorm, saying that she was going to meditate. Instead, she perched herself on the edge of the bunk she'd chosen. She unlatched the necklace and stared at the pendant. What if, somehow, Katrina had revealed the reason Revan left behind such a special object? Revan hadn't ever taken the necklace off once she'd received it. Had something in Revan's broken mind been triggered and revealed the reason to Bastila?

Bastila brought the pendant to her lips and kissed it gently, feeling as though it was her only connection to Revan. As she hung it around her neck again, she could almost imagine Revan's presence settling around her and comforting her as only Revan could.

* * *

Yes, I did some Vrook-bashing. I never liked that old man. And what are you thinking about Bastila's character?


	7. Chapter 7

Once they arrived on Manaan, Kat insisted on venturing out alone. She used the excuse that the Selkath wouldn't let anything happen to her because of their strict no-violence laws. She left alone, much to Bastila and Carth's malign.

Bastila shook her head at Kat's recklessness, grinning as she realized how much like Revan Kat was acting. She headed away from the loading ramp, passing the workshop where Canderous Ordo, a Mandalorian that had aided them on Taris, sat cleaning a large gun.

"Well, if it isn't the Jedi mascot," he called without looking up.

Bastila paused in the hall and went back to the doorway. "I beg your pardon?"

Canderous looked up and grinned. "You're the mascot of the Jedi, princess. Don't tell me you didn't know that."

Bastila shook her head, frowning at the older man.

"Yeah, ever since Revan died," Canderous said, a far away look in his eyes. "The Jedi were scrambling around for a new symbol to give your Republic hope. And you, what with that 'Battle Meditation' and all, were the perfect pick."

"Shut up!" Bastila seethed, her hands balling into fists at her side. "I am not the Jedi mascot, and besides--" She stopped suddenly, a red flag going up in her mind. Revan's pendant was suddenly cold against her chest, as though Revan was there and telling her to calm down.

Canderous raised an eyebrow. "What're you trying to say?"

"Nothing," Bastila replied icily, forcing herself to calm down as she repeated the Jedi code in her mind.

"Yeah, right," Canderous snorted, sitting back and straightening up. "You sayin' you didn't kill Revan, princess?"

"Enough, Mandalorian," Bastila growled, spinning on her heel and leaving the area.

"Never thought I'd see the day!" Canderous crowed. "An angry Jedi!"

* * *

The surprised shouts of the crew brought Bastila out of her meditative state immediately. She leapt up form the floor and hurried toward the commons. She got there just in time to see Kat collapse.

"Kat!" Mission cried, standing there as though frozen.

Bastila's heart leapt into her throat. She smelled the scent of burnt flesh and saw blood immediately. She began calming her pounding heart, pushing past the rest of the crew and kneeling beside Kat. She rested her hands on Kat's forehead and began Force-healing her.

The rest of the crew watched in awe as a blue-green glow emanated from beneath Bastila's hands. They all heaved a sigh of relief when Kat groaned and tried to sit up.

Bastila pulled her hands away, grabbing Kat's shoulder as she swayed. "You all right?" she asked Kat softly.

"Oh, I'm peachy," Kat replied dryly, managing an eye roll.

Bastila finally allowed herself to sigh with relief. That was the Kat she'd come to know. She helped Kat to her feet, leading her to the medbay. Once there, she helped Kat onto the bed and closed the door. "What in the galaxy happened?" she asked, grabbing a few medpacs.

Kat settled herself back against the pillow, grinning weakly. "Well, I had to break into a Sith base, and--"

"You what?!" Bastila repeated, knowing her face was flashing with shock. She paused in what she was doing for a moment, allowing the statement to sink in.

"The Republic has a sub that can get me underwater where the Star Map is, but they need me to get the automated diving protocols for them. The Sith stole them, I guess, so I had to go and get them back." Kat paused, frowning as she shifted on the bed. "I got arrested for the violence, and just after they cleared me they sent me back here. I didn't think to ask for a medpac."

"Which explains why you were passed out on the floor the moment I walked in." Bastila shook her head. "I suppose you're going back to get the protocols?"

Kat grinned. "No need." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a data pad emblazoned with the Republic symbol.

"Very nice," Bastila commented, injecting a medpac near a slice on Kat's leg, grabbing another and examining the wounds to Kat's abdomen. She realized that she'd have to remove Kat's tunic to treat the wounds and blushed.

Kat feigned shock. "Did I just hear a compliment from you?"

Bastila, startled out of her thoughts, blinked and stuck her tongue out at Kat. "It's not that rare," she shot back.

"No, but it's just the way you said it," Katrina replied with a grin. "You sounded so pained."

"Did I?" Bastila asked, looking up at Kat. "I'm sorry. I'm a little preoccupied," she added, gesturing to the wounds scattered along Kat's torso.

Kat chuckled, reading Bastila's mind. She found the next procedure in the forefront of Bastila's mind, realizing that she'd have to remove her tunic. She grinned when Bastila blushed again. "I'll do it if you want me to," she murmured.

Bastila frowned down at the wounds, opening and closing her mouth again. She looked up at Kat, who shrugged weakly. "I…"

Kat held out her hand, waiting for Bastila to give her the medpac.

Bastila, however, noticed the almost imperceptible tremble in Kat's hand, knowing it was from exhaustion and weakness. "No," she told Kat. "I'll do it. You need rest."

Kat only nodded, reaching down to pull her tunic over her head. Kat's arms wouldn't cooperate, so Bastila helped and laid the tunic on the chair that sat nearby. The blaster wounds, she saw, were quite literally all over Kat's torso, most of them bleeding or looking very painful.

Kat shivered and winced at the sudden exposure to the cooler air. "Can you knock me out for this?"

Bastila nodded, turning and grabbing an injection.

"Don't try anything sexual while I'm out," Kat mumbled, grinning as Bastila injected the medicine. "But you know I can't help it that I turn you on."

Bastila's jaw dropped, receiving a weak chuckle in return. "Kat!" she squeaked. "I--"

"S'okay," Kat said as the medication kicked in. "Jus' teasin." Her eyes dropped closed as she succumbed to the medication. Just before she went under, she stuck her tongue out at Bastila.

Bastila laughed softly, shaking her head at Kat's words. She turned back to Kat's wounds, trying to ignore the ache in her chest as she got to work healing Kat.

* * *

When Kat did venture out again, she sheepishly obeyed Bastila's orders and took Carth and Mission with her. They weren't heard from again for almost a full week.

When they arrived back, Star Map coordinates in hand, they all smelled like rotting corpses and fish. Mission knew it, and called dibs on the shower first.

Canderous immediately took to telling Carth that his new cologne, eau de dead Selkath, would really 'knock the ladies out'. Carth turned red with embarrassment

Mission and Kat both burst into helpless laughter, which Canderous soon joined in.

Bastila laughed, hiding her smile behind her hand.

Carth stomped off to another area of the ship, while Mission headed for the shower. Canderous returned to the workshop, where he could be heard tinkering with a swoop bike. That left Kat and Bastila alone in the commons.

Bastila was at a loss for words, watching Kat uncertainly.

Kat wrinkled her nose. "I know, I stink. You don't have to say anything."

Bastila grinned, pretending to zip her lips closed.

A mischievous grin flashed across Kat's face. She opened her arms wide and started for Bastila. "Want a hug?"

Bastila leapt away, crying out in protest.

Kat burst into laughter, which Bastila soon joined in. Just then, Mission walked out into the commons, looking fresh and clean. "Your turn, Kat," she said, grinning. "Man, I feel better."

Kat, still chuckling, headed toward the shower.

* * *

With the Manaan Star Map coordinates plugged into the ship's database, the _Ebon Hawk_ and her crew headed to Kashyyyk. The hyperspace route, according to Carth, would take a few days to travel, so the crew settled in for a long trip.

Bastila was once again plagued by nightmares after her close encounter with Kat. After one such nightmare, she got up and headed out of the dorms and into the ship. She made her way to the cockpit, sitting in the pilot's chair and watching the stars zip by.

For a few minutes, Bastila was completely awed by the beauty of space, losing her sense of time as she stared out the windows and watched.

"Hey, Bastila," Kat murmured sleepily, walking in and plopping down into the copilot's seat.

"Kat!" Bastila yelped, jumping. "I didn't know you were up!"

"I wasn't," Kat replied with a grin. "But something told me you were up and stressed, so I figured I'd better come and make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," Bastila protested immediately. "You can go back to bed."

"Oh, yeah, you sound perfectly okay," Kat retorted sarcastically. "What's wrong?"

Bastila fingered the pendant hanging around her neck, sighing as she resigned herself to giving in to Katrina's stubborn streak. The one she had inherited from Revan. "I don't know for sure, Kat. I've got a lot of things on my mind."

"Yeah?" Kat prompted, curling up in the chair. "Like what?"

"Just things," Bastila replied evasively.

"Oh come on, Bastila! We're friends, aren't we?" Kat sounded exasperated. "You can trust me!"

Bastila paused for just a moment. She hadn't even considered that she and Kat, the stranger in Revan's body, might be friends. She thought for a moment, finally deciding that might be good for their mission to befriend Kat. "Well," she conceded. "On Manaan, I left the ship for a little while to buy some supplies. But while I was out, a man approached me and asked if I was Bastila."

Kat's eyes flashed with concern.

"I told him I was, and he said that he recognized me. I thought it was some sort of pick up line, but it turns out," Bastila added before Kat could interject; Kat looked horrified. "My mother is on Tatooine, showing off pictures of me and telling stories about me. She's looking for me, I think."

Kat paused, watching Bastila carefully. "Do you want to see her again?"

Bastila shrugged, staring at the floor. "I don't know. I just…"

"Don't hate her, Bastila," Kat murmured. "It's not right."

Bastila bit her lip and looked up at Kat. "I don't," she replied. "Not anymore." _Not since you asked me not to, Revan, _she added silently.

Kat grinned. "Good."

They sat in companionable silence for a while, Bastila thinking and phrasing a confession in her head. She glanced at Kat, who was watching her expectantly.

"Kat, I…" Bastila paused. "I think I need to say something."

Kat settled herself into her seat, preparing for a lecture about her conduct on Manaan. "All right, shoot."

"I… I've come to depend on you. I know I haven't exactly been the best person, keeping everyone, especially you, at arm's length. I'm truly sorry for that. And I'll try to be a better friend," she finished hastily, glad to have gotten all the words out.

Kat looked surprised. "Oh, that? Aw, that's okay, Bastila. Don't worry about it."

"I already did," Bastila replied. "And I'm sorry anyway."

Kat grinned. "Fine then, stubborn. It's okay."

"'Stubborn'? Ha! You're one to talk!" Bastila laughed.

Kat giggled, sticking her tongue out at Bastila.

They laughed for a few minutes, still grinning. But suddenly Kat grew serious. "Hey, Bastila, is there a crystal cave on Dantooine?" she asked softly.

The question was so out of the blue that Bastila merely gaped at Kat, only remembering to answer when Katrina called her name. "Yes, there is. How did you know about that?" Bastila asked, knowing that after she'd been injured by the kinrath, no one was allowed near the crystal cave, and it was forbidden to speak of it.

Kat frowned, glancing at Bastila uneasily. "I… I don't know. I just had a dream the other night. You and me were in a dark cave, and I could see a soft glow, like crystals would make, up ahead of us. There was a bunch of squealing, and you yelled something…"

"And then?" Bastila prompted, her pulse quickening.

"I woke up," Kat sighed, obviously disgusted that she hadn't been able to see any more. "But it was so weird, Bas," she continued, not realizing that she'd shortened Bastila's name the way Revan had. "It was almost like a vision. The dream was so clear…"

The back of Bastila's neck prickled when Katrina said 'Bas'. "Have you had any other dreams like that?" she asked.

Kat shrugged. "Off and on. They're all really clear… Should I be worried?"

Bastila shook her head, putting a reassuring smile on her face. "No, Kat, I think it's fine. I'm not sure why you're dreaming about the two of us and a bunch of strange noises," she lied, blushing when she realized how she had sounded.

Kat grinned mischievously.

"But it's just dreams," Bastila finished quickly, frowning at Kat. "You've got a dirty mind, I'll have you know."

"Hard not to," Kat replied. "Especially when I'm sitting next to a gorgeous woman in a nightgown that I can almost see through. It's all I can do not to stare!"

Bastila immediately crossed her arms over her chest, her cheeks flushing a deep red.

Kat laughed at Bastila's embarrassment. "Just kidding." She threw Bastila a grin as she got up, stretching and yawning. "Anyway, I think I'll head back to bed. G'night, Bas."

Bastila stuck her tongue out at Kat. "Good night," she replied, allowing herself a small smile at Kat's antics. She was definitely inheriting Revan's sense of humor.

* * *

They had many more late night encounters, talking and growing closer and closer. Bastila found herself drawn to Kat, though not quite in the same was a she had been to Revan. When Kat went out on Kashyyyk, even though Zaalbar and Carth were with her, Bastila worried.

When Kat came back with Carth, Zaalbar was nowhere in sight. Katrina regretfully informed the crew that Zaalbar had been taken prisoner by his brother, the leader of the Wookiees. She was the first to comfort Mission, acting almost like an older sister.

When Kat brought back an old retired Jedi Master, Jolee Bindo, Bastila was taken back to the days of her teenage years. Shortly before she had met Revan, Jolee had been fired from the Order for teaching his Padawans, Revan included, that love was not a dark emotion.

Bastila knew right away that Jolee remembered Revan, and pulled him aside the first chance she got. She told him of the Council's plan for Katrina, and that Revan was 'dead'. Jolee, as it turned out, had noticed right away that Revan wasn't Revan, and had pretended not to know her, much to Bastila's relief.

Soon after, Kat left with Jolee and Mission, returning with the Star Map coordinates and Zaalbar a few days later. Katrina immediately went to meditate with Bastila, instead talking to her and telling Bastila about the battle for Zaalbar's life.

As the days wore on, Bastila realized that they were off to Tatooine, where her mother was. She sought Kat's presence more, drawing comfort from the friendship they had developed. She found herself flirting back and forth with Kat, then wondering if she was betraying Revan's memory.

She felt like Revan was still a bigger part of her than anyone else could ever be. Besides, it was more than likely that when they finally encountered Malak, someone was going to die. And if she couldn't have Revan, or if Katrina died, then Bastila would make sure that she brought Malak down with her when she herself died at his hands.

Bastila battled with the emotions in her chest nearly every moment that she wasn't doing anything. Late at night, she found herself crying and wishing that by some stroke of luck Revan would return. Every time she spoke to Kat she felt the connection between them and felt betrayal growing in the pit of her stomach. She began arguing with herself constantly, unaware that she was driving everyone on the _Hawk_ crazy.

Katrina caught Bastila and pulled her aside on afternoon, leading Bastila to the women's dorm. She was obviously exasperated already, which surprised Bastila. Bastila opened her mouth to ask Kat what was the matter when Kat exploded.

"What is your problem?!" Kat cried. "You keep ignoring everyone and you're always talking to yourself. And don't think Mission and I haven't heard you crying late at night when you think we're asleep. Everyone's worried!! _I'm _worried," she added in a gentler tone. "What's wrong, Bas?"

Bastila hesitated. "I'm not sure anything's wrong," she said slowly. "But…" She felt Kat stepping closer to her, felt the sudden desire for contact rolling off of Kat, immediately stepping away. "No. This is wrong." Bastila shook her head, forcing away the sudden temptation to tell Kat everything. "Listen, I know we're friends, but anything you may feel beyond that…" The feelings of betrayal flared up in Bastila's chest again, and she grabbed for the first thing that popped into her mind, using it as an excuse. "It's all because of the bond."

Kat looked confused. "What?"

"You know," Bastila prompted, making things up as she went along. "The way we've been flirting. That… attraction we have, it's just because of the bond. There's a certain intimacy that comes with an attachment like that, and that's what the attraction is."

Katrina paled a little, her green eyes darkening. "But, Bastila, I thought… Well, I thought you… You were flirting back! What was I supposed to think?!"

Bastila ignored Kat's question. "I was, but I realized my mistake, and I'm owning up to it. You just can't face the truth! We're Jedi and this kind of thing can't happen. I had to be the adult and step up to say something, because you just kept pressing forward." She drew a breath, telling herself it was for the best as she tried to calm her pounding heart. She had to nip the attraction in the bud for Revan's sake.

"So, what? I suppose all this was set up by the Council as a way to test you?!" Kat snapped, suddenly looking angry and very hurt. "Part of a way to help get you promoted to Masterhood?!"

Bastila wanted to kick herself as she saw the pain in Kat's eyes. She knew she should have thought it out better, because she definitely didn't want to cause her friend any pain. Bastila felt guilt wrap around her chest and force her heart down into her stomach. "Of course not! I--"

"Bastila," Katrina interrupted, a pleading tone in her voice making itself evident. "Ever since I met you on the _Endar Spire _that night, I've felt like I've known you for years. Something just… clicked. You're my best friend, Bas, and I can't help it that I've got feelings for you. It's like I've always cared about you, and for some reason, I can't stop caring. I may not be as trained in the Force as you, but I can still tell that you feel the same through our bond."

Bastila paled, unable to say anything. She stared into Kat's green eyes, captivated by the confusion and caring swirling in their depths. She wasn't aware of Katrina taking a few steps closer to her, closing the distance between them, enraptured in the swirling green ocean of Kat's gaze.

"Bastila, please, I want to go face Malak, but I don't want to do it alone. I want you there at my side, because I feel like I can do anything if you're there to help me. I can't do any of this without you, because without you, I'm nothing. Bas, I love you too much to take this crap about our bond. There's no denying it. I love you, I think you love me, and we have to do this together. I can help keep you strong, if that's what you're scared of, but please don't deny us both of something that will only make us stronger."

Bastila gazed at Kat, bemused by her friend's sudden closeness to her. She tried to protest to Kat's words, finding it impossible to form a coherent sentence. She wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow she ended up in Kat's arms with Katrina kissing her fervently. Bastila melted into the embrace, unable to stop herself from returning the kiss.

Kat broke away, gasping for breath. "Please," she moaned. "Don't tell me that something that feels that right can be wrong. It can't be."

Bastila didn't answer, instead reaching up for another kiss. Something inside let her imagination run wild, and for a few blissful moments, she was with Revan again.

Footsteps came up the hallway, the sound bringing Bastila back to reality. She broke away from Kat, pushing the other woman away.

Just as Kat regained her balance halfway across the dorm, Mission walked in. She looked between Kat and Bastila, confusion on her face.

"Hi, Mission," Kat said lamely, still staring at Bastila.

"Did I interrupt something?" Mission asked, obviously having not seen or thought that anything suspicious going on.

Bastila shook her head immediately. "No, we were just talking about our mission."

"Oh." Mission seemed to accept the answer, heading to her bunk. She grabbed her Pazaak deck out from under the pillow, holding it up. "I was just getting this. Carth and I decided we wanted to play… You guys wanna join us?"

Bastila and Kat shook their heads simultaneously.

"Well," Mission said uncomfortably. "All right." She glanced between the two Jedi uncertainly, shaking her head and walking out of the dorm.

Bastila and Kat watched her go, turning to look at each other a moment later. Kat looked uneasy, though her eyes contained a glimmer of hope for things that could be. Bastila pressed her lips together into a firm line, shaking her head violently. She spun on her heel and ran out of the room, Kat's "Bastila, wait!" ringing in her ears.


	8. Chapter 8

For nearly a week afterward, Bastila avoided being alone with Katrina, knowing that Kat would want to talk about their encounter. She made a conscious effort to be around other members of the crew at all times, finding that she'd begun to let down the wall she'd kept up around her emotions. She and Mission played Pazaak, quickly becoming friends. Mission had the same sense of humor that Revan had, which surprised Bastila, but also kept her smiling.

Bastila and Mission began sharing their stories, finding that they both had relatives that were lost and looking for them. Mission's brother Griff had left her on Taris years before the _Endar Spire _reached its orbit. It was even more surprising to find that both Griff and Bastila's mother had last been seen on Tatooine. Mission immediately promised that she'd help Bastila find her mother, no matter what had happened to Griff.

Just then, Kat stepped into the cargo bay, where Bastila and Mission were, glancing between them for a moment. "We're on Tatooine," she said quietly, her gaze lingering on Bastila's face.

Mission blanched nervously, getting to her feet and heading to a footlocker that contained her armor and weapons. When she was equipped a moment later, she headed to Kat's side, glancing at Bastila. A frown appeared on the Twi'lek's face. "Aren't you coming to look for your mom, Bastila?"

Bastila avoided Kat's gaze, shaking her head briskly. "No, I don't think so. I have my doubts as to whether or not she's actually on Tatooine."

Mission looked unconvinced, and Bastila could sense Kat's disappointment through their bond. She shook her head again for good measure, watching as Kat and Mission left to outline their plan to the rest of the crew. She sank down on the floor, her back to the door as she closed her eyes. She sank into her subconscious, calming the nerves that had formed in the pit of her stomach.

Not very focused on her meditation, Bastila heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She knew by the way the person paused in the doorway that it was Kat. Bastila kept her eyes closed, feigning deep meditation.

Katrina knelt at Bastila's side, sighing and gently tucking some of Bastila's hair behind her ear. "We'll try to find her, Bas," she whispered. "I promise."

The peace that Bastila had been feeling vanished immediately. She forced herself to remain still, as if she hadn't heard. She heard Kat's defeated sigh, felt Kat touch her shoulder gently, and listened as Kat got up and left.

Bastila remained in the dorm even after Kat and Mission left the ship. Something in her chest ached. She knew that she might see her mother again, but she knew that it was something Revan had wanted for her, and had pushed her toward doing. Revan had always despised the restrictions on family connections, especially since Bastila's mother had made an effort. Bastila had wanted Revan with her when she would meet her mother, though she had never said it. Somehow, Revan had known anyway, and had promised to be there for her.

"Oh, Revan," Bastila whispered, burying her face in her hands. She hated how foreign the name sounded; she hadn't even said the name in almost a month. "Help. I need you."

After spending a few minutes warding off tears and painful memories, Bastila forced herself to meditate again, throwing herself into the calm of the Force. As she sank into her trance, time lost its meaning. What felt like minutes could have been years.

What was only a few hours later, Bastila sensed Kat's presence, breaking out of her meditation as she heard Kat call her name. She opened her eyes, orienting herself before glancing at Kat. Bastila raised her eyebrows, asking the question without speaking.

Kat nodded, looking weary, as though something was on her mind. "Bas… I, uh, I think you should come see her."

* * *

Bastila stiffened as she laid eyes on her mother, who was standing across the cantina. She felt her heart sink, the old hatred of her mother slowly creeping back into her mind. Once again, she wished Revan were there with her.

As if on cue, Kat took Bastila's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm here, Bas," she murmured reassuringly, her voice momentarily taking on a Revan-like tone.

Something in Bastila's chest unclenched and she managed an uncomfortable grin. She nodded once, drawing a deep breath. She didn't notice that Kat was still holding her hand, only aware of it when Kat let go.

Just then, Bastila's mother noticed them. She nodded a greeting to Kat, her gaze falling on Bastila a moment later.

"Bastila, is that you?" The woman sounded incredulous. She turned her gaze back on Kat. "I thought you were lying to me!"

Kat shook her head, glancing at Bastila out of the corner of her eye. "No, ma'am, Helena. I really am traveling with your daughter."

Helena looked shocked, turning back to Bastila. A smile flickered across her face as she studied Bastila. "It's been so long, Bastila… You've grown into such a beautiful young woman. It's hard to believe that just a few years ago you were my little girl."

"It's me all grown up, Mother," Bastila replied stiffly, her tone on the verge of mocking.

Helena's face fell. "I see. All these years, and you still don't care about your mother." She sighed. "Well, I suppose I should feel honored that a Jedi took the time to come see an old woman. After all, family doesn't mean anything to your group."

"My group?!" Bastila repeated indignantly. "You sent me off there on purpose!!"

"Only to give you a better life," Helena shot back, her eyes narrowing.

Bastila snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. Just as she was about to retort, she felt Kat's presence in her mind. Kat gently calmed Bastila's anger, her inner voice whispering, _Calm down, Bastila. You've waited too long for this._

Bastila drew a long breath, knowing Kat was right. "Okay, fine. I'm… sorry, Mother. How's Father doing?"

Helena's eyes darkened as her gaze dropped to the floor. "He's dead, Bastila."

Suddenly it felt like all the air was sucked out of the cantina. Bastila's knees shook, threatening to give way. "D-dead?" she repeated, suddenly dizzy. "Father's dead?"

Helena nodded, finally looking up at her daughter with sadness in her eyes. "Yes. He left to find a Krayt dragon almost a year ago. The rest of his hunting party came back and told me they'd seen him killed." Her voice caught as she spoke.

Bastila felt Kat's sympathy in her mind, turning and glancing at Kat. She let the hurt and grief show on her face, knowing Kat could sense it anyway.

Kat looked truly sorry, reaching out and touching Bastila's shoulder.

Bastila restrained herself from bursting into tears. The mental image that she had always treasured began playing in front of her.

_A tall, handsome man was playing with his small daughter, laughing and grabbing her into a bear hug. The minty scent of his cologne filled the young girl's nose, burning into her memory. "I love you, Daddy," she whispered.  
"I love you too, baby girl," he murmured, placing a fatherly kiss on the top of her head. _

"Bastila?" Kat called softly, squeezing Bastila's shoulder.

Bastila jumped, turning to look at Kat. She shook her head, turning back to her mother. She wet her lips and tried to speak. "So… Mother, w-why did you want to see me?" Her voice shook violently and she felt Kat squeeze her hand gently.

"You're on a mission, I suppose?" Helena asked, glancing at the robes Bastila and Kat wore with disdain. "That's fine. I just thought maybe you'd find your father's holocron for me."

"We, um, we're busy, but I…" Bastila stammered.

"We'll try to find it," Kat told Helena, taking Bastila by the arm.

Helena nodded, her gaze lingering on her daughter.

Bastila met her mother's gaze for just a split second before turning and heading out of the cantina, breaking Kat's hold on her arm. She burst through the door, the sand crunching beneath her boots as she headed across the street. She heard the door hiss open as Katrina exited the cantina. Bastila wrapped her arms around herself, trying and failing to stop the tears.

Kat lingered a few feet away, wringing her hands for lack of anything better to do. "Bastila?" she called softly.

"I… I just… I feel so guilty," Bastila whispered, her voice shaking. "I… I don't know why. I didn't think she'd affect me that way. And my dad…"

"It's okay, Bas," Katrina soothed lamely, wishing she could do something to stop her friend's pain. She opened her mouth to say something, thinking better of it and shutting her mouth again, instead opening her arms to the other woman.

Bastila sensed rather than saw the gesture, and she turned and stepped into Kat's open arms, drawing comfort from her friend. Tears began pouring from her eyes, soaking into Kat's shoulder.

They stood in the middle of the street, the Tatooine suns glaring down on them. Sand swirled around their feet, and people walked around them as they went about their business.

"Come on, Bas," Kat murmured soothingly as Bastila sobbed. "It's okay."

Bastila sniffled, nodding as she wiped her eyes. "I know." She sighed, shaking her head. "I know. Can we… can we please just get moving and do something?"

Kat nodded, releasing Bastila reluctantly. "Sure. Let's go find the Star Map."

Bastila drew a shaky breath, nodding and glancing up at Kat. She managed a weak grin, though the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

Kat looked like she wanted to do something to comfort Bastila further, refraining and gently taking Bastila's hand.

Together, they silently walked to the entrance to the Dune Sea, the uncharted deserts of Tatooine. They were still hand in hand when they reached the gate. Bastila, feeling more calm, was surprised that the sense of longing she felt for Revan, though omnipresent, was, for the moment, slightly outweighed by her gratitude toward Kat.

* * *

Working together with amazing ease, Bastila and Kat snuck into the Sand People enclave and found the chieftain. Unsurprised when they were met with hostility, they drew their lightsabers and defended themselves as the entire enclave attacked them. They were outnumbered at least a hundred to two, though once Bastila began using her Battle Meditation in the back of her mind, the fighting became much easier on the two Jedi..

Bastila noticed, despite all the commotion, the chieftain throw a grenade toward them, leaping away and covering her face just before it exploded.

The report wasn't extremely loud, though Bastila noticed the flash of light, panicking when Kat yelped. "Kat?!" she cried, swiftly decapitating one of the chieftain's guards.

"It was a damn flash grenade, Bastila! I can't see!"

Bastila quickly focused her energies and used the Force to blast all the Sand People attacking them away into the walls of the camp. She then threw her lightsaber toward the nearest alien, cutting off his head. She guided the blade around with the Force, beheading all the raiders that had been attacking them.

Her powers exhausted, Bastila pulled her lightsaber back into her hand and turned back to Kat.

Kat was standing in the middle of the room warily, her blade raised as she stood in a defensive stance. She was staring off in front of her, apparently seeing nothing.

Bastila headed toward Kat, her blade meeting Kat's with a clash as Kat tried to defend herself. "It's just me," she cautioned, breathing hard from the fighting.

Kat's face flashed with recognition and she lowered her blade. "They all dead?"

"Yeah." Bastila dropped her weapon into the sand, watching to see if Kat could see anything.

Kat's hands trembled as she extinguished her lightsaber. "Bas?" she called after a moment. "Where are you?"

Bastila stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Kat, feeling Kat relax immediately. "It'll wear off in a few minutes, Kat."

"I know," Kat whispered into Bastila's shoulder. "Just… hold onto me for a minute? So I know you're here?"

Bastila hugged Kat gently. "You needed to ask?" She laughed softly. "I'm not leaving you here alone, Kat."

Kat wrapped her arms around Bastila's neck, sighing. "Thank you, Bastila."

They stood there holding each other for a few moments, both comforted by the other's presence.

The back of Bastila's neck prickled, and as she reached out with the Force, she realized that something was going to happen. She wasn't sure what, but she knew it was going to be big. A thousand things rushed through Bastila's head, things that she realized she wanted to do before the 'something' happened. And strangely, the thing at the forefront her mind was something that just a day ago she would have thought impossible.

She wanted to set things right between Kat and herself. Bastila wasn't sure how she was going to say it, but she knew that before anything happened, she and Kat had to decide what they were going to do about their futures, and whether or not their futures would involve each other.

Just as Bastila was working up her courage to speak, Kat stepped out of her arms, apparently able to see again. Kat glanced at Bastila briefly, something flashing in her green eyes before she turned and began searching through the chieftain's belongings.

Bastila watched silently as Kat found a map, along with a video recording. Upon playing the recording, they found that Mission's brother, Griff, had been murdered.

Their hearts heavy, Bastila and Kat set out in search of the Star Map.

* * *

Bastila and Kat clapped their hands over their ears as the multiple frag minds exploded beneath the Krayt dragon.

The dragon howled, the sound one of extreme agony. It staggered around for a few minutes, finally collapsing and shuddering as it exhaled its last.

The hunter that they had helped jumped and cheered, rushing to the corpse and retrieving a pearl from inside the dead dragon. "Thank you, Master Jedi!" he cried, waving at them before running off in the direction of Anchorhead, the location of the docking bay.

Kat wrinkled her nose at the stench. "Man, that thing stinks."

Bastila grinned despite the smell. "It's a dragon, it's hot, and it's lived in a cave for who knows how many years. You didn't expect it to smell like a Coruscant noble, did you?"

Kat laughed. "Point taken." She shielded her eyes from the sun, staring into the cave. "I think I see something," she exclaimed, walking toward the cave opening. "Come on, let's check it out!"

Bastila followed Kat into the cave, stepping around corpses and rocks.

Kat had been right; the Star Map was at the back of the cave. Bastila pulled a data pad out of her robes and began recording the coordinates while Kat walked over and began examining the corpses.

Bastila heard Kat make a soft noise of surprise, pausing as she entered the last coordinate. "Everything okay?"

Kat was silent for just a moment. "Yeah, Bas. Just… don't come over here, okay?"

Bastila turned, tucking the data pad back into her robes. "What's wrong?"

"Just stay put," Kat ordered, rifling through the pack on one corpse.

Something in Bastila's gut clenched as she realized what Kat must have come across.

Kat stood, a small data chip, the holocron, in her hand. She turned to Bastila, her face downcast. Kat glanced at the corpse behind her once more, heading over to Bastila. Wordlessly, she handed Bastila the holocron, watching Bastila's reaction.

Bastila's hands shook as she stared at the chip in her hands. Her eyes lingered on her father's name engraved along the side of the chip. She felt her head droop, her eyes burn, her knees grow weak. She started to cry, unaware when Katrina caught her and stopped her from falling.

As the tears coursed down Bastila's cheeks, Kat cuddled Bastila close, rocking her and hugging her tightly. "Hush, Bas, it's okay. It's okay."

"He's gone, Kat," Bastila whimpered. "He's actually gone."

"I know," Kat whispered, brushing her lips against Bastila's forehead. "I'm here."

Bastila clung to Kat for a few minutes more, finally calming the sobs shaking her body. She pulled away from Kat, who released her reluctantly.

"You okay?" Kat asked softly, her hand going to rest on Bastila's shoulder.

Bastila wiped her eyes on her sleeve, fresh tears replacing the ones she'd just dried away. She sighed, closing her eyes and tucking the holocron into her robe. Finally she nodded, though the motion was ever so slight. "I'll… I think so," she mumbled, the aftermath of her crying halting her speech disjointedly. She reached for Kat's hand, drawing comfort from the contact.

Kat just stood there and watched Bastila for a moment, finally squeezing her hand and wordlessly walking out of the cave with Bastila.

* * *

They walked past the cantina, though Kat noticed Bastila's pace slow. She said nothing, instead continuing on toward the docking bay.

Bastila stopped walking and glanced over her shoulder toward the cantina. She released Kat's hand and stepped away, toward the cantina.

Kat turned and shot Bastila a confused look. "You want to go talk to her?"

Bastila hesitated, her mind and heart waging a batting her chest. Finally she looked up at Kat, nodding. Without another word, she turned and headed into the cantina.


	9. Chapter 9

"Mother?" Bastila called quietly.

The older woman turned, her eyes narrowing when she saw Bastila. "You're back so soon? You didn't even look for the holocron, did you?"

"I have the holocron, Mother," Bastila responded quietly, her voice tight. She paused and drew a long breath. "I'm just… I don't know whether or not to give it to you."

Helena looked shocked. "You'd deny a old woman the right to see her husband one last time? Maybe it was a mistake to give you to the Jedi! They've turned you into a heartless young woman."

A frown creased Bastila's forehead, but she bit her tongue. She reached up and rested a hand on her chest where Revan's pendant was hanging beneath her robes. She felt a little calmer almost immediately. "Mother, please. I'm trying to give you a chance." Bastila forced the pleading out of her voice, continuing a moment later. "I know you think I don't remember what it was like before you gave me up to the Jedi, but I do. I remember Father, but only faintly. I loved him just as much as you did, Mother. It just took me all this time to realize it." Bastila took a step toward Helena, surprised at the different emotions swirling in her mind. "I… I may have judged you too quickly, Mother," Bastila murmured, watching the changing expression on Helena's face. "I'm sorry."

Helena closed her eyes and sighed, the nasty demeanor she had adopted disappearing. "I'm sorry, too, Bastila. I wasn't a very good mother to you. The only reason I tried to keep you from your father was to keep you safe. He loved hunting treasure, and he had dreams that you'd grow up and follow in his footsteps. I tried time and time again to convince him that it was too dangerous, but he would have none of it. He was a stubborn one, your father, just like you." A smile crossed Helena's face, fading a moment later.

"The life we lived, it was no life for anyone. We were always moving, always poor. I didn't want that for you, not when you had so much talent." Helena chewed on her lower lip, glancing away for a moment.

Understanding dawned in Bastila's eyes. "That's why you gave me to the Jedi, isn't it?"

Helena nodded, her gaze returning to rest on her daughter's face. "To give you a better life," she murmured. "I never did anything out of spite, Bastila. It was all because I loved you."

Bastila hesitated, her gaze dropping to the floor. She believed Helena's story and finally knew why she'd been sent to the Jedi. A sense of peace settled on her shoulders, something in the back of her mind telling her to present the holocron to her mother. Bastila's forehead creased uncertainly as she debated for a moment. Once again, she hesitated, opening her mouth and then shutting it again. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the holocron. She glanced at her mother, a smile flickering across her face. "Here," she murmured, placing the holocron in her mother's hands.

Helena looked at the holocron for a moment, shaking her head and handing the chip back. A smile grew on her face. "No, Bastila. You keep it. I have years of memories to cherish."

Bastila, for a moment, was unconvinced, though she finally accepted the holocron. "Thank you." She flashed Helena a real smile, watching the woman in front of her with a newfound respect.

Helena returned Bastila's gaze, suddenly paling and sinking into a chair. She coughed weakly, sitting back in the chair as she tried to catch her breath.

"Mother!" Bastila stepped toward Helena, alarmed. She was too worried to realize that she actually cared about the woman that had given birth to her. "Are you okay?" she asked, kneeling in front of Helena. "Someone told me you were sick…"

Helena suddenly looked very defeated. "I'm dying, Bastila. The doctors… They've done all they can."

Bastila's jaw dropped open, her blood running cold. "You're… dying?" For a moment she was too shocked to speak. "No, surely they missed something! You can't be dying now!!"

Helena only looked more disheartened. "There's nothing that can be done, Bastila." She smiled wearily. "I can die happy, though, knowing my daughter has grown up right."

Bastila shook her head stubbornly. "No, Mother, please!" She plunged her hands into her pocket and pulled out all her credits chips, placing them in her mother's hands. "Take these," she ordered. "It's all I have. Go to Coruscant and find a doctor."

"Bastila, I couldn't. Really--"

"Mother, please!" Bastila begged. "I want to see you again after I… After my mission."

Pride shone in Helena's eyes. "That's my girl, stubborn as her father." She smiled. "Whatever mission you're on, I know you'll succeed."

Bastila ignored the compliment. "Please go see a doctor?"

Helena sighed, a smile lingering on her face. "Yes, Bastila, I will."

Bastila exhaled, her relief evident. She didn't even flinch when Helena reached forward and stroked her cheek. A moment later, a thought occurred to her. Bastila pulled Revan's necklace--the one Bastila had received so many years ago from her mother--from beneath her robes and showed it to Helena. She knew the gesture would mean the world to her mother.

Helena's eyebrows raised ever so slightly. Then her eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled. She moved to get to her feet, but Bastila leapt up and took her mother's arm, helping her up. Helena thanked Bastila softly, looking up and fixing her gaze on her daughter. Her gaze drifted over Bastila's shoulder a moment later. "You there," she called.

Bastila turned and followed her mother's gaze, surprised to find Kat standing a few yards away.

"You take care of my daughter, all right?" Helena said.

Kat laughed. "As if she'd let me! And believe me," she added in a lower voice meant for Bastila's ears only. "I've tried."

Bastila's shoulders sank. Her gaze locked with Kat's. _I'm sorry, Kat,_ she whispered through their bond. _I… um, when we get back to the _Hawk_, I… we need to talk._

Kat nodded slowly, a hint of a smile on her face.

"Mother," Bastila said, turning back to face Helena. "I'll be careful. Just… make sure you get to a hospital."

Helena nodded. "I will, Bastila. Now, go on and complete your mission." She saw the uncertainty in Bastila's eyes, laughing softly. "Please, I don't want to detain you any longer."

Bastila hesitated, finally smiling. "All right, Mother." She bit her lip, stepping forward and hugging Helena awkwardly. Bastila released her quickly, then turned and headed to Kat's side. "Good bye," she murmured to Helena, waving tentatively.

"Good bye, Bastila," Helena replied, her gaze full of pride as she watched her daughter head out of the cantina, companion at her side.

* * *

Bastila helped Carth launch the ship and direct it onto the hyperspace route. She knew by the way Carth kept glancing at her that she was acting extremely distracted, which she was. Her mind felt like it was whirling at a thousand light-years per second. It had every right to be, after all, Bastila reasoned. She was thinking about Kat and what she planned to say to her.

Once the _Ebon Hawk_ was set on its route, Bastila got to her feet and left the cockpit, off to find Kat. Her stomach was doing flips as the seconds ticked by, the nervous pit of anxiety in her stomach eating away at the courage she had built up. Just as she was about to turn away and forget the whole idea, she found Kat sitting in the middle of the cargo bay meditating.

Bastila stopped in the doorway, hesitating briefly.

The corner of Kat's mouth lifted in a smile as she opened her eyes. "I don't bite, Bas."

Bastila's face flushed and she hastily stepped into the cargo bay. "I know, it's just… I was thinking of what to say." She watched silently as Kat got to her feet.

"I'm proud of you," Kat murmured, resting a hand on Bastila's shoulder. "For the way you dealt with your mom."

Bastila smiled her thanks, running through different phrases that she could use to start the conversation she'd been meaning to since they were together in the Sand People Enclave. The conversation she wanted to have that might help her let go of Revan.

Revan. The name brought with it memories of much happier times. Times that Bastila would always treasure and long for. But Kat was the new reincarnation of Revan, and though they were similar, Revan was gone. Bastila still felt as though a part of her had died with Revan, but she somehow knew that Revan still loved her and wanted her to be happy. Pining after Revan was decidedly not happy, Bastila knew.

It nearly killed her to think about letting Revan go and moving on. Bastila knew that, if given the chance, she'd bring Revan back in a heartbeat. However, she had no such option. And after all that she and Kat had gone through, though it was nowhere near the same as with Revan, Bastila knew that she and Kat had grown close.

Kat gently tucked some of Bastila's hair behind her hear. "What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly, politely keeping herself from checking through their bond.

Bastila closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. Her heart pounded in her chest as she prepared to finally tell Kat what she meant to her. "Kat, I--"

The ship lurched suddenly, throwing both Jedi to the floor.

Carth's swearing could be heard all throughout the ship, even as alarms started blaring noisily.

Kat leapt to her feet almost instantaneously, reaching down and helping Bastila up. Her brow was furrowed with concern as she threw Bastila an apologetic glance. "Can this wait a minute?" she asked, darting off toward the cockpit.

Bastila immediately followed Kat, her heart pounding harder than it had been a moment ago.

When they arrived in the cockpit, a large Sith Interdictor ship loomed outside the front window, drawing them in with a tractor beam. Carth was sitting back in his seat sullenly, a gash on his forehead trickling blood.

"What's going on?" Kat asked, reading all the computer panels quickly before going to Carth's side.

"It's the _Leviathan_," Carth said darkly. "Saul Karath's vessel. My old mentor."

"He's the one you said is second in command to Malak, right?" Kat asked quietly, healing the cut on his forehead with the Force.

Carth nodded stiffly, not acknowledging the sudden absence of pain. "He's the one that destroyed Telos. He's the bastard that killed my wife."

Kat touched his shoulder gently. "Look, if we get the chance, I'll make sure no one gets in your way, okay?"

Carth nodded again. "Thank you." His response came through clenched teeth.

"They're going to capture us, aren't they?" Bastila questioned, thinking aloud. "And probably interrogate us, right? Specifically the three of us, I would think."

Kat turned to Bastila and raised an eyebrow. "What's your point?"

"How are you planning on escaping if all of us are locked up? Surely one of us can find a way to get sent to a separate cell block where they can get out and rescue the rest of us," Bastila shot back.

"Send Mission," Carth said suddenly. "I bet she'd enjoy it."

Kat grinned, obviously sharing Carth's opinion. "Hey, Mission!" she called loudly, waiting until she heard the teenager's footsteps coming up the hallway. When the small alien girl appeared in the cockpit, all Kat had to do was ask, "Want to have some fun?"

As the four of them formulated their plan and told the rest of the crew, the _Ebon Hawk_ slipped into the _Leviathan's_ hangar where a large battalion of Sith soldiers stood waiting.

* * *

Kat, Bastila, and Carth stood together in the portside dorm, listening as Mission began yelling things at one of the Sith soldiers. Bastila had decided not to use her Battle Meditation, knowing that there wasn't going to be any way to escape from the Sith this time.

Kat smiled, despite the situation, as Mission yelled something about the Sith's mother being of close relation to a bantha. She noticed Bastila's distress a split second later, discreetly taking Bastila's hand and squeezing it gently.

Just then, the door flew open and Sith soldiers swarmed in, cuffing them and forcing them out of the ship before they knew what was happening.

* * *

"I'll kill him," Carth grumbled, balling his hands into fists as the soldiers headed out of the room, sealing the door behind them.

Kat and Bastila exchanged a glance, quickly averting their gazes. When the Sith had thrown them into the force cages they were stuck in, they had stripped them down to their underwear, making sure no weapons were hidden. The meager amount of clothing left little to the imagination.

Saul stepped into the room, sneering evilly. "My, Carth, you haven't aged well at all."

Carth's incomprehensible snarl was apparently answer enough for Saul.

"Calm down, Carth," Kat murmured, gently sending out a calming wave of the Force. She sent some of it in Bastila's direction as well, sensing the fear Bastila was feeling.

Bastila, whose senses were tingling with an ominous anxiety, turned to face Kat. "Thank you," she mouthed, her nervousness calming.

Kat nodded almost imperceptibly. Her eyes lingered on Bastila for a moment, flicking away a split-second later as Saul walked over to a computer.

"Now," Saul said, speaking to Kat. "You and I are going to play a little game. I'm going to ask the questions and you will answer them. If you don't, then your friends here will suffer." He pressed a button and electricity swept through Bastila and Carth's force cages and into their bodies.

Kat could feel Bastila's pain and sudden panic, wishing more than anything that she could make it all stop.

A moment later, Saul released the button, looking directly at Kat through dark, evil eyes. "You're going to tell me what mission you're on," Saul ordered, sounding ready to torture Bastila and Carth more. "And if you lie or don't tell me anything, your friends will pay the consequences." He sent another quick wave of electricity through Bastila and Carth's cages.

"Stop it!" Kat yelled, unable to watch as Bastila convulsed.

Saul only laughed, though he did release the button.

Bastila swayed on her feet, gasping for breath. "Don't tell him anything!"

"Our pain is meaningless!" Carth added, glancing at Bastila for affirmation.

Bastila nodded weakly, lifting her head and gazing at Kat. _Don't give in to him, _she begged.

Before Kat could reply, Saul opened his mouth to speak. "Where's the Jedi Enclave?!"

"I… Alderaan," Kat replied softly, averting her eyes from Bastila and Carth. "It's on Alderaan."

Saul punched the button with fervor, a sadistic smile on his face. "Wrong. It was on Dantooine, but we bombed it just three days ago. Everything within a ten mile radius of the Enclave is gone."

Even through her pain, Bastila gasped. "No!"

Saul chuckled. "Next question. What mission did the Jedi Council send you on?"

Kat hesitated, glancing at Bastila with panic in her eyes.

Bastila shook her head. _Don't Kat. Please, stay strong._

Kat turned her gaze to Carth, who shook his head firmly.

"We were…" Kat's voice caught in her throat. "We were sent to kill Malak."

Saul rolled his eyes. "Do you think I'm that stupid? The Jedi Council would never make such a weak move!" The corner of his mouth twitched upward as he pressed the torture button.

Bastila screamed aloud, Carth's groans mingling with the noise. The sounds were of pure agony, but neither begged for mercy. Neither gave in. Finally, Carth collapsed, falling silent.

Kat began to cry, her heart aching with guilt. It was her fault that her friends were suffering, and she was making a conscious effort to hurt them.

_Don't think that, _Bastila's voice whispered in her mind. She sounded as though she was feeling nothing but pure agony. _Just keep lying to him. Carth and I will be fine. _

Before Kat could reply, Saul started again.

"I would have thought he'd last longer than that," Saul said, shaking his head disappointedly. "Moving right along, then. Next question: Why did the Jedi Council choose you and Bastila to carry out the mission? Why not two of the Masters?"

"I'm not going to answer you," Kat replied quietly, her voice tight. She crossed her arms over her chest and bit down on her lip to try and stop the tears.

"Wrong answer," Saul growled, obviously growing irritated.

"Well, you're just wasting your time, Saul!" Kat shot back, furiously wiping away her tears. "I'm not going to betray the Jedi!"

"Since you apparently didn't hear me," Saul said, ignoring her retort. "I'll ask you again: what is the mission the Jedi Council sent you on?" Saul's voice had become full of frustration and anger.

"You're one sick son of a bitch," Kat growled.

Saul rolled his eyes, pressing down on the switch. Unfazed by Bastila's screaming, he waited until Bastila had collapsed to release the button. He gestured to the unmoving bodies of Carth and Bastila, waiting until Kat looked at them to speak. "This is the price of your incompetence. Maybe when Malak arrives, you'll decide to be a little more cooperative."

Kat snarled at him, her eyes flicking back to Bastila momentarily. She immediately focused her consciousness on Bastila's body, healing it and embracing Bastila's mind with her own. _I'm so sorry, _she whispered mentally.

"Torture them all," Saul called to a Sith soldier standing somewhere behind him. "Make sure they all have a nice nap before Malak arrives."

Saul turned and left the room. No sooner had the door shut than Kat felt an intense, white-hot pain. An insanely long moment later, everything faded to black.


	10. Chapter 10

"… How much longer do you think she'll be out?" Carth asked softly.

Bastila was silent for a moment, willing Kat to open her eyes. "I don't know, Carth." She reached out with the Force, gently nudging Kat's unconscious mind as she had five times in the past ten minutes, trying to wake her.

This time, Kat stirred, frowning as she tried to lift herself into a sitting position.

"Don't move too quickly," Bastila cautioned immediately, wishing more than anything that she could hug Kat. "You might not be fully recovered yet. Saul had his guards continue to torture you even after you passed out."

A weak smile replaced the frown on Kat's face as she stubbornly sat up and opened her eyes. "Hey," she murmured, something akin to relief in her eyes. "How're you guys?"

Bastila glanced at Carth, checking him over before replying. "We're okay."

"We've been worried about you," Carth added, his tone suddenly gentle.

Kat nodded, her gaze lingering on Bastila's face. "I'm fine," she managed to say. She finally tore her gaze away, glancing at Carth. "I'm fine," she repeated, more for Carth's benefit that anything else.

Something tickled the back of Bastila's consciousness, something foreboding and dark. Bastila's heart leapt into her throat. "Malak's coming," she whispered.

Kat paled a little, nodding quickly. "Then let's hope--"

The door hissed open, revealing Mission standing there with an impish grin on her face. "Ready to get out of here?" she asked, bounding over to the computer and tapping a few keys. The force fields surrounding Bastila, Kat, and Carth dropped immediately.

Mission bowed playfully, laughing at herself. "Your gear is in there," she said, pointing to a room over her shoulder. "I'm going to go meet up with Canderous. He's heading for the _Hawk_." She waved and darted away.

Carth got up and headed to the other door immediately, saying something about needing to get his blaster and put it to Saul's head.

Bastila headed to Kat, kneeling at Kat's side. "Are you sure you're all right?" she asked softly, staring into Kat's eyes. "Saul's guards were still torturing you when I woke up. And I know I was out for at least an hour." She rested her fingertips on a burn that was reddening across Kat's temple, healing it with the Force.

Kat breathed a gentle sigh of relief. "Thank you," she whispered, gazing back at Bastila as she rested her own hand upon Bastila's. She gently cuddled her cheek into Bastila's hand, relishing the contact.

"Come on," Carth called anxiously, stepping into the doorway. "We don't exactly have all day!"

Bastila blinked, immediately getting to her feet. She extended a hand to Kat, helping her friend to her feet. They stared at each other for just a moment longer before heading to get their things.

* * *

In their hurry to leave, Kat, Bastila, and Carth found that the hanger was sealed off. A quick scan through one of the security computers told them that the only way to open it was through the bridge computer.

Of course, now the Sith knew that they had escaped. The trek to the bridge was a tedious, bloody one. Dark Jedi and Sith were waiting for them, doing anything and everything they could to slow the trio.

Bastila, in spite of herself, noticed the form Kat used, realizing once again that it was the same form as Revan. She immediately fell into the form she had mastered to compliment Revan's, pleased when they quickly cut down all their opponents.

When the three companions got to the bridge door, they all exchanged a glance. Bastila noticed Carth bristle, watching silently as Kat touched his shoulder and calmed him.

Kat turned and glanced at Bastila. "Ready?" she whispered.

Bastila nodded, managing a nervous smile.

Kat tried to grin reassuringly, failing and grimacing instead.

Carth stepped forward and opened the door, leading the other two onto the bridge.

Saul was standing near the helm, watching them enter with a smile. "It doesn't surprise me that you escaped, Carth. You always did try to get things to go your way." He sighed and shook his head. "Too bad that it won't be happening again," he finished with a grin. "Attack!!"

Immediately, blaster fire began peppering the wall behind them.

Kat and Bastila's lightsabers were drawn in a split second, reflecting the majority of the bolts toward their opponents. They launched themselves toward the soldiers, covering for Carth as he ran at Saul.

A minute and a half later, Kat and Bastila both turned to watch as Carth, still locked in heated combat, fought Saul. All their opponents, save Saul, were dead.

Kat shook her head as Bastila started forward to help. _Let him do this, Bas._

_Why? He's going to get himself killed!_

_He just… This is something he needs to do._

Carth and Saul locked blades, the sound of metal on metal breaking the near silence. For a moment, the air was filled with tension as Carth and Saul grunted against each other's strength. Suddenly, Carth jumped away, swinging his sword toward Saul as the older man fell forward.

Carth's sword sliced right through Saul's uniform as Saul toppled to the ground. Carth raised the blade over his head, ready to kill his old friend.

"No, Carth!" Kat yelped suddenly, darting forward and catching his arm. "Look, I know you hate him, but don't kill him out of hate. It's the dark side talking to you."

Carth paused, glancing between Kat and Saul for a moment. He frowned, pain flashing in his eyes for a moment. After a long silence, he sighed, his arms dropping to his sides. "You're right. Let's just… Let's open the hangar and get the hell out of here, okay?"

Kat nodded, turning to the nearest computer terminal. She activated it, quickly finding the controls and deactivating them. "Hangar unlocked," a computerized voice stated. Katrina flashed a triumphant grin at Bastila, shutting down the terminal and walking back to Bastila's side.

"Carth…" Saul wheezed. "Carth, come here… Have something… to tell you."

Carth stiffened and glared down at Saul.

"He's still alive," Bastila gasped, too shocked to move. Carth's attack had been so well placed and devastating, she'd thought Saul was dead before he even hit the deck.

"Carth…" Saul sounded weaker every second, though he found the strength to wave Carth over.

Carth knelt at Saul's side, leaning in to hear what Saul whispered. His shoulders tensed, his gaze becoming severe. "**What**?!" he cried.

Saul laughed. "You didn't know, did you? Remember that when… you think about those that you… consider your friends…" Saul chuckled weakly one last time, slumping back against the deck.

Carth sprang to his feet, wheeling to glare at Bastila. His chocolate brown eyes were flashing with anger. "You knew, didn't you?!?" He pointed at Kat, his voice shaking. "You knew the whole damn time!!"

Bastila's heart sank, immediately knowing what Saul must have told Carth. She felt Kat's confusion through their bond, ignoring it as Kat turned to stare at her "Yes, Carth, I did! I promise I can explain everything when we get back to the _Hawk_! But Malak's coming, so we need to leave!"

"Yeah," Kat added uncertainly. "Whatever it is, surely it can wait. We need to get away from here before Malak gets here."

Carth fixed his hateful gaze on Kat for a split second, turning back to Bastila. "There had better be an damn good explanation for all this," he growled.

Bastila ignored the pit of tension in her stomach, turning and following Kat out of the bridge.

The hallways were mostly empty, thanks to all their previous fighting. The trio hurried through the halls, coming to a series of blast doors just before the entrance to the hangar.

The back of Bastila's neck prickled uneasily just as she heard Kat gasp.

_He's here, _Kat whispered mentally.

Bastila nodded, turning to look at Kat. In Kat's eyes, she could see the mix of excitement, determination, and a hint of fear. For a brief moment, Bastila considered how strange it was that Kat was scared of Malak. Malak had always followed Revan's orders like a pet kath hound, never posing any threat.

"Are we going or not?" Carth snarled, startling both Kat and Bastila.

Kat nodded in answer, stepping forward toward the blast doors. She hesitated, turning back to glance at Bastila uncertainly. She seemed to want to say something, apparently deciding it wasn't the time. She turned back to face the blast door, starting for it just as it slid open.

Bastila froze, as did Carth and Kat. Malak stood towering before them, his eyes narrowing as he laid his gaze on Kat.

"You're going down!" Carth yelled, firing off a round of blaster fire toward Malak.

Malak laughed, deflecting the bolts with his lightsaber blade. He turned to look at Kat as Carth was pushed into a wall with the Force.

Kat started to move to go to Carth, stopping when Malak cocked his head with surprise.

"Had a change of heart?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kat frowned. "What?"

"I'm just surprised," Malak replied. "You and Bastila used to be joined at the hip."

Bastila stiffened; she hadn't expected Malak to bring _that _up.

"Used to be?" Kat repeated uneasily. "Have we… met?"

Malak threw his head back and laughed, the sound hearty and surprised all at once. "Oh, surely not! You can't mean you don't remember!!"

Kat's confused frown deepened. "Remember what?" she pressed, her nervousness creeping through her bond with Bastila.

Malak bowed mockingly. "Your past, Master." He straightened, a demented humor flashing in his sickly yellow eyes. "Lord Revan."

Kat blanched, her jaw dropping open as she took a shocked step backward. Malak chuckled. "What?" Kat gasped, swaying a little on her feet.

"Yes, Revan, the Council was using you. They programmed in a new identity for you, making you their pawn. All this time, you've been blindly following the Jedi's orders." Malak seemed to get a sick pleasure from revealing Kat's past to her.

Katrina turned to Bastila, her face white as a sheet, her eyes open wide. "B… Bastila?" she asked, her voice an octave too high. "This can't be… This isn't…"

Bastila felt as though the guilt and sorrow pressing down on her shoulders might suffocate her. "It's true," she whispered. "I've wanted to tell you everything for so long, but the Council told me not to. They wanted to--"

"They were using you, Revan," Malak interrupted.

"I'm so sorry, Kat!" Bastila cried, suddenly having found her voice. "The Council--they… Kat, I had to save you! You nearly died when Malak attacked your ship!! But when you woke up, your mind was gone. You didn't remember anything!" Bastila's voice quavered but didn't break. "The Council decided not to let you die, so they gave you a new identity… Believe me, Kat, no one wanted to see you as a shell of your old self! We all decided it was the best thing to do."

"They just wanted to use you to find the Star Forge," Malak spat.

"No! We weren't using you, Kat!" Bastila yelped, her eyes burning with sudden tears. "_I_ wasn't!"

"You were the Jedi's pawn, Revan. Face it." Malak leered at Kat for a long moment.

Kat's gaze hardened as she gazed at Bastila. She set her mouth in a firm line.

"I'm so sorry," Bastila whispered, meaning it so genuinely that her whole being hurt. She faltered under Kat's gaze, praying that Kat wouldn't hate her for lying. Surely now Kat thought that their entire friendship had been a joke.

Kat hesitated only a moment. She sighed, closing her eyes for a split second. "I… I understand, Bastila. It's okay." Her voice was tight, though it was obvious she was keeping herself from being hostile. She turned away before Bastila could see the emotion and sincerity in her eyes.

Kat turned to face Malak, her hand twitching toward her lightsaber. "Malak," she said, testing the name as she addressed her old friend. "I'm a Jedi, not a Sith. I'm a follower of the light now, and you can't change that." She sounded more sure of herself as she spoke. "The lights always wins."

Malak chuckled. With a twitch of his fingers, he sent Kat flying with a Force Push while putting Bastila and Carth into a stasis. He turned away then, running through a blast door. The door sealed behind him, locking mechanisms clicking into place.

Kat got to her feet, her head pounding. She headed to her friends, checking them over quickly to make sure they were all right. Her eyes lingered on Bastila's face, and she saw Bastila's gaze flick over to meet her own.

Tears filled Bastila's eyes, a few leaking down her cheeks.

Kat dried Bastila's tears away gently with her thumb, never breaking eye contact. The expression on her face was a mix of forgiveness, sorrow, and caring.

After a long moment, Kat turned away, heading toward the blast door. Malak had sealed it well, forcing Kat to take a longer route, around to the back of the room. Kat darted through the hallways, finally arriving at the door that separated her from Darth Malak.

Kat drew a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She opened the door, her heart shooting up into her throat as Malak drew his lightsaber.

A pulse of alarm flashed in Kat's head, forcing her to remember what was going on. She forced away her nervousness, stepping into the room. Her hand went to her lightsaber hilt.

Malak laughed and stepped toward Kat.

Just then, Bastila's lightsaber came flying toward Malak out of nowhere. Malak grunted, having deflected the blade at the last minute, and turned away from Kat, finding Bastila standing down the hallway from him.

"Kat, get out of here! You and the rest of the crew need to find the Star Forge!" Bastila yelled, looking a little afraid, though she was obviously determined not to let her friends get hurt.

Carth ran up behind Kat and caught her arm as Malak charged Bastila. The door closed behind Malak, sealing Kat and Carth off from going to Bastila's aid.

"Bastila!!" Kat screamed, tearing herself out of Carth's grasp and launching herself toward the door. She slammed her fists against the metal, feeling powerless.

Carth grabbed Kat's shoulder and pulled her around to face him. "Give it up, Revan!" he barked. "Bastila's gone! She sacrificed herself to save you and me, so it's for the best that we get out of here and find the Star Forge!"

Kat glared at him, her heart aching as he used her former name. "Malak's going to kill her! We can't leave!!"

Carth returned her glare. "Wanna bet, _Revan_?"

"Shut **up**!!" Kat cried. "I'm going to lop off your head if you don't stop saying that!!"

Carth shrugged apathetically, turning away. "Wouldn't be the first time you've don't that, I'm sure." Carth was unfazed as Kat drew a sharp, hurt breath. "Are you coming or not?"

Kat glanced back at the door, tears filling her eyes. Bastila had blocked off their bond, keeping Kat from hearing or feeling anything. A feeling of loneliness settled on Kat's shoulders as she fell into step behind Carth. As she boarded the _Hawk,_ she closed her eyes. _I'm so, so sorry, Bas._

At that very moment, Bastila was thrown into a cell by Malak's guards. Kat's words trickled past the barrier she had put up. Bastila lay still on the floor, panting and wiping blood out of her eyes as a faint smile flickered across her face. "Good luck, Kat," she whispered before sinking into unconsciousness.


	11. Chapter 11

The _Ebon Hawk_ and its crew headed for the only other planet they had not visited: Korriban. The last Star Map had to be there.

The _Leviathan_ had carried them halfway across the Outer Rim, leading Carth to report that the journey would take at least a week. He also reported that Kat was actually Revan, shocking and startling nearly everyone on the crew. After making his announcement, Carth locked himself in the cockpit, not letting anyone in.

Kat knew it was her fault immediately. Just by being Revan, she had turned Carth, one of her most trusted friends, against her. Knowing that he was refusing everything because of her nearly killed Kat.

She stood outside the closed cockpit door for nearly an hour, debating whether or not to force him to open the door. After hearing nothing but silence, Kat could bear it no longer. She turned and walked down the hallway into the commons. The rest of the crew stood there talking quietly, immediately falling silent when they saw Kat in their midst.

Kat restrained herself from bursting into tears, vaguely noticing Jolee watching her carefully as she hurried out of the commons, down another hallway.

Kat miserably headed to the dorm, throwing herself onto her bed. She closed her eyes and curled up, facing the wall. She was very aware of Bastila's bed just across the room from her. Kat ignored it as best she could, her resolve cracking after just a few minutes.

She rolled over and sat up with tears in her eyes. The sack with Bastila's things in it was sitting on her bed, partially open. Apparently no one had made it back into the dorm to straighten things up after the Sith had ransacked the ship.

A faint wave of frustration swept over Kat as she stood and walked the five feet to Bastila's bed. She wiped her eyes as she sank down onto the side of Bastila's bed. She saw that not only was the bag sitting there open, the things inside were stuffed in without care. Kat knew Bastila would never be that disorderly, her hands trembling as she reached in and pulled out a wrinkled tunic.

The soft scent of Bastila's perfume drifted through the sterile air of the_ Ebon Hawk_, gently forcing Kat to recognize its presence. Tears filled Kat's eyes again. She buried her face in the tunic, inhaling the smell of it. Finally, after a moment, she folded it carefully and set it aside, quickly doing the same to all Bastila's clothes.

When she had finished folding, Kat grabbed the clothes and gently nestled them down inside the bag. She hesitated, pulling the clothes back out and looking down into the bottom of the bag. Something cool and round had brushed against her fingertips, something that Kat immediately recognized.

A lightsaber hilt was lying across the bottom of the bag. It struck Kat as strange, because Bastila had had her lightsaber with her on board the _Leviathan_. How would it have gotten back on board the _Ebon Hawk_?

Kat set down Bastila's clothes, reaching into the bag as if in slow motion. It struck her as she picked up the slender tube that the design of the hilt was different than Bastila's. She rolled the hilt around in her hands, surprised at how natural it felt. Something told her to look for the name engraved into the hilt. Kat turned the hilt into the light, searching for the name.

_Revan Turmen._

Something in Kat's gut tightened as shock flowed through her system. She didn't know why Bastila had kept the weapon, but something told her it had been important to Bastila. Maybe Bastila had been keeping it for her? Kat pondered the idea for a moment, gazing down at the lightsaber. Something inside her suddenly drew her to the hilt, accepting it as her own. The lightsaber hilt on Kat's belt suddenly felt uncomfortable and foreign. Kat hesitantly unclipped the old hilt, replacing it with the new hilt. Immediately, she felt better.

Kat set the old hilt aside, now curious. She reached for the note, drying her eyes with her sleeve before reading it. As she read, tears once again filled her eyes. Her own hasty closing jumped out at her. _I love you, Bas._

The words seemed so familiar, so natural. Kat could _almost_ remember a time when saying those words had been second nature. After a long moment, she tore her eyes away and read the signature. There, in her own handwriting, was a single name: _Revan_.

Kat closed her eyes and sighed. Things were finally making sense. She and Bastila had apparently been together before Revan had gone to war. The Council must have fabricated the story that Revan was dead, forcing all the Jedi to live the tale. That in itself must have hurt Bastila.

Something occurred to Kat suddenly. Bastila's friend that had died… That had to have been Revan. But they couldn't have just been friends; the note proved they had been more. Kat suddenly made a noise of understanding. The Council would have punished Bastila, maybe even exiled her, had they known that she was in a relationship. And if they'd known who it was that Bastila was involved with, they would have separated them forever. Bastila had just been covering up for herself and Revan, to protect both of them.

A thousand emotions rushed through Kat's mind, making it hard to think. Kat gently set the note back in the bottom of Bastila's bag, covering it once again with Bastila's clothes. She latched the bag, setting it against Bastila's pillow.

Without even really thinking, Kat got to her feet and headed toward the cargo bay. She needed to sort through things in her mind, and she knew meditating would be the best way to do that.

On the way to the cargo bay, questions began popping up in her mind. Kat shut the door behind herself, sinking to the floor. Why hadn't anyone told her until now that she was Revan? Why hadn't Bastila told her, if they'd been together before?

Kat immediately paused, thoughts rushing away from her mind. Bastila. Kat closed her eyes, going back over her time with Bastila during their Star Forge quest. Suddenly, a few scenes jumped out at her, reinforcing what she'd just learned. Bastila's surprise at Kat's lifelike dreams was because they were memories. Bastila's reluctance to talk about Revan and the pain in her eyes when she did was because she and Revan had been so close.

Everything slowly began clicking into place. Before, when she'd been Revan, she and Bastila had been together, no doubt was in Kat's mind. Kat forced away all distractions, focusing on the pieces of memories floating just on the edge of her conscious mind. The more time she spent focused on the fragments of memories, the more came back to her.

As Kat delved into her subconscious, she felt a strangely familiar presence in her mind. It wasn't Bastila, but was someone else, someone feeling trapped and ready to be let out. Kat reached toward it with her consciousness, coming to a sudden stop when she came to a barrier between her and the other person in her mind. A split second later, Kat felt the trace of the Jedi Masters in her mind, knowing immediately that they were the creators of the barrier in her mind.

Suddenly, she knew who it was, trapped behind the barrier. It was herself. Her old self, the one that _belonged _in her conscious mind. It was Revan. Kat threw herself against the barrier, mentally pounding at it and giving it all she had.

For a moment, she slowed, wondering what would happen if she released Revan. Would she fall back to the dark side? Would something go wrong and kill her? What would happen to the identity she'd lived as Katrina? Was it really that important to be Revan again?

Kat's hesitation stretched on for a long moment. Bastila must have hurt so much, to see her friend virtually destroyed. And if they truly been together, surely Bastila had nearly died of a broken heart.

Flickers of memories trickled through a weakened area of the barrier. Bastila had presented Revan with a birthday gift, a genuine smile on her face. Bastila had gently woken Revan up one morning, smothering her with kisses. Revan and Bastila had found the crystal cave, excited to enter it. An image of Bastila and Revan laughing and just being together flashed before Kat's eyes.

A glimmer of Revan's mind slipped through the barrier, more whole and real than Kat had ever felt. As Kat felt the small piece of Revan rush through her, she realized how _fake_ "Katrina" felt to her.

Though a small part of her wanted it for Bastila, the rest of her knew it was time. It was time to become who she was supposed to be.

Kat focused her whole being and charged toward the barrier. She didn't care what happened to her, suddenly only wanting to be who she was supposed to be.

The barrier shattered as Kat's mind crashed into it.

A moment later, a body fell to the floor of the _Ebon Hawk_ as two consciousnesses swirled together and became one.

* * *

"I'm just whetting your appetite for the dark side," Malak told Bastila, stroking her cheek gently. "Once you become my apprentice, your Battle Meditation will help me to completely destroy my enemies!"

Bastila, restrained by cuffs on her wrists and ankles, jerked away from his touch. She turned her head and spat at his feet. "I'm not going to fall, Malak!!"

Malak chuckled. "If you only know how much like Revan you sound, my dear Bastila."

Bastila bristled. "Don't say a word about her! She was a better person than you'll ever be!! If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have fallen!"

Malak leaned in close to Bastila. "How do you know that she wasn't the one that led me to the dark side?"

Bastila faltered, shaking herself and scowling at her captor. "Revan wouldn't have let herself! She was too smart for that."

"She was hurting," Malak replied. "People do crazy things when they're in pain." He paused, looking thoughtful. "Yes, Revan was very… broken during the war. She cried herself to sleep every night for a long time. I could hear her moaning in her sleep, calling your name."

Tears of both guilt and rage burned in Bastila's eyes. "Shut up! I loved Revan, and I know I hurt her! I've felt awful every damn second since then, so stop rubbing it in my face!"

Malak laughed. "That's it. Let the anger flow through you. Use its power to attack me." Malak released the cuffs around Bastila's wrists and ankles, letting her fall to the ground in a heap. "Do it for Revan."

Bastila growled at him, picking herself up weakly. "No, Malak." She swayed on her feet, having not had any sustenance in days. She was barely strong enough to stand.

The next moment, she was sprawled on the ground, her jaw throbbing. Malak stood over her, looking furious, his fist still raised. "Don't toy with me, Jedi."

Bastila somehow managed to smile, struggling to her feet. She found herself collapsing again as Malak shocked her with Force Lightning. She felt a sharp pain in her chest as Malak kicked her.

"I will break you," Malak told her quietly. "Just like I did Revan."

Something in Bastila's chest bristled, though she was suddenly too weak to do anything. "No," she whispered, fighting away the darkness beginning to encroach on the edges of her vision.

Malak was quiet, obviously having thought up a new tactic. "Why do you think Revan and I didn't come back after the war?" He waited for Bastila to answer, shocking her with Force Lightning when she didn't.

With a moan, Bastila drew a breath. "You… She was… afraid. Of me."

"Why?" Malak pressed, stepping closer to Bastila.

"I told her…" Bastila scowled, gasping for breath. The Force Lightning had caused her extreme, dizzying pain. "I said I didn't care… about her."

"Do you think it was the only reason? Why would she have taken me and not you?" Malak leaned in close, looking Bastila in the eye. "What could she have been hiding?"

A part of Bastila knew he was lying, but the other part was suddenly terrified. Could Revan have just led her on all those years? Could it all have been lies? Had Revan actually been with Malak the whole time?

Malak laughed at the uncertainty in Bastila's expression. "Yes, now you see. The people you trust the most lie to you, stab you in the back, and finally let you down."

Tears glimmered in Bastila's eyes as she lay on the ground. Weak and nearly dead, her mind wasn't as sharp as it normally was. She knew Malak was lying, but she was suddenly too weak to care. It was just easier to believe…

Malak's Force Lightning pulsed through her system, eliciting a moan from Bastila.

Something suddenly called to her. It whispered in Bastila's ear, letting her know that it would take the pain away. It would make her strong. Strong enough to free herself.

Barely able to breathe through her pain and the blood in her mouth, Bastila closed her eyes, opening herself up to the power. She was vaguely aware of Malak's chuckle, focusing on a mental image of Revan before slipping away into darkness.

* * *

"Kat? Kat!!" The voice was filled with alarm.

Kat groaned softly, opening her eyes. As her vision came into focus, she saw Mission kneeling over her.

Relief flashed in the Twi'lek's eyes. "Are you okay?! I walked in and you were sprawled out on the floor… I thought you might have…" Mission's voice trailed off uncomfortably and she bit her lip.

Kat grinned and shook her head, sitting up slowly. "No, Mission, I feel… good."

Mission suddenly looked confused. She sat back on her heels, raising an eyebrow at Kat. "Huh? Just a few hours ago you were crying your eyes out. What happened?"

Kat's expression grew serious. "Mission, you remember the story about Revan dying? Did Bastila ever tell you what really happened?"

"No." Mission shook her head warily, her eyes thoughtful. "But that can't be right. You're sitting right here, alive, and you were Revan."

Kat nodded. "Exactly. Malak attacked my ship and Bastila saved my life. I think at that point, my mind was damaged and I couldn't remember anything. That's when the Jedi made me into Kat. They'd just locked Revan away in my mind." Kat paused for breath, looking excited. "And when Malak told me who I was, I started to remember. I remembered why I left and went to war."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. You're talking like you're Revan again." Mission edged away carefully, not really noticing that she did.

Kat nodded, cracking her knuckles. "That's just it. I feel more **real **than I ever did as Kat. I just… I'm back, Mission."

Mission paled. "You mean…?"

Kat laughed softly. "Yeah. I'm not Kat anymore. I'm Revan."

Mission backed away a little more, this time very aware of it. "You're not going to… You're not going to kill me, are you?"

Revan shook her head, getting to her feet with a grunt. She extended a hand to Mission, smiling brightly. "That's the farthest thing from my mind," she assured her young friend. "I promise."

Mission hesitated for a long moment before taking Revan's hand and getting to her feet. She eyed Revan uneasily. After a long moment, she seemed to accept the new person in her friend's body. Mission grinned and hugged Revan. "I'm glad you're okay," she said.

Revan returned the hug. "Thanks. Is everyone still mad?"

Mission shrugged. "I'm not. Me and Big Z are gonna stick by you, K-- I mean, Revan." Mission made a face. "That's going to take some getting used to."

Revan nodded thoughtfully, counting off on her fingers. "And Canderous probably didn't mind at all. T3's programmed to follow his master. That leaves Jolee and Carth." A frown flickered across Revan's face. "Is Carth still mad?"

"Yeah." Mission nodded. "He locked himself in the cockpit. I think he's been crying." Sympathy flashed in Mission's eyes.

Revan's shoulders sank. "Is he still in there?"

"Yeah. He thinks he's sealed in, but it's not that hard to open that lock."

Revan smiled uneasily. "Well, then, you wanna help me out?"

Mission grinned, darting out of the cargo bay.

Revan followed, keeping her pace slow and relaxed. She paused as she went up the hallway, glancing into the medbay. Jolee stood inside, mixing up some healing injections. A memory suddenly flashed into her head, stopping Revan in her tracks. She smiled and stepped into the medbay, bowing when Jolee turned.

"Master," she greeted him.

Jolee snorted. "I thought I told you to quit that 'Master' crap."

"But it's what I used to call you," Revan countered, watching curiosity flicker in Jolee's eyes.

The old man turned to Revan with a strange emotion in his eyes. "Ah. So you remember now?"

Revan nodded slowly. A smile stretched across her face as Jolee smiled. "Good to see you, Revan," he said quietly, extending a hand for her to shake.

Revan shook his hand affectionately, throwing her arms around him in a hug. "I missed you, Master."

Jolee patted her back softly, suddenly acting very paternal toward his old Padawan. "It's mutual, lass."

Revan chuckled, detangling herself from the older man.

Just then, Mission poked her head into the medbay. "Hey, Kat?" She frowned and shook herself. "Sorry. Hey, Revan, you ready?"

Revan grinned, stepping out of the medbay. "Yeah, let's go." She glanced at Jolee over her shoulder, smiling warmly at him.

Jolee returned the smile, going back to his work.

Mission was practically bouncing as she led Revan up the hallway toward the cockpit. She quickly dismantled the lock, stepping back. Mission darted off down the hallway with a grin, letting Revan and Carth have some privacy.

Revan hesitantly stepped into the cockpit, her eyes going to the back of Carth's head immediately. He was sitting in his normal position, the pilot's chair. "Carth?" Revan called quietly.

Carth's shoulders visibly tensed. He said nothing, staring out at the stars as they flew past.

Revan sighed, cracking her knuckles nervously. "Carth, I know you're mad. I'd be pissed as hell if I was you."

Carth grumbled something unintelligible.

"Carth, you're one of my best friend. You have to trust me. I didn't give the order that killed your wife. I swear it, Carth." She walked up behind him, watching him uneasily.

Carth was silent for a long time. Finally, he turned and looked up at Revan. Tears were in his eyes. "I know you didn't," he managed. "All this time, I was just… I was searching for someone to blame. It was wrong of me to blame you." He paused, clearing his throat and getting out of his chair. He stepped toward Revan, looking at her earnestly. "Sitting here, I've been thinking a lot. And I realized that… I just feel like you've got this huge destiny ahead of you, and I'm worried that it'll swallow you up."

Carth rested his hands on Revan's shoulders, looking her in the eye. "I want to help protect you, Kat. I don't know what you're thinking or feeling now that you know you're Revan, but I can be there for you. I could… I could love you, if you'll give me that chance."

Revan paled, the relieved smile that had been on her face fading. "Carth, I-- No." She twisted out of his grasp. "I don't--"

Hurt flashed across Carth's face. "Oh. I get it. Don't worry," he added at the confused look on Revan's face. "I'm sure Canderous is a great guy."

Revan blinked, laughing a moment later. "No, Carth, I'm not with Canderous. I just… I'm gay, Carth."

Carth's forehead creased with confusion. "You are?"

Revan nodded, grinning. "Yeah. I'm a little surprised you didn't know already, to be honest." She extended her hand to Carth tentatively. "Are we still friends?"

Carth stared at Revan for a minute before shaking her hand firmly. "Uh… yeah. Of course. I… Things'll just be weird for a while." He hesitated, watching her as she shifted her weight uncomfortably. "You seem… I don't know, different. Everything okay?"

Revan smiled. "Everything's great. Can we just… Can we talk?"

Carth merely gestured for her to take the pilot's chair, leaning back against the wall to listen.

Revan immediately started talking, telling Carth everything about her leaving for the war up until her fall, purposefully leaving Bastila out of the majority of the story. She knew Carth's emotions were still raw, and didn't want to hurt him any more than she knew she already had.

After nearly an hour, Revan had even told him about regaining her identity. She wrapped up her story, looking up at Carth.

He was watching her with half a smile on his face. "You've had quite the exciting life, haven't you?"

Revan shrugged uncertainly. "Yeah, I guess. You're, uh, you're not mad that I decided to be Revan again, are you?"

Carth chuckled and shook his head. "No. Knowing you, it was for the best. You seem to have a feel for those things. Besides, you're Jedi Revan, aren't you?"

Revan nodded.

"Then there's no problem," Carth said.

Revan sighed with relief. "Thanks Carth. That means a lot."

Carth only smiled, moving around to take the copilot's chair. He switched the main controls to his station, powering up the engine. "Hold on," he told Revan before sending the _Ebon Hawk_ into hyperspace. "We've got a galaxy to save."

* * *

Okay, admittedly, parts of that were a little weird.

I'm not so sure I like the way the Malak-torturing-Bastila scene worked out, but Sith are liars anyway, so I suppose it fits.

Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Revan made sure that no one followed her onto Korriban, knowing it was a Sith planet. She headed out alone, unsurprised to find a Sith academy for fallen Jedi. Revan masqueraded as a Sith, glad that no one recognized her face.

Revan quickly became a favorite student at the Academy, winning the contest to impress the master. The Sith master awarded Revan the top spot in the class, getting rid of all her competition. He soon pulled her aside, informing her that in order to pass the entire course and become a true Sith, she would need to meet him in one of the many Sith tombs.

Revan took a full day to prepare, resting as much as possible. The toll of blocking the dark side and keeping herself a Jedi was extreme, and she was exhausted almost constantly. She had put up the façade of being a fallen Jedi, all the while being a follower of the light. Most had been convinced, something Revan was glad of.

Finally, Revan went out to meet the master. He sent her into a secluded tomb with the instruction to find a lightsaber hidden within an artifact and bring it back to him.

Revan entered the tomb and found herself immediately surrounded by lethal creatures. She fought her way through the tomb, glad when she reached the end. There, in the middle of the last chamber, sat the Star Map.

Revan pulled her data pad out of her pocket and walked up to the Star Map. She activated it, entering the coordinates onto her pad. As she tapped in the coordinates, she felt extremely heartsick for Bastila. It had always been Bastila's job to enter the coordinates into the pad.

Revan's heart ached for Bastila's presence. But since Malak had taken Bastila, Revan hadn't felt anything through their bond. She knew Bastila had blocked it purposefully to keep Revan from worrying. Revan laughed bitterly. It didn't stop her from worrying at all. If anything, it made her worry more.

After a moment, Revan entered the last coordinate, putting the data pad away with a sigh. She turned and searched the chamber for anything else potentially useful, relieved when she saw the old artifact the master had described to her. Revan headed toward it, thanking her lucky stars that she'd seen it.

Revan took the old lightsaber from its resting place within the artifact, clutching it in her hand as she turned and headed back the way she had come from. Her thoughts remained on Bastila the entire walk back to the entrance.

Revan finally found the Sith master, who was waiting for her at the entrance. She presented him with the lightsaber, waiting for him to let her leave.

The master examined the weapon, obviously proud. He sneered, igniting the blade along with his own. Before Revan could even comprehend what had happened, the Sith lunged.

Revan leapt out of the way at the last second, drawing her old lightsaber for the first time in years. She immediately began parrying fierce attacks, forcing herself to concentrate.

"Don't think for a second I didn't know who you are!" the Sith hissed, forcing Revan up against a wall, their blades hissing and spitting as they clashed. He locked blades with her, sparks flying as the bright beams of energy got dangerously close to Revan's face.

Revan called upon the Force and used it to push the Sith away. Using the brief moment she gained, Revan threw herself toward her opponent, her green blade battling for dominance against the two crimson ones. They crashed against each other loudly, sending a shower of sparks to the ground around them. "You only know who I **was**!" Revan retorted breathlessly.

The Sith laughed, almost uneasily. "You're Darth Revan," he said, speaking as though he was talking to a child.

Revan snarled, and with newfound energy, smashed her blade against his, forcing him to take a step backwards. Over the next few minutes, Revan only gained a few more feet, placing them in the middle of the chamber. She felt sweat running down her temple, ignoring the urge to wipe it away.

She feinted a blow toward the Sith's legs, instead throwing her leg up and kicking him in the chest. The Sith stumbled backward, and Revan forced him back farther with powerful blows of her lightsaber. "I'm not Darth Revan!" she snarled, readying an attack. "I'm Revan, but never again will I be the likes of you."

With a quick flick of her wrist, Revan swung her blade toward him, turning away as he collapsed to the floor in two pieces.

A sick feeling built in the pit of her stomach, the way it always did when she killed someone. She'd steeled herself against it during the war, knowing that she'd be unable to avoid death. But now, years afterward, the numbness she'd forced upon herself was gone.

Revan swallowed the sour taste in her throat, hastily heading out of the tomb. To her surprise, the sun had begun to set, and it was growing dark. The temperature was already cooling, but it wasn't the cause of the chill running up Revan's spine.

The students at the Sith academy immediately noticed their master's absence, much to Revan's disappointment. She had hoped to have been off Korriban and on her way toward the Star Forge by the time the man's absence was noticed. They asked Revan where their master had gone and Revan responded with the truth with the hope that the Sith would approve. After all, the way of the Sith included the apprentice killing the master at some point in time.

It seemed as though the students were one voice; for a moment, they were silent. The next, they cried out as one. "Kill her! She killed Master Uthar!"

Revan swore and drew her lightsaber as nearly seventy Sith drew their own blades. Revan took on a defensive stance, fumbling in her pocket for a grenade. Revan grabbed the first grenade she found and pulled it out of her pocket. In a split second, she'd pulled the pin and tossed the shell into the midst of the Sith.

A brilliant flash of light immediately followed by a loud explosion filled the room. Several of the Sith students cried out, more startled than anything. The flash of light had blinded them temporarily, but it was time enough for Revan.

She quickly set a stasis on all the students, freezing them in place. Revan took the opportunity and darted toward the exit. She hurried back through the port city, boarding the _Ebon Hawk _as the sun dipped below the horizon.

Revan headed to the cockpit, giving Carth the last set of Star Map coordinates and letting him know she was ready to leave. She helped him launch the _Hawk_ before excusing herself to shower and get some sleep.

Revan spent a long time in the shower, trying to let the hot water soothe her. She still felt sick over killing the Sith, but worse than that, every time she closed her eyes, she saw Bastila's face. Try as she might, she couldn't banish the image.

Finally, Revan groaned and turned the water off. She wrapped herself in a towel, stepping out of the shower. She sank to the floor and buried her face in her hands, tears slipping down her cheeks and mixing with the drops of water that still clung to her skin. Her heart ached for Bastila's presence.

It occurred to Revan suddenly how much at fault she was for everything that had happened. Bastila had been right all those years ago during their only fight. If only Revan hadn't gone to fight… The war might have been won without any Jedi aid, and Revan could have remained with Bastila. Things could have been so much better…

Revan's mind went back to her encounter with Bastila on her flagship. Revan had thought that Bastila would hate her. But then… Bastila had looked so heartsick, so crushed… Looking back, Revan wondered how she could have been so blind to Bastila's pain. What she wouldn't give to go back and do it all again!

Someone knocked at the door. "Kat?" Carth snorted at himself. "Sorry. Revan? You okay in there? It's been almost an hour."

Revan looked up at the door with a start. She quickly wiped her face on her towel, getting to her feet. "Yeah," she managed, relieved that her voice didn't crack. "Just getting dressed. I'll be right out." She listened for a moment, reaching for her nightclothes as Carth walked away.

Once she was dressed, Revan stuffed her towel in the hamper and left the fresher. She headed toward the dorm, creeping into the darkened room silently. Revan took care to be quiet when she saw that Mission was asleep. Revan slipped into her bunk, banning her thoughts from her mind. Just as she was beginning to doze off, Mission called her name softly. "Revan?"

Revan's eyes immediately snapped open and she glanced toward Mission's bunk. "Yeah?"

"Do you think Bastila's going to be okay?" Mission sounded scared, reminding Revan that, though Mission acted like a witty young woman, she was still just a kid. As she asked about Bastila, she sounded every bit of her fourteen years, no more, no less.

Revan hesitated, wondering how to answer. She herself had no idea; there had been utter silence through her bond with Bastila ever since the _Leviathan._ "I don't know, Mission," she replied simply, her voice quiet.

"You don't think… Malak's not gonna kill her, is he?" Mission's voice caught.

Revan sighed, getting out of her bed. She made her way to Mission's bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress. She watched as the teen stared back up at her with tears forming in her eyes. Mission didn't even try to blink them away.

"You're worried about her, aren't you?" Revan asked softly.

Mission nodded, biting her lip in an attempt to stop her tears.

Revan opened her arms to the teen, gently rocking Mission while she cried. "So am I," she sighed, a few tears of her own slipping down her cheeks.

* * *

"Hey, Revan!" Carth's voice came down the hallway into the commons, where Revan sat playing Pazaak with Mission.

"What?" she called, groaning as she realized she'd played a bad card, allowing Mission a very good opportunity to get ahead in the game.

"We're here," Carth replied, his tone full of a solemn wonder.

Revan and Mission looked up and shared a tense look. They both set down their cards and hurried to the cockpit. Mission got there first, stopping in the doorway. She gasped at the sight, stepping out of the way so Revan could get into the cockpit.

Revan stepped up to Carth's side, her stomach tightening nervously as she laid eyes on the enormous structure looming before them, flanked by a large blue planet that rotated slowly beneath them. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until her lungs protested. Revan exhaled, glancing at Carth. "We're here," she agreed.

They were all silent for a few long minutes, staring at the ominously beautiful sight before them. Finally, Mission left to tell the rest of the crew that they'd arrived, leaving just Carth and Revan in the cockpit. Revan sank into the co-pilot's chair while Carth eased the _Hawk_ toward the Star Forge.

Suddenly, the ship rumbled, shaking and shuddering beneath them.

Revan and Carth exchanged a sharp glance, though once the ship shook again, Carth's hands began flying over the controls. "I don't know what's going on," he cried, fighting to keep the ship stable.

Revan activated her controls, trying her best to aid Carth in any way she could, but it was no use. The _Ebon Hawk_ was trapped in some kind of field. Try as they might, Revan and Carth couldn't stop the _Hawk_ from being dragged toward the large blue planet.

They hurtled toward the planet, the ship shaking violently as it went through the atmosphere. The engine roared in protest.

Carth broke into a sweat as he groaned, fighting against the controls. His groan turned into a yell as the ship shuddered dangerously. He managed to flip the ship up, slowing them before he put down the landing gear. The ship touched down neatly not more than half a second later.

Carth slumped back in his seat, letting out his breath in a rush.

Revan looked over at Carth breathlessly. After a moment, she laughed, unable to help herself.

Carth looked at her incredulously. "What in the name of Yavin are you laughing at?"

"We made it!" Revan crowed, jumping out of her seat and throwing her arms around his neck. "You did it!"

Carth rested a hand on Revan's arm, cracking a smile. "Yeah," he said softly. "We made it." He glanced out through the cockpit windows, checking out the landscape. "Um… Any idea where we are?"

Revan released Carth, glancing at the map. She shook her head. "Nope. According to this thing, we're nowhere. This place apparently doesn't exist."

"Hm." Carth paused, getting to his feet after a moment. "I'd better go check on the engine. It took a beating trying to land us." He threw Revan a final smile, heading off down the hallway.

Revan nodded to herself, sinking down in the pilot's seat. She stared out the window at the terrain; a large, sandy beach littered with the debris of other ships had become their landing pad. Revan's mind drifted as she took in the view, and she imagined for a moment that she could feel Bastila's presence in her mind. "I made it," she whispered. "I made it, Bas. I'm coming, don't worry."

* * *

After running a few scans, Revan concluded that there was a disruptor field emanating from somewhere on the planet. That was what had caused them to crash.

Carth had managed to make repairs to the ship and said that once the disruptor field was shut down, they'd be able to continue on their way.

Mission ran a few scans of her own and found that the field was based inside a large stone structure that stood only a few miles from their location.

Carth and Revan announced to the rest of the crew that they would go and find a way to shut down the field. Mission decided to tag along, and they all went to the dorms to get their weapons and armor.

Upon exiting the _Ebon Hawk_, Revan, Mission, and Carth were immediately approached by a group of aliens unlike any they'd ever seen before. Their skin was a mossy green, their eyes on stalks sticking out from the sides of their heads. The clothing they wore was primitive, as were the weapons in their hands.

Carth's hand went to his blaster cautiously, but that was all it took.

The aliens attacked. With a loud, screeching cry, they all brandished their weapons, racing forward to attack the trio.

Revan swore, pulling out her lightsaber and blocking an attack.

A heated battle ensued, sounds of grunts and crashes of weapons filling their ears.

From somewhere behind them, Revan heard a loud beast roar. She realized a moment later that it was Zaalbar she was hearing. A smile spread across her face. "Great timing, Zaalbar!" she called as Zaalbar ran past her and caught two terrified aliens by their throats.

Zaalbar growled in agreement, tossing the aliens over his shoulder and roaring at the other aliens.

The aliens glanced between each other, dropping their weapons into the sand and raising their hands in the air. "We surrender," the nearest one said.

Revan nodded breathlessly, extinguishing her lightsaber blade. "Good. I have no desire to fight you." She inclined her head in a respectful bow, something that she knew was part of their customs.

Carth, Mission, and Zaalbar all made surprised noises. "Wait a minute," Carth said, stepping toward Revan. "You can… you can understand these… things?!"

Revan glanced at Carth quizzically. "You don't?"

Carth shook his head slowly, his eyes wide.

"Revan," Mission stammered incredulously. "You just spoke their language."

Revan paused, glancing between the aliens and her friends. A strange feeling settled on her shoulders. She turned back to the aliens, returning their even gaze. "My name is Revan," she told them quietly, watching their changing expressions.

The aliens looked among each other, all of them obviously surprised at the news. They all turned to look at the former Sith Lord. "The One has been waiting for you, Lord Revan," they chorused. "Please, come with us."

Revan nodded slowly, her heart pounding with anxiety. She waved to Carth, Zaalbar, and Mission, wordlessly telling them to follow.

The group of aliens turned and began walking along the beach. Revan and her companions followed silently, exchanging glances of unease.

* * *

"I have been waiting for your return, Revan," the alien said. His skin was different than that of his followers; it was a golden hue, rather than the mossy green. That, among other factors that lingered on the edges of Revan's memory, set him apart from the rest of his people. As such, he had been dubbed "the One." Apparently, Revan mused, he was their king.

"You were waiting for me?" Revan questioned, uneasy at being in the middle of the One's royal chamber, surrounded by guards and the One's subjects.

The One eyed her suspiciously, nodding slowly. "Yes. You had promised to come back and teach us…"

Revan inclined her head in a little bow, showing respect once again. "I'm sorry, I've had… a little trouble with my memory lately. Would you mind filling me in on my last visit?"

The One nodded knowingly "Ah, yes. I sensed there was something different about you. Very well. On your previous visit, you were accompanied by a large human. Malak, I believe, was your name for him.

"You were unable to understand our language, so you ripped it out of our minds with a magic you called the 'Force'. Once we could speak to each other, you asked why you had crashed on this planet. I told you of the disruptor field hidden deep within the Temple of the Ancients. I promised that I would aid you in entering the Temple, if you would assist us in our time of need.

"You saw our need for assistance, while Malak did not. You agreed that once you got off this planet, completed your conquest of the string of planets you called the 'Outer Rim', and created the perfect galaxy, you would come back and aid us."

Revan bit her lower lip. She could _almost _remember, but the memory of her own evil scared her, shook her to her core. "Assistance?" she repeated, trying to brush the memory out of her mind. "What kind of assistance did you need?"

"There is another tribe here on this island," the One said, visibly tensing and his voice became hostile. "They oppose us, all our views, everything! They are our arch enemy and we must destroy them!!"

A loud murmur of approval rippled through the One's followers.

Carth, Mission, and Zaalbar shifted uneasily behind Revan.

"It's okay," Revan murmured to her friends, turning her attention back to the One. "Perhaps we could go talk to them and work something out?"

The One let out a deep-throated growl, catching himself a moment later. He closed his eyes and sighed. "You seem very different from the Revan I knew some time ago. Very well," he said, sounding a little more dark. "If you feel that way…" He glanced at his guards, nodding once. "Then I can only assume that you lied to me."

Revan's heart skipped a beat as the crowd hissed. "What?!" she cried. "What did we do to make you think we're lying??"

The One's eyes narrowed. "Anyone that wants to associate with the other tribe is our sworn enemy." The words were spoken with evident disgust. "And anyone that is our sworn enemy must die."

Revan swore, fumbling for her lightsaber.

"What's going on?" Carth asked sharply, reaching for his blaster.

"I think I may have pissed them off," Revan replied, glancing over her shoulder to meet Carth's gaze. "Sorry."

Carth rolled his eyes and ground his teeth frustratedly, his hand closing around the handle of his blaster. He murmured a warning to Mission and Zaalbar, his words not a second too soon.

"Kill them," the One yelled, pulling a quarterstaff from his belt and brandishing it, rushing to meet Revan in battle.

Suddenly, it seemed as though the entire alien enclave's population was bearing down on them, weapons drawn.

"Uh, Big Z? A little help?" Mission asked nervously.

Zaalbar rested a large paw on Mission's shoulder comfortingly, stepping away a moment later. He grabbed the nearest alien, holding it high above his head. With an earsplitting roar, he threw the petrified alien into a group of aliens blocking the exit. The aliens fell to the ground in a heap. Zaalbar growled menacingly at the rest of the aliens.

Most of them shrank back in fear, but the One was locked in fierce combat with Revan.

Zaalbar growled at Mission to get herself and Carth out; he'd follow with Revan. Mission nodded, caught Carth's arm and dragged him toward the exit, throwing one last worried glance over her shoulder.

Meanwhile, Revan was grunting against the One's strength. She mentally cursed the fact that she had Malak had introduced the One to cortosis weave--a material that could coat weapons and make them lightsaber-proof.

The One snarled at her, twisting out of her way unexpectedly. When Revan stumbled, the One dove to strike her, his inhuman strength smashing the quarterstaff into Revan's body.

Revan cried out in pain as the One's staff struck her lower back. She felt her legs go numb, realizing that the staff was either electrically charged or covered with spikes coated with an immobilizing herbal compound.

"Zaalbar!" she cried, rolling onto her back and trying to fight the One's staff away from her head.

Almost immediately, Zaalbar caught the One's arms and forced the staff out of his hands. He lifted the One high into the air, slowly pulling him apart.

"Stop, Zaalbar," Revan panted, forcing herself to sit up and look the One in the eye. If there was any fear within the One, it was masked behind defeat.

"You have won," the alien king said, hanging his head. "Put me out of my misery and shame."

Revan shook her head breathlessly, wiping sweat out of her eyes. "Put him down," she told Zaalbar, turning her attention back to the One. Zaalbar set the alien down reluctantly.

"When I came here last, I was a different person than I am today. I'm still the same Revan, but I'm not consumed by greed and the lust for power to control everything. I'm not evil anymore." She paused to draw a breath, still winded from fighting. "I'm scared that I may have rubbed off on you, made you into someone you're not. I definitely didn't want to do that to you, and I apologize."

The One stared at Revan wordlessly, shocked into silence.

Revan told him a shortened version of her past, describing in detail how the emotions of love and compassion were of the light side and completely opposite of what she'd been before. When she saw that the One wasn't being convinced, she grabbed the first thing that popped into her head. "It takes strength to have these emotions, to be good. Only a strong person can truly be compassionate and kind at heart. I was not strong. I was weak, and if I have made you weak, then I am truly sorry."

That was the ticket. The One apparently didn't like to be called weak. "To be strong, I must help others for no personal gain?" he said slowly, thinking through it as he spoke.

Revan nodded, motioning for Zaalbar to come to her. "Only the strongest of leaders can perfect their compassion and learn to work past differences with others without means of violence." She paused as Zaalbar lifted her into his arms. "I will be in my ship. In two days, I will be waiting for you. If you have become the strong, compassionate leader I know you are, then together we can go to the temple and shut off the disruptor field."

The One nodded slowly, obviously still thinking. He waved at his guards, who stepped out of Zaalbar's way.

"Let's get back to the ship, Zaalbar," Revan murmured, exhausted.

Zaalbar began walking through the path that opened up for them, heading out of the alien enclave.

"I didn't make much sense, did I?" Revan asked quietly, a smile on her face.

Zaalbar made a noise that passed for a chuckle, shrugging his huge hairy shoulders. "You told him that he had been weak in front of his people. No leader likes to appear weak. You did very well, Revan," he growled, walking across the sand quickly.

"Thanks, Zaalbar," Revan sighed, resting against him as they headed back to the _Ebon Hawk_.

* * *

I was sick when I wrote that last part about the One. I didn't really make all together too much sense, can you tell? =] That's the reason Revan asks if she made sense. Anyway. Thanks for sticking with me so far! Not much more until the end!

And now I'm going to ask you guys a question.

Is "frustratedly" a word?

I use it, and I think it is, but MS Word's dictionary doesn't say so. What's your opinion?


	13. Chapter 13

"There we go," Jolee said, injecting his makeshift neutralizer into Revan's hip. He had worked on a neutralizing agent for the compound the One had used against Revan for almost a full day.

Revan winced, a grunt coming through her grit teeth. "That stings," she managed a moment later.

Jolee smiled wearily. "That means it's working, lass."

Revan gave a dry chuckle, watching her legs as she tested her mobility. When her foot responded with a wiggle, a smile stretched across her face. She shot a grateful look toward Jolee. "You did good, old man," she told him with a grin, ducking as he swatted at her playfully. "Now, will you get some sleep? You haven't rested since you started on that neutralizing agent."

Jolee rolled his eyes, muttering something about 'young people these days' as he headed out of the small med bay.

Revan grinned triumphantly, knowing that he was going to go catch up on his sleep. She slowly shifted herself to the edge of the cot she had been confined to for the past day, slipping off it and landing on her feet. The sensation of being able to feel things in her legs was a huge relief.

She walked out of the med bay cautiously, slowly finding her balance and center of gravity all over again. Revan walked into the commons, her hand on the wall to steady herself.

Carth and Mission looked up from their Pazaak game with a start, both bursting into huge grins when they saw their friend up and walking.

"Revan!" Mission cried happily. She glanced down at her hand of cords, laying a few of them down before sticking her tongue out at Carth.

Carth grumbled good-naturedly, having lost the game once again. He laid down his cards and got to his feet, chuckling. He walked over to Revan, tucking his hands in his pockets and leaning against the wall in front of her. "How're you feeling?"

"Better," Revan replied, allowing herself to slump against the wall beside Carth. She didn't say anything for a while, her brow furrowing as she thought.

Carth waited for a moment before speaking. "So," he began, lowering his voice so Mission wouldn't hear them. "Now what? You told me you'd said the aliens could come in two days. It'll have been two days in the morning." He turned a curious eye on Revan. "Do you have a plan?"

Revan sighed. "Not really. I guess if they don't kill me, I'll go into the temple and shut down the disruptor field that's got us grounded here."

Carth nodded slowly. "They better not kill you. We still kinda need your help, what with needing to kill Malak and all."

Revan saw the affection in Carth's expression, smiling at him reassuringly. "Don't worry about me, Carth," she murmured, able to see that he still loved her in his eyes. "I'll be okay."

Carth looked unsure for a moment, sighing a few seconds later. "I guess. It just makes me nervous." He hesitated, chuckling at himself and shaking his head. "You're going to think I'm pitiful, but can I… can I be there with you? When you go to meet them?"

Revan's smile turned into one of friendly affection and she reached up and rested a hand on Carth's shoulder, looking him in the eye. "Thank you," she told him honestly. "I'd really… I'd appreciate it if you were there."

Carth cracked a grin, nodding at her determinedly. "I'll be there."

* * *

The next morning, Revan and Carth exited the _Ebon Hawk_ to find a group of aliens waiting for them. They held weapons in their hands, glancing around warily.

Revan and Carth exchanged a cautious glance before Revan stepped forward. The aliens looked up as she approached, bowing when they saw that it was Revan.

"The One has sent us to escort you to the Temple of the Ancients," the nearest alien said. "He sends his apologies that he himself could not come; he was needed in our enclave."

Revan breathed a sigh of relief, realizing the weapons were not meant to attack her with. "It's okay," she whispered to Carth, sensing him relax. "They're taking us to the temple." She let a smile spread across her face. "Thank you," she told the aliens in their foreign tongue. "Shall we go to the temple now?"

The aliens turned their gazes on Carth. "He must not come. Only one may enter the Temple of the Ancients."

Revan swallowed hard and glanced at Carth. For a moment, his face was hard with determination. Then he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened them again a moment later, throwing Revan a grin. "Hey, good luck," he told her, extending his hand.

Revan shook it firmly, putting a reassuring smile on her face. "Thanks, Carth." She looked at him for a long moment, hugging his quickly. "Don't let anyone else follow me, okay?"

Carth nodded, raising a hand in a final wave before turning and trudging off toward the _Ebon Hawk_.

Revan watched him for a minute, then turned back to the aliens. "I'm ready," she said quietly.

The aliens nodded, beckoning for her to follow as they turned and began picking their way across the beach, toward a large stone spire that was sticking up into the sky a few miles away.

* * *

Revan stared up at the enormous structure before her, her heart pounding. There was a dark presence emanating from within the temple, sending shivers up and down Revan's spine.

Behind her, the aliens were chanting and performing some ancient ritual. When their power was great enough to lower the ancient barrier, Revan was to get into the temple as soon as she could; the strain would be too much for the aliens to hold the barrier open for more than a few minutes.

Just a moment later, the barrier dropped. Revan jumped, remembering what she was supposed to do and darted inside. She heard the barrier raise behind her almost immediately.

The air inside the temple was musty and stale. Revan took only a moment to accustom herself to the air, heading deeper into the temple. She didn't ignite her lightsaber for light, knowing that if there was anyone in the temple, they'd see the blade and attack.

After turning a corner, Revan came upon a droid patrolling the hallway. She froze, hoping the droid wouldn't notice her. As luck would have it, the very next moment, the droid turned in her direction. A light began flashing on its sensor box, signaling the detection of an intruder. Revan swore softly, reaching out with the Force and deactivating the droid.

Revan breathed a sigh of relief, trying to calm herself. Just then, the door to Revan's left opened. A dark Jedi crowed excitedly. "Lord Malak will surely reward me for killing you, Revan!"

"Oh, the hell with it," Revan muttered, pulling out her lightsaber. After a few moments of lightsaber combat, Revan stepped away from the now dead body of the dark Jedi. She healed a small wound on her thigh with the Force, moving on quickly.

Revan encountered a few more dark Jedi and a lot of droids as she searched the temple. When she finally came across a hallway that looked as though it led to a basement, she was nearly spent. For a moment, she entertained the comical idea of sliding down the steep hallway on her rear end, chuckling as she began the precarious descent.

Two more droids were waiting for her when she reached the bottom of the slope. With a surge of Force energy, Revan destroyed them, heading over to a large computer that stood on the other end of the large catacomb.

A metal plate slid out of the way as she approached, exposing a pad for her to lay her hand on. Revan hesitated before gently resting her hand on the plate. The computer scanned her palm, beeping a second later. "Welcome, Revan," it said.

Revan gaped down at the machine. For a moment, she was confused as to how it knew her name. A keyboard appeared just below the computer screen, a cursor flashing on the screen as the computer waited for input. Revan hesitated for a moment, finally resting her hands on the keys and typing in her question.

_How can I shut down the disruptor field?_

"The disruptor field controls are located on the top floor of the Temple of the Ancients," the computer stated.

_How do I get to the top floor of the Temple of the Ancients? _Revan typed.

A map displayed on the screen. "The best route to the top floor of the Temple of the Ancients is marked on the screen."

Revan stared at the map, memorizing the route displayed. She closed her eyes and tried to recall the map from memory, pleased when she checked herself; she'd remembered it perfectly. As she was turning away to head to the top floor, she paused. Revan stared back at the computer, going back to it and typing in another question.

_Who created this terminal?_

"The Builders created this terminal over 20,000 years ago," the computer answered.

_Give me more information about the Builders._

"Information regarding the Builders has deteriorated. Other information regarding the Builder's prize creation, the Star Forge, is still intact. Display information?"

_Yes, display information._

"The Star Forge was created over 20,000 years ago. It is a factory of immense power, though it has many uses that have not been stored in this terminal. Highest known production rate was last recorded as 500%."

Revan suddenly realized why she and Malak had wanted the power of the Star Forge; on their own, they hadn't had much of a fleet to stand up to the Republic forces with. But with the power of the Star Forge, they'd been able to create a fleet big enough to rival the power of the Republic fleet.

_Is there a way to destroy the Star Forge? _Revan typed in uncertainly. If it was the secrets of the Star Forge that had caused her and Malak to fall before, she didn't want that fate for anyone else. She wanted to put a stop to it if she could. The last thing the galaxy needed was more Sith, Revan decided.

"The Builders did not leave instructions for destruction of the Star Forge. It is the apex of their empire; there is no reason to destroy the Star Forge."

Revan nodded at the computer once, knowing it would be of no use to her anymore. She brought up the map once more, giving it one last check before turning and heading back up the hallway. She oriented herself when arrived back on the main level, turning and heading off in the direction specified by the map.

On the way, she encountered only one more patrol droid, something she was happy with; she was already getting tired. After making a wrong turn, she quickly corrected herself and headed the other way, soon coming to a steep incline that led to the roof.

A triumphant smile spread across Revan's face as she began the climb. Soon the disruptor field would be deactivated and they would be able to head to the Star Forge, rescue Bastila, and kill Malak.

When Revan got to the top floor, she paused for a moment to catch her breath. Just as she straightened and started glancing around for a computer panel, she heard a ship land on the outside deck. For a moment, Revan wondered if it was the _Ebon Hawk_, dismissing the idea a moment later as she realized that the ship was grounded completely until the field was disabled.

Revan crept toward the door leading to the deck, using the darkness inside the temple to mask her presence as she tried to see who had landed. A Sith ship, a G-wing to be exact, had just landed on the landing pad beyond the main deck. The cockpit hatch opened and a person climbed out, clad in dark Jedi robes, reaching to their belt and pulling a double-bladed lightsaber off, igniting the crimson blades.

The figure walked to the middle of the main deck, standing there and waiting.

Revan's heart dropped into her stomach and she suddenly felt very sick. It was Bastila.

Just beyond Bastila's ship, Revan could see the computer terminal that most likely contained the controls to the disruptor field. There was no way to sneak past Bastila, so she'd have to face her. Revan felt as though she might cry. The last thing she wanted was to see Bastila converted to the dark side and bent on harming someone.

For a moment, Revan stood in the shadows, wondering what to do. Finally, she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to face Bastila. Revan stepped out of the shadows and walked out onto the main deck, squinting in the sunlight.

"Katrina," Bastila said quietly as Revan approached.

Revan didn't bother correcting Bastila; if Bastila was going to report back to Malak, she'd rather it be a surprise to him that she was Revan again. As she stared at Bastila, she saw some of the more lasting effects of torture. Bastila was very pale and gaunt, her robes almost falling off her sickly thin frame.

"I knew you'd come for me, even though Malak said you wouldn't. He doesn't know you like I do," Bastila said, sneering at Revan.

"Bastila, come on," Revan pleaded, praying it wasn't true. "Come with me and we can escape before Malak shows up."

Bastila laughed, an insane sound that didn't belong to her. "I don't think you understand, Kat. I've sworn allegiance to the Dark Lord. I'm no longer a drone of the Jedi Council!"

"No! Bastila, please, don't do this!" Revan cried, tears burning in her eyes. "Don't go over to the dark side!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Bastila scoffed. "Like it's some terrible entity. It's not! It's true power! That's why the Jedi don't like the idea of the dark side. They want to be omnipotent. They use it as a scary story to tell young Padawans to keep them under their control."

Revan bit back her tears. "Bastila, it's not too late. I can still save you from this. You just have to let me. I don't know what Malak did to turn you, but you're not the woman I fell in love with. I love the strong, good-willed woman that never wanted anything to do with the dark side. She's still inside you, you've just lost her."

Bastila snorted and rolled her eyes. "You are a sad little fool. I'm so much more than the woman you 'fell in love with'. I'm so much more powerful than I was when I was under the delusions the Jedi Council had set upon me. I almost wish you could see things as I do now. I wish you could join me and taste true power once again."

Revan groaned, tears slipping down her cheeks now. "You're believing a lie, Bastila! Please don't take that as the truth! Not when I can help you!"

Bastila growled at Revan. "You're the one believing a lie! Anyone as weak as you deserves to die," she added, twirling her lightsaber in her hand as she readied herself to attack.

"Damn you, Malak!" Revan screamed at the sky, sure her heart was breaking. "Damn you for turning her!!"

Bastila laughed, charging Revan, her blade raised for a deadly strike.

Revan jumped aside, pulling her lightsaber off her belt and igniting the blade. Immediately, she began defending herself against Bastila's blows, using the Force to guide her blade; her eyes were too full of tears to see. "I don't want to hurt you," Revan yelled, dodging a slice aimed for her neck.

"How typically Jedi," Bastila panted, unrelenting in her attacks. "I thought you weren't allowed to feel love," she added tauntingly.

Revan had to bite her tongue to keep from retorting, instead focusing on clearing her vision. She blinked the tears away just in time to see Bastila's red blades on their way toward her head. She threw her lightsaber up to block herself, her heart aching as she realized what she'd have to do. "I'm sorry," she cried, carefully guiding her blade in a graceful strike down Bastila's leg, grazing the flesh just enough to make it hurt.

Bastila screamed, using the Force to jump a few yards away. She scowled down at the nasty gash in her leg, turning her glare on Revan as she healed it with the Force. "You're stronger than I thought. Maybe all the dark power you once possessed as Revan is not completely lost to you, after all."

Revan cried bitterly, unable to stop the tears. "I'm drawing my power from the light now, Bastila. It's more powerful than the dark side will ever be."

Bastila chuckled. "Believe what you will, Revan. I know the truth. I was there, remember, when you fell. I was the one that created our bond. Our destinies are linked!"

"I know," Revan murmured. "That's how I know I'll bring you back to the light side."

Bastila snorted. "You're speaking like a tool of the Jedi Council! You could be so much **more**, Kat! Together, you and I could take down Malak and take over the galaxy! It's as it was meant to be; you with your power and me with mine… If we were to combine our power, together we would be unstoppable!

"Once, years ago, you defied the Jedi Council! You were strong enough to free yourself then, why not now?!" Bastila finished, her eyes holding an insane curiosity. "Join me and we can restore the powerful leader you once were."

"I should have died that day!" Revan yelled, throwing her hands in the air and startling Bastila. "The day Malak attacked me. I should have died! But you were there, you and a few other Jedi! The dark side wouldn't have been able to save me! I _would_ have died, but there was you to save me! And you **did **save me, but you didn't do it with the dark side! You used the light side of the Force and saved a life. The dark side can't do that! It can't!"

"Survival of the fittest," Bastila replied easily, as if the memory didn't mean anything to her. Revan suspected that in her crazed, evil state, it didn't. "When one leader becomes too weak, another rises to take his place. And that's exactly what was supposed to happen. The Jedi had to intervene. I regret being a part of that." She shook her head disgustedly.

"I can't believe this," Revan said. "I absolutely don't believe this. You can't even hear yourself talking over your craving for the 'power' the dark side holds. Learn from my mistakes, Bastila. The dark side will only lead you to defeat and death."

Bastila sighed. "You are a pathetic fool. When you make it to the Star Forge, Malak will crush you like the pitiful insect you are, and then you'll see which side really holds more power!" With a growl, Bastila turned and ran back to her ship, climbing into the cockpit and closing the hatch. A moment later, the ship lifted off and shot into the sky, headed toward the Star Forge.

Revan sank to her knees and watched the ship disappear amongst the clouds. When she could no longer see it, Revan wept.

* * *

Revan returned to the _Ebon Hawk_ as the sun began to set, boarding the ship and heading to the cockpit. Carth sat in the pilot's seat staring out at the ocean. He looked up at her, freezing when he saw the expression on her face. Immediately, Carth leapt to his feet, heading for Revan. "Was Bastila there?" he asked quietly.

The look on his face told Revan that he'd guessed what Bastila meant to her. She nodded miserably, tears filling her eyes once more.

Carth took his friend into his arms and rocked her gently, comforting her as she cried.

Through her tears, Revan told him the whole story of her trip through the temple, including the parts about Bastila. She told him that Bastila had fallen to the dark side and tried to turn her back into Darth Revan.

Carth listened to her, waiting until her story was over to speak. "You shut down the disruptor field, right?" he asked quietly.

Revan nodded, wiping away tears. "It's gone," she mumbled.

Carth grasped her arms and squeezed them gently, putting a comforting smile on his face. "Then let's get the hell off this planet and save your damsel in distress."

Revan managed a small smile, blinking her tears away.


	14. Chapter 14

Revan stood at Carth's side as Carth eased the _Ebon Hawk_ into the Star Forge landing bay.

Carth had sent the Republic army their coordinates once the _Hawk_ was safely off the alien planet, telling them that they'd found the source of the seemingly endless Sith armada. The Republic had sent out a large fleet to the coordinates and by the time the _Ebon Hawk_ had broken free of the alien planet's gravity and returned to the Star Forge's orbit, most of the fleet was in position.

Master Zhar had hailed the _Ebon Hawk_, questioning Revan as to where Bastila was. When Revan explained that she had turned to the dark side, Zhar's expression clouded over. He sighed, nodding once. "We've sent a squadron of Jedi into the Star Forge already, in hopes to help clear the way for you. They're waiting for you inside."

Revan had nodded, bowing and closing the connection. She turned to Carth, who only nodded, having heard the message. She returned the action silently; there wasn't anything to say.

Now, Carth lowered the boarding ramp, and turned off the engine. He sat in his seat for a moment, staring out the cockpit windows at the inside of the Star Forge landing bay. "We made it," he said softly, sounding amazed.

Revan nodded her agreement, her throat and mouth going dry. The power of the dark side in the Star Forge was already almost overwhelming. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer in her mind, turning and heading to the commons to plan the best course of action with the rest of the crew.

* * *

Bastila walked into the control center, her eyes going to her master immediately. She hurried to him, itching to get back to helping the Sith forces. "Master?" Bastila asked as she neared him, trying to keep her voice from sounding whiny. "Why have you summoned me? Without my Battle Meditation, the Republic fleet could break through our forces and attack the Star Forge itself!"

Malak shook his head, staring at a diagnostic that showed the progress of the battle outside. "This will not take too long, my eager apprentice. You will be able to resume your Battle Meditation soon enough." His bionic jaw distorted his voice, making it sound slightly tinny. "I only wanted you to know that Revan is here on the Star Forge."

Bastila inhaled sharply. "Revan?! But--" She mentally corrected Malak, knowing that Revan, the true Revan, was no more; Katrina was the only one left in Revan's mind.

Malak turned a glare on her, silencing Bastila immediately. "The Force is bringing us toward a confrontation with Revan. You must kill her to prove yourself worthy of being my apprentice, Bastila. Finish what you and she started in the Temple of the Ancients on the planet below. Stay here in the control center and use your Battle Meditation until Revan arrives. Then kill her."

Bastila faltered, drawing on the dark power to strengthen her will. "Y-yes, Lord Malak."

Malak nodded at her, turning on his heel and heading for the door. He paused before entering, watching as Bastila sank to the floor and resumed using her Battle Meditation. "Even if you fail," he said quietly, making sure she couldn't hear him. "The distraction you cause will give me enough time to prepare the station for our little showdown. Then we'll see if Revan can stand against the power of the Star Forge!" He laughed to himself, turning on his heel and leaving the room.

* * *

Revan cut through wave after wave of soldiers and droids. There had been a few pockets of dark Jedi, further slowing Revan's advance through the Star Forge. The paths came back to her naturally, and she had no trouble picking her way toward the control center, a place where she knew Malak might be watching the battle that was raging outside the Star Forge.

Carth and Jolee had come with her, but Revan turned them back and sent them back to the _Ebon Hawk_ once she reached the first in a series of decks and elevators. The men had left, but only once Revan promised that she'd return to the _Hawk_ immediately after killing Malak.

Now Revan stepped into the third deck's elevator, the one that would take her to the deck that connected her with the control center. She closed the door and waited as she felt the car rumbling around her. The ancient elevator took its time raising Revan to the top floor, but once it did, Revan burst out of the elevator car and ignited her lightsaber. Sith soldiers and a few dark Jedi were waiting for her.

Revan defended herself, killing the soldiers first. Then she turned on the dark Jedi, who were running at her, lightsabers drawn. She barely dodged a devastating blow, quickly killing her opponent. The other Jedi fell soon after Revan joined into combat with him.

Breathless and slightly injured, Revan walked toward the elevator that led to the control center, her throat tightening. She could sense Bastila's presence, dark and tainted, even with the block Bastila had put on their bond. Malak was nowhere near Bastila, something Revan was thankful for.

As the elevator door slid shut, Revan leaned heavily against the wall, exhausted from the nearly constant battle she'd been waging since she left the _Ebon Hawk_. For a moment, she was so tempted to give in to the dark side; it was calling her, telling her that it could heal her injuries, and give her the power to rescue Bastila from Malak. Revan almost allowed herself to sink into the darkness that threatened to consume her, mentally smacking herself and pulling herself away from the dark, focusing on the lightness that was inside her.

She took a moment to heal her injuries with the Force, feeling a little better after she'd done so. The tightness in her chest that had been caused by sensing Bastila's presence didn't go away, however. Revan closed her eyes, willing herself not to retch. She had hated seeing Bastila so evil on the deck of the temple; she wasn't sure if she could handle it again. And if she ended up with no choice but to kill Bastila… The notion was too horrible to think about.

The elevator came to a halt and the door hissed open. Revan opened her eyes and stepped out of the car, looking down the deserted hallway to the large doors at the other end. Behind them lay the control center, and in there, Bastila was waiting. Revan drew a calming breath, starting toward the doors.

* * *

Bastila opened her eyes as she heard the door hiss open behind her. A smile crept across her face. Katrina had arrived.

"Bastila?" Kat's voice was full of both disbelief and relief.

Bastila got to her feet and turned around, anger and hate still pulsing through her. She surveyed the former Sith Lord, already determining all the ways she could take Katrina down. When her gaze met Kat's, her pulse quickened, her physical attraction to Kat taking over her senses for a moment. She remembered a moment later what her master had ordered her to do, pushing away the warm feelings that had begun to build in her stomach.

"Katrina. I knew you'd come back for me."

Kat looked as though she wanted to say something, though the expression flashed away as quickly as it had come. "I'm not here as your enemy, Bastila."

Bastila laughed. "I suppose you came to save me, is that it? I don't need saving! My eyes have been opened to the true power that the dark side holds! I'm the one that should be saving you."

Kat shook her head disgustedly. "I don't believe this. Are you even listening to yourself?!" She stepped toward Bastila, reaching toward her. "Bastila, this isn't who you are! I know it, and I know you know it. Why are you letting Malak control you?"

Bastila scowled and spat at Kat's feet. "You weakling. How dare you speak my Master's name!" She reached into her robe and pulled out her lightsaber, igniting the crimson blade.

Kat looked as though she might cry when she saw the red blade and the sneer on Bastila's face.

Bastila only smiled wider, throwing herself at Katrina. She made sure her attacks were swift and unpredictable, surprised when Kat found time to throw in attacks of her own. Too soon, she had to leap away, having sustained a wound that nearly cost her her life.

"I see," she murmured as she drew upon the dark side to heal her wounds. She looked up at Kat a moment later, noticing Kat's panting with a smile. "Now I know why Malak followed you; even though you're a shell of your former self, you're still a formidable opponent! I can't even fathom how powerful you must have been when you were Darth Revan!"

"I'm stronger now that I'm part of the light. I'm stronger than I ever was when I was Sith," Kat responded quietly, her expression clouding over as she looked at the woman before her. "The dark side is destroying you, Bastila. Can't you see that?"

Bastila spat on the floor, snarling at Kat. "The dark side has made me stronger than I ever was before! And don't say that all I'll accomplish is death and destruction. It's so much more than that! As Malak teaches me more and more, I'll surpass everyone! Even Malak himself!"

"He'll kill you first, Bas!" Kat cried, looking terrified at the prospect. "Don't you know the way of the Sith?! When someone becomes too powerful, they get proud and that's their downfall! Malak'll see it coming, and he'll kill you! Even if you were to kill him, all you'd be doing is dooming yourself to an endless cycle of death! You don't want that! Not if you're the Bastila I know!"

"No, Kat, you're the one doomed to death," Bastila retorted, feeling a little disappointed that Kat wasn't seeing the light, or, dark, as it just so happened to be.

Once again, lightsaber blades crashed in the control center.

Bastila tried to catch Kat by surprise more than once, failing each time. She parried Kat's attacks quickly, launching her own barrage of attacks. Kat dodged them skillfully, exhibiting the grace that she'd always contained.

"I'm not going to kill you," she told Bastila as they locked blades, straining against each other.

"Weakness," Bastila snarled and spun out of the lock, causing Kat to stumble forward. She slammed her lightsaber hilt down on Kat's back, causing her to fall to the floor. "You're getting tired, I can sense it! While you tire, trying to focus on your precious light side, the dark side re-energizes me! Soon, I will rise to victory!"

"Then kill me," Kat replied evenly, getting to her feet. "You're not evil, Bas, I believe that! You can't kill me!"

Bastila snorted, healing what minor wounds she had sustained with the Force. "You don't get it, do you? I'm Sith! I'm Malak's apprentice! You're in the way of my advance! You must die!" Again, she lunged at Kat, her mind focused on killing the woman that stood before her. But something deep inside her mind quietly agreed with what Katrina was saying. _You're not evil, _the voice in her mind said. _You can't kill her. You love her._

Bastila faltered as she listened to the voice inside her, knowing it couldn't be Kat's; Bastila had blocked their bond when she was first captured by Malak. She hesitated only a moment when she had an opportunity to strike, studying Kat's face. Determination to save Bastila was there, mixed with love…

Just then, Kat's lightsaber met Bastila's, knocking Bastila off balance. Kat looked horrified as Bastila stumbled into the path of her lightsaber; it was too late to stop her. The green blade cut a large gash across Bastila's back, exposing a large area of raw flesh.

Bastila screamed, pain flooding her senses.

"SHIT!" Kat cried. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!!"

Bastila collapsed to the floor of the Star Forge. Her lightsaber tumbled out of her hand, her breathing ragged and shallow. The look of love that had been on Kat's face hung in her mind's eye, reminding her what life had been like before the Sith. She saw how stupid she was being, feeling the darkness that had a hold on her mind loosening. "Kill me," she begged, knowing that she was worthless both as a Jedi and as a Sith. To have fallen so far to the dark side, only to be defeated… She was a failure at both. "Take pity on me and kill me."

"No," Katrina replied firmly, kneeling at Bastila's side, wiping tears out of her eyes. "I'm not going to do that, Bastila."

Tears burned in Bastila's eyes, both of pain and shame. She rolled away from the sound of Katrina's voice, screwing her eyes shut. The metal edges of the floor dug into her body, more pain shooting through her. "Kat, if you ever loved me--"

"What do you mean 'ever'?" Kat asked softly, touching Bastila's arm gently. "I do love you, Bastila. I always will."

"I'm dark side," Bastila protested weakly. "Just kill me. It'll be easier."

"No, Bastila," Kat said firmly, her voice determined, yet gentle. "You're not evil. Think about it. You didn't kill me. You couldn't." She sighed before continuing. "I don't think Malak prepared you for this. I think this is something he forgot to count on. He forgot that you and I are connected by something bigger than him or the Force." Kat drew a breath, continuing a moment later. "Bastila, I did a lot of thinking and meditating while Malak had you. I hate myself for what I did to you, leaving you the way I did."

"I sacrificed myself," Bastila corrected, wiping away her tears in vain.

"No," Kat replied, suddenly sounding pained. "Before. When I left with Malak to fight. I… I shouldn't have ever let myself leave at a time like that, no matter what was going on elsewhere. Not when I left so much at stake."

Bastila fell silent with surprise, drawing a shaky breath and wincing as pain shot through her torso. "You were concerned about the galaxy as a whole. Every living thing was at stake."

"Maybe," Kat agreed. "But not the thing that mattered the most. I thought about you the whole time I was fighting. Every Mandalorian I killed felt like one step closer to going back to you. But I thought… The way you acted when you walked out on me, I thought you hated me. Everything I lived for was gone." She sighed. "And it was my own damn fault. Bastila, I'm so, _so _sorry."

The apology was filled with such sincere emotion that it made Bastila's heart ache. Something inside her wanted so desperately to believe that Kat had actually remembered the encounter, but something else forced her to hold back. She choked as she drew a breath, keeping herself from bursting into tears. "Revan?" she whispered. "Is it really you? Or more Council-programmed memories?"

"It's really me, Bas," Revan replied softly, her voice shaking. "I'm finally back."

Bastila felt the cool aura of Revan's Force healing encompass her body, feeling her wounds close and heal themselves. The pain in her body dissipated, and she lifted herself into a sitting position, blinded by the tears in her eyes.

She was suddenly surrounded by a pure feeling of love, more powerful than she had ever felt. Something warm and familiar wrapped itself around her, healing her once broken heart and filling it with peace as the darkness Malak had placed there vanished. Bastila realized it was Revan's arms around her and sank into them, bursting into tears of relief and joy. Revan, _her_ Revan, was back.

The sense of loneliness and regret that had been sitting in Bastila's chest as a dead weight for the past year since Revan had 'died' lifted. Elation and tranquility took its place, taking Bastila to a level of happiness that she had forgotten existed. She lifted the block she'd put on their bond and clutched at the back of Revan's robe, burying her face in Revan's shoulder. She felt Revan's shoulders shudder with crying, hugging Revan tightly. "Don't cry," Bastila whispered, holding Revan close as tears slipped down her own cheeks.

"I can't help it," Revan replied, her voice shaking and thick with emotion. "I've finally got you back."

They both began searching for each other at the same moment, their lips meeting in a glorious kiss. More tender than any kiss they had ever shared before, they both trembled at the touch of the other. The kiss was only broken when neither could breathe.

They grinned at each other, Revan wiping Bastila's tears away. She sighed, resting her forehead against Bastila's and staring into her striking gray eyes. "Bastila… I can't do this. He's too strong."

Bastila held Revan a little closer. "Yes, you can, Revan. I believe in you."

Revan managed a weak smile. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything," Bastila replied immediately.

"Use your Battle Meditation and help the Republic break through the Sith lines. And the minute they do, get back to the _Hawk._" Revan's smile faded. "Don't wait for me if I'm not there already."

Bastila faltered a little. "Revan, I…" She paused, considering what to do. Finally she set in her lips in a firm line and tried to transfer her energy to Revan.

Revan shook her head and blocked the transfer. "Don't, Bas. You need your strength to get out of here."

Bastila started to protest, stopping when she saw that Revan was going to have none of it. Bastila frowned, hesitating. There was so much she wanted to say, and so little time… Words suddenly began pouring from within her without a conscious effort. "Rev, ever since the day you lost your memories, I've felt so _lost_. You weren't there to guide me, help me, or love me when I needed you the most."

Revan opened her mouth to apologize, hushed when Bastila rested her first two fingers on Revan's lips.

"But I got through it. I had trouble realizing that you were really there for me the whole time, resting right over my heart." Bastila paused, reached for the chain around her neck, and pulled the pendant into plain view. "I knew you were there as Katrina, but I wanted _this _you." She nodded at Revan to emphasize her point. "And this… this necklace was my shield. It felt like you were there protecting me the whole time."

Bastila reached around behind her neck and slipped the chain over her head. She transferred it to Revan's neck the next moment, grinning at the sight, just as she had years ago. "Let this," she said as she touched the pendant gently, infusing some of her power into it, "be your shield. Let me help protect you, Revan. I love you too much to let you die."

Revan's eyes filled with tears. She hugged Bastila to her tightly, burying her face in Bastila's shoulder. "I love you, Bastila," she mumbled, detangling herself a moment later. "I'll give it my damndest, I promise."

Bastila got to her feet, helping Revan up and gazing at her. "Just so long as you come back alive." She took Revan's hand in hers, channeling more of her own energy through the contact and giving Revan strength.

Revan was surprised at first, finally accepting the power with a smile. She stroked Bastila's cheek gently. "I'll come back," she promised quietly, kissing Bastila fleetingly before turning and stepping away. She glanced over her shoulder a moment later. "Where'd he go?"

Bastila pointed to a door on the far side of the control center, restraining herself from rushing over and catching Revan in another kiss. She was too overjoyed for words that Revan had returned to speak any more. She grinned, blowing Revan a kiss.

Revan pretended to catch it, grinned her thanks, and turned, dashing off the way Malak had left.

Bastila stared after her, sending a silent prayer to the Force to keep Revan safe. As the door hissed shut behind Revan, Bastila dropped to the floor and began focusing her Battle meditation to the Republic warships. She could feel the hope spreading through the army, hear their shouts of relief and joy. When she felt the far off rumble of an explosion, Bastila knew her work was done.

Just then, she _felt_ Revan scream. She could feel the panic and pain rushing through Revan, feel the overpowering darkness that was Malak. She paused, getting to her feet.

Revan apparently sensed this, hurriedly telling Bastila, _Don't come! I'm fine, just stay away._

Bastila was silent, listening and sensing things. She felt Malak's barrage of attacks, felt Revan's pain as she failed to dodge an attack. It was right then that all the things Revan and Katrina had told her struck home. All the things they had told her about doing what she felt was right, not what the Council or anyone else told her to finally had meaning and made sense. She grabbed her lightsaber off the floor, turning on her heel and dashing toward the elevator.

_Stay away, Bas! He's too strong! _Revan cried through their bond, sounding horrified that Bastila was coming.

_Exactly,_ Bastila replied_. Now shut up and fight. You are **not** going to die before I get there._

Indignation flowed through their bond as Bastila darted into the elevator. She paced back and forth in the small space, waiting as she rode up through the countless floors between her and Revan and Malak. Finally, she heard the elevator grinding to a halt, her hand tightening around her lightsaber hilt.

The door hissed open, revealing Malak knocking Revan over with a Force push, his lightsaber already on its way toward her limp body.

Bastila snarled, lunging out of the elevator toward the fighting duo. Her lightsaber blade shot out of the hilt as she hurtled toward Malak. She was thrilled when she realized that she'd caught Malak by surprise, throwing her body weight toward him.

Malak stumbled, but didn't fall to the ground. The distraction allowed Revan time to get off the floor and leap away, but Bastila wasn't so lucky. With Malak's sights set on her, Bastila was in immediate danger. Malak caught her with the Force, strangling her as he tossed her across the room into a vat filled with formaldehyde and a dead Jedi's body.

Bastila, who was choking and couldn't breathe, felt the dead body land on top of her as the glass shattered, pushing it off quickly as she scrambled to get to her feet.

"Let go of her, Malak!!" Revan roared, throwing her lightsaber directly toward Malak's chest.

Malak laughed, blocking the weapon with his own easily. "Still together after a devastating injury that left you clueless, hmm? You must be destined for each other, Revan." He deepened the power of his Force choke on Bastila, who was paling as she stumbled toward Revan, her lightsaber in her hand. "Of course, your destiny may have just led you to me so I could have the pleasure of killing you both."

Revan pulled her lightsaber back toward her, leaping toward Malak. She placed herself between Malak and Bastila, her blade drawn. "Leave her alone, Malak!" she screamed, now more afraid for Bastila than anything else; she was numbed to her own injuries because of her fear. "I'm the one you want dead, remember?!"

Malak laughed again, shaking his head. "You're still just the same, Revan. Always worried about Bastila, no matter if you're facing certain death." He snorted. "I never did understand you. I don't know why she means so much to you, even now that you know she fed you lies the whole time you were with her!"

_Revan, don't give in to him, _Bastila begged in Revan's ear_. Please, stay strong._

_Bastila, I'm so, so sorry I dragged you into this. Don't die. Not here, not now._

_Just keep yourself safe, Rev. That's all I care about._

_But--_

Malak lifted Bastila high into the air and then slammed her to the floor with the Force, a sickening crunch accompanying the noise. Bastila lay motionless on the floor, her lightsaber rolling out of her now limp hand. Malak laughed, turning on Revan. He once again brandished his lightsaber, knowing Bastila was unable to help fight.

_Bastila? _Revan called, her heart sinking when she was met with silence. Something deep inside her ached with grief. Malak had killed her. Bastila, the only thing she had left, was gone. Something in Revan's chest told her to go back to Bastila and try to revive her, but the other part of her was filled with rage. Tears burned in Revan's eyes, and she lunged at Malak, pure hate in her heart, revenge on her mind.

Revan's sudden barrage of attacks surprised Malak. The strength of her blows forced him back until he was standing against the wall. He could feel the advantage he had had slipping away, taking a sudden risk and sending Revan flying back with a Force Push. He then erected a Force Shield around himself, preventing Revan from reaching him.

Revan was on her feet again in a second, rushing toward Malak as tears streamed down her cheeks. "You son of a BITCH!" she screamed at him. "You killed her!! Damn you, Malak, I'll kill you!!"

Malak couldn't help himself. He laughed, healing himself with the Force. "Now, Revan," he mocked her. "Don't give in to your emotions. That's not the way of the Jedi."

Revan snarled at him, breaking through his barrier with a burst of the Force and slashing her blade across his chest. She knew immediately that it was the only stroke she needed. She saw bone and blood falling to the floor around his feet.

Malak hadn't been paying attention at the most crucial time, and realized that he had just lost. His lightsaber tumbled out of his hand of its accord, his knees growing weak. He collapsed, dropping to his hands and knees. "Im… Impossible," he groaned. "I can't be beaten! I'm the Dark Lord of the Sith."

"You just got your ass whooped," Revan informed him, tears pouring down her cheeks. "And you deserved it. The one Jedi that should have lived through this didn't, and it's your fault. Not to mention all the other people you killed. I think this is fair."

Malak was silent for a moment, finally nodding. "You're right, Revan. This wasn't my destiny, after all. It may have been yours, but never mine. I wonder, if our positions had been reversed, would the outcome have been the same?"

Revan spat on the deck in front of him. "If our positions had been reversed none of this would have happened. You were the one to fall first, remember, and you dragged me down with you. And I didn't realize it until it was too late. I wouldn't have let either of us fall if it had been me. There wouldn't have been a confrontation like this." She sank to her knees, resting her hand on his bald head. "I'm so sorry for all of this, Malak," she whispered, numbing him to his pain. He had still been her friend, no matter what, and she wouldn't let him die a horrid death, even if she knew it was what he deserved.

Malak looked up at Revan with wonder in his eyes. "Even…" he murmured, pausing to cough. "Even after all this, you're still the model Jedi, Revan. And here I am, lost in evil. It's as it was meant to be," he mumbled, his strength leaving him. "Such is the way of the Sith; all things end in darkness."

Revan nodded, turning away respectfully so she wouldn't see him die. She sat there and cried when she heard him collapse, knowing that Malak was no more. But none of the tears she shed were for Malak. A single one was for all the pain she had wrought upon the galaxy as Darth Revan, but all the rest were for Bastila.

Revan crawled toward Bastila, all the pain of her own injuries flooding her nervous system. She briefly wondered how she had managed to fight Malak and win. But then Bastila was right there in front of her, lying limp on the deck, face down in a pool of blood.

Revan wanted to die right there, alone with the only person she loved. She gently rolled Bastila's body over, grabbing her own robe and gently mopping the blood off Bastila's face. Something inside her felt sick when she realized that all she was doing was spreading it around; her robe was soaked with her own blood. Revan threw the robe aside, using her sleeves instead.

A few moments later, Bastila's face was clean save a gash near her hairline that was still slowly oozing blood, her face still contorted slightly with pain.

The station rumbled and shook beneath Revan as she moaned miserably, taking Bastila's hand. She pressed Bastila's hand to her heart, her grief overtaking her as she let her chin sink to her chest. She didn't care if the Republic blew her to space dust anymore. Nothing mattered. Bastila was dead.

"… Rev…" The sound was nothing more than a whisper.

Revan's head snapped up, the tears in her eyes clearing as if commanded to do so. Bastila was frowning faintly, her eyes closed, her expression one of pain. Her lips moved slightly, forming words. "Bastila?!"

Bastila shook her head faintly, wincing at the motion. "Can't breathe," she mumbled, sounding weaker by the moment.

Revan glanced at Bastila's chest, noticing for the first time that Bastila's collarbone was snapped and pushed down into her chest, and Revan hazarded a guess that it was shoved down into her lung. A few ribs also looked flattened, and Bastila's left arm lay at an unnatural angle. "Holy shit," Revan breathed, gripping Bastila's hand a little tighter. "It's okay," she reassured Bastila, hating that she had to lie. "You're fine, but we need to get out of here. Can you make it with me?"

Bastila was silent for a moment, still not opening her eyes. "I … think so," she managed, giving Revan's hand a faint squeeze.

"Good," Revan replied, sounding braver and more assured than she felt. She thought only for a moment about how to transport Bastila back to the _Ebon Hawk,_ ready with her plan a second later. "Okay, Bas, this might hurt, but you'll be okay. I'll heal you up as we go, okay?"

Bastila nodded, her eyelids fluttering.

Revan gently grabbed Bastila's good arm and hauled her up onto her shoulders. She readjusted Bastila a moment later, getting to her feet with Bastila on her back, piggyback style, just as she had years before when Bastila had been injured in the crystal cave. Revan stumbled for a moment under Bastila's weight, steeling herself against it and heading for the elevator.

"You win?" Bastila asked softly, her head resting against Revan's shoulder. Her arm was wrapped around Revan's neck gently, enough to support herself but not enough to choke Revan, showing that Bastila was making a conscious effort to not to hurt Revan.

"Yeah," Revan replied, her eyes on her destination. She forced herself to keep walking forward, knowing both her and Bastila's lives were at stake. "Malak's gone."

Bastila stroked Revan's shoulder gently as a gesture of approval and pride, a small smile on her face. "Good." She fell silent not long after that, worrying Revan as they reached the elevator.

"Hey, Bas?" Revan called softly as the elevator door hissed shut behind her. She punched the button for the hangar, feeling the car slowly begin to move. "You still okay?"

Bastila made a soft sound in the back of her throat. "Hurts to breathe," she mumbled.

Revan turned her head slightly, resting her cheek against the top of Bastila's head. "I know. You'll be okay." She drew a breath and cleared the blood from Bastila's lungs with the Force, though she knew more would trickle in from the broken collarbone and ribs wedged into the tissue. Bastila's breathing immediately sounded less halting and painful.

"Thanks," she whispered, sounding more comfortable for the time being.

Revan, feeling weak from the healing and the battle with Malak, smiled with relief. "You're welcome. Just stay with me. Don't die on me."

"I won't," Bastila promised faintly, using her good arm to hug Revan's neck gently.

The elevator shifted under Revan's feet as an explosion shook the Star Forge. Revan stumbled, nearly toppling over before she caught herself. She heard Bastila's breathing slow, panic racing through her. Revan stared at the elevator door, willing it to open. She knew Bastila was getting weaker with every passing moment.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the door hissed open. The _Ebon Hawk_ sat waiting, all the engines humming and ready to go.

Carth stood outside the ship, watching anxiously. He raced toward Revan and Bastila, trying to take Bastila from Revan to lighten Revan's load.

Bastila whimpered in protest at the same time as Revan snapped at Carth not to touch Bastila. He stepped away reluctantly, helping Revan onto the ship and raising the boarding ramp.

Revan immediately headed for the small medbay, fighting away the darkness threatening to take her away into unconsciousness. She was faintly aware of Mission screaming and Zaalbar's grunting as he held Mission back from racing to Bastila and Revan's aid.

Jolee stood waiting in the medbay door, as if he had expected the injuries, stepping aside as Revan walked in with a now barely conscious Bastila. Revan laid Bastila down on the bed with the utmost care, being as gentle as she could.

The moment she got Bastila off her back, Revan's legs went weak, her vision dimming. She felt herself collapsing, felt hands grabbing her and carrying her away. "No," she protested, closing her eyes as the darkness swirled closer. "Help Bas… She's worse…"

A sound like someone screaming echoed in Revan's ears, lost in the darkness as it consumed her and the pain went away.

* * *

Long, wasn't it? =]  
I couldn't find any decent place to cut it off, so I just kept writing. And if you noticed that Master Vandar doesn't exist, you get brownie points. =]

And I know that it switched from Revan back to Kat suddenly. I started writing this story mostly from Bastila's viewpoint, and decided it was too hard to stick with, what with there being a lot of things that happened with Revan that would have been behind the scenes. So I rewrote most of this story; that part remains from before, and besides, it starts focusing mainly on Bastila. Since she didn't know Kat was Revan again, I thought it fitting to write it as such.

Reviews would be great!


	15. Chapter 15

_Why does it hurt so much to breathe? _Bastila wondered, shifting to make herself more comfortable, only finding that pain nearly caused her to retch. She opened her eyes, waiting for them to focus and adjust to the bright lights in the ceiling above her. She was surprised to find that she was in the Ebon Hawk's medbay. The last thing she remembered was waiting for Katrina to come and fight her on the Star Forge.

She drew a shallow breath, coughing violently. Her heart pounded nervously when she tasted blood. With the taste of the blood, everything came flooding back. She remembered her valiant attempt to save Kat that had resulted with her own injuries rendering her unconscious, while Kat fought for her life. Then she remembered Revan was back. Bastila's stomach lurched. Had she just been imagining it? Surely, Revan wasn't back. The Council had said there was no way Jedi Revan could ever return…

A very tired looking Jolee walked in, grinning at her. "Good to see you up," he greeted, heading to his medicine cabinet. "Don't mind me, I'm just getting some more pain meds for Revan. She keeps knocking the damn stuff out of my hands!"

"Revan?" Bastila rasped, surprised that her throat was as dry as it was. "You mean… she's actually back?"

Jolee nodded, chuckling as he walked to her side. "Yep. She's the one that saved your life. She wouldn't even let anyone touch her until she was sure you were okay." He checked her vitals before checking the wound on her forehead. "Thanks to her, you'll be just fine," he continued. "A few more minutes and you would have filled your lungs with blood. Wouldn't have been pretty."

Bastila shifted again, cursing softly when she realized that her arm was broken. "How long until I can use my arm?" she asked, her mind spinning with questions about Revan that were slowly getting answered as she remembered more and more.

Jolee shrugged. "A few weeks, probably. I find that it's best to let broken bones heal naturally. Using the Force for things like that just doesn't cut it unless the healer is extremely in tune with the Force or is just lucky. A kolto injection will do some good, though I also found that ground gizka feces under your tongue will do just a little better. " He seemed to realize that he was being conversational, changing his tone. "Anyway, have you been coughing up any more blood?"

Bastila nodded weakly, a dull ache settling in on her whole body. "A little."

"Good girl." Jolee nodded his approval. "I think you're probably about done with that anyway. Last scan I did didn't show much more in there." He patted the top of her head gently, knowing that everywhere else on Bastila's body hurt. "Hang in there," he told her, grabbing a few packs full of medicine. "You'll make it. Now, don't mind me. I'll be back in a little while; I've got to go check on Revan."

He turned to leave, only to find that Bastila had caught his sleeve with her good hand. She was staring up at him anxiously, and he knew immediately that she was thinking about Revan. "I'm trying my best, lass," he said quietly. "She nearly killed herself getting you back here."

Bastila's face fell. "I… Is she conscious?" she asked, her voice betraying the guilt in her heart.

Jolee nodded slowly. "I think so. She's responsive enough to be able to fight me away when I try to get close, so I haven't been able to do anything for the pain. But she hasn't spoken anything intelligent since she told me to help you first."

Bastila closed her eyes, drawing a long breath. When she finally opened her eyes, Jolee was heading for the door. "Where is she?" Bastila called, a determined spark flickering and growing into a flame inside her chest.

Jolee paused, turning to assess Bastila. "I don't think that's such a good idea, lass. You're still weak enough as it is, and walking around wouldn't do much good for that collarbone of yours." He was silent for a moment, pursing his lips as he saw Bastila gaze back at him defiantly. "Well, let me at least help you up," he conceded finally, heading back to Bastila's side.

She shook her head, shaking his hands off of her. "I can do it," she murmured, using her good arm to lift herself into a sitting position. Pain flickered across her face briefly before she fought it off, swinging her legs off the side of the bunk. Bastila slid off the bed and landed on her feet, her knees deciding to be traitorously weak.

Jolee caught her gently, grabbing her good arm and helping her keep her balance. "Whoa there, a little unsteady on our feet, hmm? Come on," he added in a more fatherly tone, resting a hand on Bastila's arm and leading her to the women's dorm.

By the time they reached the door, Bastila was feeling more energized and more like herself. She declined Jolee's help just outside the entrance to the dorm, thanking him before stepping in. Her eyes immediately fell on Revan, who was lying in her bunk, her face pale and covered with sweat. Revan's eyes were closed, though her face showed that she was battling with pain. Her arms twitched of their own accord, her breathing coming in short, shallow gasps.

Bastila's heart sank as she went to Revan's side and knelt, resting her bad arm on the bed gently. She reached up and brushed Revan's hair out of her eyes, startled when Revan twisted violently under her touch. Revan tried to fight Bastila away, though her body was too exhausted and weak to even lift her arm.

"Hush, Revan," Bastila whispered, stroking Revan's hair softly. "It's me. Just relax."

Revan frowned, confusion mingling with the pain on her face. "Bastila?" she mumbled, looking hopeful for a brief moment.

"Yes, Revan, I'm here." Bastila noticed Revan's hand flexing as though she was trying to move it, reaching down and taking Revan's hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

Somehow, Revan managed to smile, returning the gesture. After a moment's struggle, she opened her eyes and gazed at Bastila for a moment, her smile widening. "You're okay," she breathed, sounding relieved.

"Thanks to you," Bastila replied, grinning back at Revan.

"I've been worried," Revan mumbled. "Didn't want you to die on me."

Bastila chuckled, the action hurting enough to make her wince. "I'm not going to, Rev. I'm going to be fine. But you've been fighting Jolee away every time he's tried to help. Let him help you, Revan," she pleaded. "I know you're hurting, and I know he can help you get better."

"I'm not that bad," Revan protested weakly. "Just a little banged up."

Jolee, who had waited in the hall until an opportune moment for him to enter, made his entrance. "So long as 'a little banged up' includes a lovely gash in your leg, some Force Lightning burns, a festering wound in your abdominal cavity, a fractured femur, and a sprained shoulder, I must say that I agree one hundred percent," he retorted sarcastically. "You're in bad shape, lass."

"No wonder I feel like shit," Revan grumbled, sounding more awake. "Am I really that bad?"

"You'll be okay," Jolee said reassuringly as he grabbed a kolto injection from the supplies he'd brought. "I know you enjoy playing the hero, but sometimes you just have to rest."

Bastila gripped Revan's hand a little tighter, grinning in spite of herself. "See, I told you a _long _time ago that I was too heavy for you to carry. You're finally paying the price with a sprained shoulder."

Revan smiled. "It's not my fault someone was sneaking all the candy from the mess hall."

Bastila chuckled, stroking Revan's hair gently. "I missed you, Rev."

"I missed you, too," Revan murmured, glancing up at Jolee as he prepared the injection. "Shoot me up, old man," she told him, grinning weakly. She inched a little closer to Bastila and put an arm around Bastila's thin frame, cuddling her close. "I _hate _needles," she whispered, tensing as Jolee lifted a flap near the hem of her tunic and swabbed the area with an antiseptic.

"Just relax and it won't hurt," Bastila soothed, wrapping her good arm around Revan's shoulders gently.

Revan, of course, did nothing of the sort, hissing when Jolee inserted the needle. She relaxed when the healing fluid coursed through her system and cooled some of the burning wounds. Immediately, she felt a little better, feeling some of her strength return.

Jolee injected a few more kolto rounds into Revan's body, preparing a sedative to help her sleep.

"Hey, Jolee?" Revan asked just as he injected the sedative. "Get something for Bastila, will you? She's in a lot of pain."

Bastila shook her head at the older man. "I'm fine," she told him. "Just a little achy."

"Whatever," Revan retorted sleepily, her eyelids drooping. "You've got a couple broken bones. I don't think that's just a 'little achy', Bas. Sounds like it hurts like hell. Besides, I can feel it through our bond."

"I'm fine," Bastila repeated, glancing at Revan with annoyance. "And besides, I'll bet I feel better than you!"

"Give it to her anyway," Revan mumbled stubbornly, smiling as she heard Jolee rifle through his supplies and pull out another kolto injection. She closed her eyes as she snuggled into Bastila's chest, dropping off to sleep a moment later.

"It can't hurt," Jolee said as he shrugged, grinning.

Bastila rolled her eyes, defeated.

* * *

Bastila opened her eyes when a twinge of pain shot up through her arm. She blinked a few times, realizing that Revan was snuggling closer to her in her sleep. She reached out with the Force and found that Jolee had lifted her onto the bed beside Revan when Bastila had finally fallen asleep, leaving them alone.

Bastila made a mental note to thank Jolee, testing her broken collarbone by drawing a deep breath. She winced, taking a shallower breath. By the feel of it, Jolee had moved the half of the bone that had punctured her lung out of her chest, placing it back where it was supposed to go. The break still hadn't closed up and was very tender, but it would heal soon.

Revan drew a breath, sighing in her sleep. Bastila's thoughts immediately flew to Revan's injuries, worry flickering in her brain. What if Jolee hadn't been able to help her in time? What if Revan was just more comfortable for her last days? What if--

"Bas?" Revan murmured softly, waking up a little bit. She stroked Bastila's back gently, staring into Bastila's eyes sleepily. "What's wrong?"

Bastila hesitated. "Nothing," she lied. "Sorry."

Revan rolled her eyes, sighing. "You're a horrible liar. And besides," she added. "I could feel you stressing out through our bond. C'mon, Bas, just tell me what's wrong."

Bastila wet her lips before speaking, phrasing her response. "Well, I was thinking about how lousy we both feel." She smirked, shifting and wincing in Revan's arms. "But I was worrying about you," she added at the unenthusiastic look on Revan's face.

"Bastila," Revan murmured gently, taking Bastila's face in her hands. "I'll be okay. I can't die now, anyway. Now we've got our whole lives ahead of us, just you and me. We're together again, and I love you," she finished, a smile growing on her face. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to let that go."

Bastila grinned back, realizing that Revan's fighting nature was still strong. There was no way Revan was going down without a fight, and knowing Revan, she wouldn't go down at all. Bastila ignored a sharp pain in her ribs as she drew Revan close, snuggling into her arms. "I love you, too, Rev."

They were both silent for a moment, reveling in each other's presence. It had been too long since the last time they had been alone.

"Hey, Bastila? I forgot to mention something to you," Revan said, suddenly sounding uncomfortable.

Bastila raised her eyebrows, letting her expression ask the question.

"I… um…" Revan frowned, averting her gaze. She seemed to be trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to. "Well, when we first left the _Leviathan_, I was still reeling from finding out I was Revan. But everyone here, Mission especially, was really supportive and told me that they didn't care, that I wasn't that person. Everyone except Carth.

"I mean, I'd just regained my memory, so I knew who I was. But, still, Carth's one of my best friends here on this ship. It was killing me that he wouldn't even look in my direction. But then, I caught him alone and he told me he was sorry. And…"

Bastila waited a few seconds, finally prompting Revan to continue. "And what?"

Revan frowned again, finally looking at Bastila. "He told me he loves me."

Bastila did her best to keep her face nonchalant, though she knew Revan could probably see right through it. Inside, her heart was tightening with anxiety. "And do you love him?"

Revan smirked. "I'm gay, Bas. What do you think?" She laughed before continuing. "No, I don't. He's my friend, but that's it. Besides, I was head over heels for you from the moment I first heard you speak."

"The accent gets 'em every time," Bastila joked.

Revan laughed. "That was part of it, but… I don't know. There was just something about you. I was so… captivated by you. I saw you crying and wanted so bad just to give you a hug and tell you it would all be okay, but I was a little scared to. I didn't know if you'd think that was weird. But something inside me just told me that I needed to get to know you and love you. I didn't say that then, of course," she finished. "You would have thought I was crazy."

Bastila only smiled. "Maybe. But I'm glad you at least talked to me. Without you, I don't know what would have happened… All I can say is thank you."

"Well, we both probably would have ended up falling for Malak, and fighting over him all the time. And you know that would have just been silly," Revan replied, grinning at Bastila with a raised eyebrow. Something flashed across her face as Bastila shot Revan a dry look. "By the way, Bas, I've got something to tell you."

"What is it this time?" Bastila asked, feigning exasperation. She focused her Force energies on healing her broken arm as she watched Revan grin secretively.

"We got a message from your mom while you were asleep. Carth told me," Revan said when she saw the quizzical look on Bastila's face. "She was on Coruscant in one of the hospitals when she sent it. She said she was going to get out of there and wanted you to come visit her soon."

Bastila frowned nervously. "Get out? Why? What's wrong? Did she hate it there and leave to… go on in peace?" She knew her questions sounded angst-ridden, but she couldn't help it. Since she had last encountered her mother on Tatooine, something in Bastila's heart had opened up and welcomed the idea of her mother loving her.

Revan's grin grew a little wider. "Not quite. She said that, whatever it was she had, the doctors helped her beat it into remission. She's still working on recovering, but…" Revan let her voice trail off, though the twinkle in her eyes gave away what she had left unsaid.

"You mean… she's okay?" Bastila asked immediately, hoping and praying that it was true. There was so much she wanted to say to her mother, so much she wanted to catch up on…

Revan waited for an antagonizing moment before nodding and hugging Bastila tightly.

Relief and happiness was quickly dulled by pain. "Watch the ribs," Bastila hissed, wincing at the pain. Almost immediately after Revan released her, Bastila was crying. They weren't tears of pain, but tears of joy that her mother was all right.

"She asked about you," Revan added quietly, rubbing Bastila's back gently to soothe her. "I didn't tell her anything about Malak. I just said that you were back on the ship meditating. She didn't press it. I think she's starting to try and accept what the Jedi have taught you."

Bastila grinned through her tears. "I want to see her, Rev," she whispered. "I actually want to see her."

"And I couldn't be more proud of you, Bas." Revan brushed her lips across Bastila's forehead, wiping away Bastila's tears with her thumb. "We'll go there as soon as we can."

"Good," Bastila mumbled, testing her newly healed left arm. She was pleased with her work, setting her powers to healing her ribs and collarbone. A moment later she was done, still sore and achy, but her bones were healed. Her Force powers exhausted, Bastila snuggled closer to Revan, closing her eyes and relaxing in the warmth of Revan's arms.

"Knock knock," Jolee called, walking into the room. His arms were full of medpacs, a grin on his face. "How are you two kids doing?"

"Fine," Revan replied. "We're both fine."

"Mhm," Bastila added, sounding drowsy. "Doing good."

"Good," Jolee replied, setting the medpacs on the foot of the bed. "How's the bones?" he asked Bastila, heading to her and examining her arm. "Well, I'll be damned! You healed this up yourself, didn't you?" he barked.

Bastila nodded, rolling over onto her back, fixing her defiant gaze on the old man. "Yes, I did. It doesn't hurt, so I don't think I did too badly."

Jolee grumbled and shook his head. "Damn kids," he muttered, though it was obvious by his voice that he was pleased at Bastila's accomplishment.

Revan and Bastila laughed.

Jolee rolled his eyes at them, gently forcing Bastila out of Revan's arms so he could examine Revan.

Bastila sighed, perching on the bedside so Jolee could check on Revan. She took Revan's hand and squeezed it gently, trying to think of some smart remark to send Jolee's way.

"Oh, by the way," Jolee began. "Carth got a message from the Admiral. Apparently there's going to be a ceremony on the alien planet we found, and we've been invited to join."

Revan winced, more out of displeasure than pain. "I suppose we have to?"

Jolee chuckled. "You'd be insulting the entire government if you didn't."

"Damn it." Revan winced again, out of pain this time as Jolee prodded her shoulder.

"Oh, Bastila?" Jolee called, checking the wound on Revan's leg. "Would you mind finding Mission? She's been worried sick about both of you, and I think she's convinced you both are nearly dead." He turned and raised an eyebrow at Bastila, daring her to stay.

Bastila grumbled, squeezing Revan's hand as she got up. "I'll be back," she mumbled, heading out of the room. She walked down the hallway, her ears picking up the sounds of hushed voices talking in the commons. Her stomach lurched at the prospect of walking into the commons, full of people that she was sure now hated her for falling to the dark side. In a way, she had betrayed their entire mission, and she was sure most people would resent her for it.

Bastila paused outside the entrance to the commons, wetting her lips and drawing a breath. She finally forced herself to step around the corner, waiting for the shouts of anger. Instead, she was met with a different sound.

"BASTILA!" Mission yelped happily, rushing to her and throwing her arms around the Jedi. "You're okay!"

Bastila hugged the Twi'lek, glancing around and seeing smiles on everyone's faces.

Canderous harrumphed a greeting, Carth shook her hand, Zaalbar howled something in his native tongue, all of the sounds of relief and happiness. Bastila stood there in the doorway, knowing that she looked completely confused.

"I… I thought you all would hate me," she managed to say, her gaze dropping down to the floor.

"Well," Canderous began, a laugh in his voice. "We--"

Mission smacked him and Carth shot him a furious glance. "Why would we?" Mission asked. "You're part of this crew, and you sacrificed yourself to save us all! Maybe it wasn't the greatest thing in the galaxy when you fell, but no one hates you for it. You're back now, aren't you?" She shot a glare at Canderous as she spoke.

Bastila grinned and nodded, sighing with relief. "Thank you," she whispered.

Carth shifted his weight from foot to foot uneasily. "Uh… How's Revan?"

"Fine. She's doing really well," Bastila replied, grinning. "She's less than excited about the ceremony, but she's fine."

Everyone looked relieved.

"Great," Mission exclaimed, looking excited. "Now, who's ready for lunch? Big Z and I have been preparing something special!"

* * *

"… The saviors of the galaxy, you shall always be remembered in the history of our archives," Zhar boomed, glancing out at the large crowd. "We will hold you in great regard through the ages…. Revan, the Prodigal Knight."

The crowd roared, cheering so loudly that Revan couldn't even hear herself saying "thank you." She sighed, waving to the crowd as she grinned at her friends.

Admiral Dodonna held up a hand and the crowd slowly fell silent. "And on behalf of the Republic, I would like to present you with the Cross of Glory." She held up the medal before hanging it around Revan's neck.

Revan smiled her thanks, knowing she couldn't be heard as the crowd began cheering again. The admiral shook her hand warmly.

As the cheering died down, music began playing and most of the crowd began talking amongst themselves, some pointing at Revan and cheering more.

Revan sighed, the sound one of peaceful happiness. Malak was dead, the Sith were gone, and she and Bastila were together again. She turned to Bastila, who was watching her with a grin.

Bastila leaned in close to Revan's ear so she could be heard. "I'm so proud of you."

Revan laughed. "I could say the same, Bas." She took Bastila's hand, shooting a defiant look at Vrook when he frowned. She and Bastila laughed, turning and heading out of the ceremonial area, back down to the beach where the _Ebon Hawk_ was.

They boarded the _Hawk _and headed to the dorm. For a moment, they sat silently on the bed, just staring at each other.

"This is... odd," Bastila said finally. "Who are you?" Upon receiving a confused look from Revan, Bastila smiled. "I mean, you're still the woman I love more than anything, you're still my best friend, but... who are you? Are you Kat, or are you Revan?"

Revan hesitated. "Who do you want me to be?" she asked finally.

Bastila shook her head. "Answer me with an answer, Rev, not a question."

"This isn't fair," Revan said immediately. "I've been two people, and you're telling me to choose who I am? That's like telling a gizka to choose between mating in a cupboard or in Carth's bed!"

Bastila burst into laughter at the analogy, mostly because it made no sense. She calmed herself down a minute later when she saw that Revan wasn't laughing. A serious expression was on Revan's face as she watched Bastila.

"You know who I wanna be?" Revan asked softly, taking Bastila's hands in hers and holding them tightly. "I want to be the person that you dream about every spare minute of your time. I want to be the person that's always there to dry away your tears. I want to be the shield that protects you from evil. I want to be the person that you know will always love you, no matter what happens. I want to be the person that you don't want to live without. I want to be yours. _**That's **_who I want to be," Revan finished fiercely.

Tears filled Bastila's eyes as she listened to Revan, and when Revan had finished, she smiled so wide she thought her face might split in two. "That's who you are," Bastila replied emotionally, releasing Revan's hands and reaching for Revan's collar, pulling her into a passionate kiss.

When they broke apart, Revan's eyes were shining with joyful tears. "I love you, Bastila," she whispered breathlessly.

"I love you, too," Bastila murmured, hugging Revan tightly.

"Who do you want me to be, Bas?" Revan asked again, her voice a whisper.

"Revan," Bastila responded in Revan's ear. "You're the only one for me, Rev. I love you more than anyone else in the entire galaxy."

Revan chuckled, stroking Bastila's hair as she enjoyed the feeling of being in Bastila's arms. "I love you, Bas."

They sat there on the bed for a few more minutes, holding each other close and exchanging soft, loving kisses. Finally, after so many years, they were once again able to be together. Nothing could break the bond of love between them. And absolutely nothing would ever separate them again.

~*~THE END~*~

* * *

There you go. What'd you think? I hope you enjoyed it, or at the very least didn't think it was a complete waste of your time.

If I made any mistakes, let me know and I'll go back and fix them; I don't catch every mistake I make. =]


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